Just dismissed an athlete for back-sassing, get call from parent, situation explodes.

I was a team captain on my high school and college teams and got on very well with all my coaches but if they used the terms "back sassing" and "persistent infringement" I'm pretty sure I would have caused some problems too. This kid may be a jerk but you have to seriously consider the fact that you might be one too.

I think you just back-sassed, sir.

Maybe the apple didn't fall far from the tree.

Why do you feel his wording indicates he might be a jerk?

Sassback wrote:

I was a team captain on my high school and college teams and got on very well with all my coaches but if they used the terms "back sassing" and "persistent infringement" I'm pretty sure I would have caused some problems too. This kid may be a jerk but you have to seriously consider the fact that you might be one too.

Hope you notified your AD and Principal when it occured. Hope you crossed your "t"s and dotted your "i"s.

coach minters wrote:

Earlier this month I dismissed an athlete from the high school program for persistent infringment (documented) of team rules, and for final straw of back-talking and ignoring all direction in this one practice session, delaying everyone else's training that day until he just left the area.

This Monday I get call from the athlete's parent, calling me every name under the sun for embarrassing his son, and basically stating I am an embarrassment to coaching high school sports, and that he is filing a grievance.

Now I have meeting with the AD and Principal, probably more with the Superintendant if I hold my line. Should be interesting.

I received a similar email from a friend of mine who is a HS coach. He was super nervous and frustrated with the whole situation. He eventually goes into the AD's office to discuss the problem, expecting the AD to be upset. The AD didn't even know what he was talking about at first. "Oh yeah, another one of these" was the AD's ultimate response, I believe. If you teach at a decent sized school in a good area, the AD gets similar complaints regularly. Don't sweat it.

Details? What were his (documented) persistent infringements? And what did he say that was back-talk? In response to what?

As a high school AD, I get to deal with all types of complaints,etc from parents and students alike. Most of the time, once a parent calms down and you can have an adult conversation with them it works out. Keep in mind, this parent "probably" only has one side of the story which will be somewhat squewed by his child. None the less, assuming you have sound and logical team rules which you have presented to the team and their parents, vocally and on paper, and you have documented times in which team rules have been broken....you should be fine with your AD and Principal.

I guess as an AD, my question to would be; If there have been "persistent infringements" of team rules, how have you addressed these up to this point, and why was this not taken care of before dismissing the athlete from the team?

Best of luck. Let us know how the meeting goes.

Here's your trump card.

When you have the final meeting with the AD, the truant miscreant kid, and his equally obnoxious parents, at some point you should take out a Bible (or American flag) and say this:

"I swear on the Bible that I am telling the truth that ...[fill in your entire complaint here while not removing your hand from the Bible/flag]"

Then challenge the kid to do the same. The parents will object, the kid might object, but at least you will have made a point that you are not afraid of speaking the truth wheareas they are afraid of something or they are hiding something or they do not have courage in their conviction....

Good luck dude

Don't think I'ved ever heard of swearing an oath on the flag. Is that done some place in particular?

If you don't believe in God or the Bible then why would swearing on it make a difference? Isn't that like a false promise?

You are a high school coach. There a ways of dealing with this type of kid.

What you do is make him so miserable he quits. Make him run with the girls. Ignore him. Extra push-ups or hills. He won't be back next year.

You just have to do your best without kicking him off to make being on your team not worth it for him.

If you had a good group the upperclassmen would take care of this for you.

coach minters wrote:

Earlier this month I dismissed an athlete from the high school program for persistent infringment (documented) of team rules, and for final straw of back-talking and ignoring all direction in this one practice session, delaying everyone else's training that day until he just left the area.

This Monday I get call from the athlete's parent, calling me every name under the sun for embarrassing his son, and basically stating I am an embarrassment to coaching high school sports, and that he is filing a grievance.

Now I have meeting with the AD and Principal, probably more with the Superintendant if I hold my line. Should be interesting.

Good job. Stand your ground and showcase the proof (very smart getting that documented).

Good luck and all the best.

Rooster Magnet Jenny wrote:

Here's your trump card.

When you have the final meeting with the AD, the truant miscreant kid, and his equally obnoxious parents, at some point you should take out a Bible (or American flag) and say this:

"I swear on the Bible that I am telling the truth that ...[fill in your entire complaint here while not removing your hand from the Bible/flag]"

Then challenge the kid to do the same. The parents will object, the kid might object, but at least you will have made a point that you are not afraid of speaking the truth wheareas they are afraid of something or they are hiding something or they do not have courage in their conviction....

Good luck dude

You're joking, right?

What a combo. Proof once again that an acorn never falls far from the oak.

Bring all of your documentation. Keep the subject on that particular kid, don't mention any other kids. If they try to, just say I am only here to discuss your child, it is inappropriate to discuss another kid.

Your ad, principal, or even superintendent will back you or they won't. My experience is that if you have all of your ducks in a row, you will be fine.

The parent probably just wants to vent.

he'd be punched out bloody arm or leg broken from nage waza and hospitalized in my platoon

There are a lot of self-entitled students out there. Present your case and describe how learning discipline and how to follow rules through a sport is an important part of life. If you handled the situation professionally in the past and can do it in the future, a respectable AD will side with you.

But, be prepared for it to go further than that...

There is a case by where I live that made the front page of the local newspaper and has caused a huge debate. Some kid on a local football team, where the team rules specifically state you are not allowed to miss practice for family vacation (keeping in mind it is during the school year), some kid missed a week of practice to go to Florida. His brother was in a paintball tournament and the family went to watch for a week. He was warned that if he missed practice for it, he would be cut from the team. He went on vacation, and was then cut from the team. And now he and the parents are making a big deal about how unfair it is.

So be prepared to defend yourself beyond the AD meeting...

And honestly the real problems began when I pooped on that baby squirrel.