The Runner’s Code
This is the code laid down by the founding persons of Allendale Cross and Track running, The listed articles are absolute truths and rights as decided by the Founding Fathers. We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all Runners are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness. --That to secure these rights, Governments are instituted among Men, deriving their just powers from their seniority and their respective race times.
The order of the running chain of command is determined by two things, Race times and seniority. Race times hold a slight advantage over seniority unless said runner is 2 or more years advanced of another runner.
Captain status is valued above both of these. (Article amendments act of 2011.)
In the running group, there must be at least one, but no more then one,nick-named Caboose. When said caboose graduates then another Caboose must be selected from among the Freshman.
An absolute truth: ALL FAT PEOPLE ARE GROSS.
A runner must make time for adventure runs during the base phase of running (winter/summer).
During an adventure run, if a runner comes across a river, then said runner must cross it.
EXCEPTION: unless said river is giant.
A runner must own and wear short shorts.
If the temperature is above freezing then a runner will wear short shorts. If the temperature is above 40 degrees, then a runner will wear a t-shirt or no shirt.
A runner reserves the right to mock sprinters, unless they openly admit that distance running is harder then sprinting. Example: Bryce Brown.
If you don’t think this Code is Law then Nick, Thomas, Grant, and Brandon have the right to mock you mercilessly until the wrong has been righted to the satisfaction of said runners.
A runner will respect other runners, unless said runners are in fact joggers , or just very slow.
If any runner has completed a marathon without walking they deserve respect no questions asked.
When a runner is about to pass gas, the runner must move to the back of the pack.
A true runner must know of and have a favorite professional runner.
Example: Thomas - Galen Rupp
Example: Nick- Dathan Ritzenheim
A runner must know how far kilometers are and be able to explain how far a 10K or 5K is.
A runner will be amused when someone asks if they have ran a marathon, but secretly can mock them.
A runner must respect swimmers and bikers, for they are also children of endurance sports.
A runner must ALWAYS answer the locating call (Scoo-Scoo)
If a runner must go number 2 during a run, the runner must go very far off the trail before going.
During Cross country races, a runner will be quiet and respectful to their opponents until they get into the woods.
But, if you really don’t like the other runners, then just wait until the gun goes off.
A runner must know and understand how fast times really are for different distances.
A runner must read at least one book about running.
A runner must understand that running is actually a TEAM sport, don’t believe what everybody tells you.
A runner must know who Steve Prefontane is.
A runner must, at cross camp, give freshman crap. (but nothing that could end up like West Catholic)
A runner must take offense to “run forest run”.
If yelled at during a run, the common method of retaliation is the middle finger.
During the winter adventure runs, frozen rivers and lakes are not off limits for crossing.
In the running group, one runner must be nominated for “river tester/jumper”, or the person who goes first.
EXAMPLE: Grant Schlinz
A runner must have a general idea of one running world record.
A runner can mock runners who don’t wear spikes during races.
A runner must know the difference between different types of shoes
EXAMPLE: spikes, trainers, flats
The food after meets is to be eaten by only runners who ran a race. No exceptions.
A runner will beware the Bowser-rage and especially the dreaded Nerd-rage.
A runner under no circumstances can half step another runner on an easy day.
EXAMPLE: Matt Mcgee
A runner reserves the right to complain about all the miles they have run, even if they secretly love it.
If a runner qualifies for the state meets, that said runner will do something crazy to their hair to celebrate.
SUB XXXV: Girls are exempt.
In the presence of other people , a runner may exaggerate their PRs by no more then 5 seconds.
A runner may only give excuses for bad races only if they were sick, they have ran more then one hard race that day, they had no sleep, or if there was a family issue or If they had not dropped their mileage in a long time.
A runner will try and get the smallest pair of short shorts and singlet available.
Stay out of lane one if you’re slower then dirt.
Know they place on the starting line.