Maybe it's just because I've become jaded by reading this messageboard, but are there any other women on here who don't particularly want to get married? In some ways I feel like there's a lot I'd like to do (travel, etc.) and getting married ties you down in a way (especially for a woman, even in this day and age).
No. Find a man, fall in love, have some babies and play your god-given role in society.
disillusioned. wrote:
Maybe it's just because I've become jaded by reading this messageboard, but are there any other women on here who don't particularly want to get married? In some ways I feel like there's a lot I'd like to do (travel, etc.) and getting married ties you down in a way (especially for a woman, even in this day and age).
Why are you jaded about marriage by reading this message board? You realize this place does not reflect reality, right?
That being said, I'm 37 and am not married yet. I've had several longer term relationships (1-4 years), but I'm not particularly motivated to find someone to "settle down with." I'm a very busy person (PhD in physical sciences, researcher), and I do a lot of traveling to remote locations to collect samples, attend conferences, etc. I'm also very active (backcountry ski, mtn bike, kayak, run, etc.), and all of those things take time. Relationships also take a lot of time, effort, and dedication. They can be really wonderful if you've found a perfect "partner in crime," but they can also be draining. Perhaps I'm being a bit selfish, but I've never let the pursuit of a relationship rule my life, and I'm not worried about not being married at this age...
Just do what's right for you and your lifestyle...
You realize you are just supporting my point...
Well, this messageboard in a way does show people's true colors. I'm actually in graduate school for electrical engineering so am also very busy. However, I've seen others similar to my age talking about marriage and I guess it does not appeal to me, maybe I just haven't met the right person yet. The other thing is, I don't know if I've just met the wrong people but it seems like some men are intimidated by a woman who makes more money than them (I will most likely be making at least 6 figures) and while I go by my actual experiences first, reading what some of the guys on this messageboard say seems to just justify my real-ife experiences.
Not this guy.You want to meet up, baby?
disillusioned. wrote:
but it seems like some men are intimidated by a woman who makes more money than them (I will most likely be making at least 6 figures
disillusioned. wrote:
... but it seems like some men are intimidated by a woman who makes more money than them (I will most likely be making at least 6 figures)...
It also seems like many women who are unattractive, either physically or personality-wise, comfort themselves by saying that the reason that men are not interested is because they are intimidated by women who make more money than them.
I knew this would come up as well, and it is something that goes both ways.
disillusioned. wrote:
I knew this would come up as well, and it is something that goes both ways.
I think that many things go both ways. And certainly the general phenomena of one comforting oneself that the reason that members of the opposite gender are not interested is something other than what it actually is qualifies as being bi-directional. However, the specific notion that members of the opposite gender do not show interest due to being intimidated by one being too successful I do not believe goes both ways. Financially successful men have women basically throwing themselves at them all the time.
Haha... did a woman actually say that men might be intimidated by the fact that she "likely" will make six figures????
Wouldn't cover the taxes on my bonus sweetheart.
If you were smart you would put a lot more effort into being beautiful and trying to find a husband than busting yourself up to "likely" make six figures.
Again, proving my point about this messageboard showing the true colors of people and how there are seem to be quite a few misogynists out there.
I like what I do and have already been offered some pretty good jobs so I'm not going to change that.
I legitimately did not know there were women on these boards at all.
disillusioned. wrote:
Maybe it's just because I've become jaded by reading this messageboard, but are there any other women on here who don't particularly want to get married? In some ways I feel like there's a lot I'd like to do (travel, etc.) and getting married ties you down in a way (especially for a woman, even in this day and age).
Make no mistake about it, marriage is not for the faint-hearted. In the long run, there is nothing easy about it, particularly if children are involved. Forget the romanticized notions - poof, gone within the first 5 years. The well quoted statistic that 50% of all first marriages in divorce is true. And of the 50% that survive -well at least 50% of those are bordering on miserable and stay together for financial reasons. Having said all that, marriage can be a fine institution for those that have the disposition for it. Simple fact is, most of us don't. In the long run, it has nothing to do with looks. By the time we are 60 we all look like hell. A successful marrigae takes a strong desire, discipline, and a lot of damn hard work. Contrary to a popular and long-held belief, marriage and motherhood or fatherhood does not make you a better person. For many, it's a personal tragedy that results in the ruin of many lives. It's a not a decision to take lightly. There is no hurry and you may decide you would be better off devoting your life to another worthwhile pursuit....just as many people have done before you.
Lesson from an Old Timer wrote:
[quote]disillusioned. wrote:
The well quoted statistic that 50% of all first marriages in divorce is true. .
Actually it isn't. Damn, that would have been a great one for that thread about things that everyone believes that aren't really true!
http://www.nytimes.com/2005/04/19/health/19divo.htmldisillusioned. wrote:
(I will most likely be making at least 6 figures.)
"at least 6 figures" implies pretty close to 7, meaning a starting salary well in excess or half a million dollars. ZERO masters or Ph. D. graduates in electrical engineering make more than $150,000 starting salary, and very few will ever get above $200,000, and if they do, it likely isn't because of their degree.
this is coming from a recent engineering grad making <$35,000, so im certainly not trying to belittle you, just helping you open your eyes a little to the discrepancy between your future financial worth and perceived future financial worth.
Just admit you you want to bang a load of different guys
Call it travel if you want but its really the etc. you are after
DocLove wrote:
Just admit you you want to bang a load of different guys
Call it travel if you want but its really the etc. you are after
I'll admit it. Nothing wrong at all with a girl that needs some satisfaction on a regular basis.
Female Perspective wrote:
DocLove wrote:Just admit you you want to bang a load of different guys
Call it travel if you want but its really the etc. you are after
I'll admit it. Nothing wrong at all with a girl that needs some satisfaction on a regular basis.
Might be something wrong with it in about 20 years . . .
I didn't mean to imply pretty close to 7. But I've already had a few job offers around the $120-130k range, which while isn't "out of this world mind-boggling", I don't think it's all that bad either.
i plan to retire when im 40. any ladies interested in helping my(our) dream become a reality?