Training my cat to run up to 20 miles

Wear Lady Gaga's meat dress.

http://i.acdn.us/image/A1308/1308684/300_1308684.jpg

I appreciate your originality with this post. 7/10.

youfvcking dusche a cat can't even run 5 miles at 7 min pace!!!!!!

Mr. Obvious wrote:

I appreciate your originality with this post. 7/10.

What originality? He stole that cat name from my post in the "what do I call this fuzzball?" thread!

fdsfdsfsaf wrote:

[quote]Mr. Obvious wrote:

I appreciate your originality with this post. 7/10.[quote]

What originality? He stole that cat name from my post in the "what do I call this fuzzball?" thread!

+1 for inside reference to another thread.

yeah I've often wondered if I could train my dog to run beside me. Saw a dog threadmill once. Crazy guys built a miniture threadmill saw a dog working out on it for like 2 mins. No I'm not trolling, saw it with my very own eyes. Werid huh.

if a cat can do this

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y97z-8xeTJw&feature=related

then i'm sure that with some hard work you could convince it to run few miles lol

A werid miniture threadmill....?

For starters, you'll need a really big ball of yarn.

this just in wrote:

dusche pace

What is this? German?

lonely guy wrote:

I've been really lonely on my runs recently and don't have anyone to run with here. I live in a small town and no one here runs competitively or even cares about it. I, however, own a cat who I've noticed is quite fast when I get out some catnip for him. His name is Silas Kiplacat and he's 3 years old. He's an Australian Mist.

I plan to start taking him on runs with me. What is the best way to quickly increase his endurance so that he's able to run 20 miles at 7 minute pace?

You can do it if you work hard at it.

I wanted to try it with a pet monkey but it didn't work well.

You see, I like monkey's

The pet store was selling them for five cents a piece. I thought that

odd since they were normally a couple thousand each. I decided not to

look a gift horse in the mouth. I bought 200. I like monkeys.

I took my 200 monkeys home. I have a big car. I let one drive. His

name was Sigmund. He was retarded. In fact, none of them were really

bright. They kept punching themselves in their genitals. I laughed.

Then they punched my genitals. I stopped laughing.

I herded them into my room. They didn't adapt very well to their new

environment. They would screech, hurl themselves off of the couch at

high speeds and slam into the wall. Although humorous at first, the

spectacle lost its novelty halfway into its third hour.

Two hours later I found out why all the monkeys were so inexpensive:

they all died. No apparent reason. They all just sorta' dropped dead.

Kinda' like when you buy a goldfish and it dies five hours later. Damn

cheap monkeys.

I didn't know what to do. There were 200 dead monkeys lying all over my

room, on the bed, in the dresser, hanging from my bookcase. It looked

like I had 200 throw rugs.

I tried to flush one down the toilet. It didn't work. It got stuck.

Then I had one dead, wet monkey and 199 dead, dry monkeys.

I tried pretending that they were just stuffed animals. That worked for

a while, that is until they began to decompose. It started to smell real

bad.

I had to pee but there was a dead monkey in the toilet and I didn't want

to call the plumber. I was embarrassed.

I tried to slow down the decomposition by freezing them. Unfortunately

there was only enough room for two monkeys at a time so I had to change

them every 30 seconds. I also had to eat all the food in the freezer so

it didn't all go bad.

I tried burning them. Little did I know my bed was flammable. I had to

extinguish the fire.

Then I had one dead, wet monkey in my toilet, two dead, frozen monkeys in

my freezer, and 197 dead, charred monkeys in a pile on my bed. The odor

wasn't improving.

I became agitated at my inability to dispose of my monkeys and to use the

bathroom. I severely beat one of my monkeys. I felt better.

I tried throwing them way but the garbage man said that the city wasn't

allowed to dispose of charred primates. I told him that I had a wet

one. He couldn't take that one either. I didn't bother asking about the

frozen ones.

I finally arrived at a solution. I gave them out as Christmas gifts. My

friends didn't know quite what to say. They pretended that they like

them but I could tell they were lying. Ingrates. So I punched them in

the genitals.

I like monkeys

Well done.

wenus wrote:

Well done.

That was not well done.

10/10

Silas KiplaCat - you saved my evening

Go on training your cat, start maybe a seperate training thread...you´ll be a big one

Read this paper and learn from it. Take note of the method section:

"Another treadmill of 1.0 m length, 0.2 m width and with 0.4 m walls was used ... All walls were made of transparent Plexiglas to enable recordings from the two opposite sides. The front wall also contained a window through which food rewards were given. The treadmill consisted of two parallel moving belts. Both could be driven at the same speed or the left one could be disconnected from the motor and manually operated while the right belt was still driven by the

motor. With these split belts the limbs on the left side could step with another speed than the right limbs.

During the training and recording sessions the velocity of the treadmill belt was kept constant for periods

of 30 to 90 seconds. After each session a short pause was introduced to avoid fatigue. The cats were trained

to step in the middle or front part of the treadmill.

True story. My cat used to wait outside for me every morning, and the only way I could keep it from following me out into the street was to sprint around my apartment complex a few times. He would try to hang with me but after less than a hundred meters, he was toast. Even when I tried to slow down a whole bunch for him a few times (12 minute miles?... we were basically walking quickly) he would struggle really hard after 2-3 minutes and eventually flop in front of my door panting. By the time I got to the second or third lap, he'd be staring straight down and reacting late whenever I turned. I think most cats are all fast twitches and exhaustion. He could hang right with a fast run for 30-40 meters though, and he had fantastic cornering abilities. He's a Maine Coon Cat.

He just wanted your companionship but you had to humiliate him, didn't you?

I'm just suprised you get any pussy

That sounds like a cool cat.

Cats are sprinters, not distance runners. If you want a distance runner, get a dog.