Sometimes you just have to know if you'd be happier. To me, you're not cheating till it gets physical. Anybody else think this way?
Sometimes you just have to know if you'd be happier. To me, you're not cheating till it gets physical. Anybody else think this way?
It's not cheating if you tell girl #1 that you're dating other women, and give her the opportunity to date other guys.
No such thing as cheating until you are living together or engaged. Saying "I love you" and hooking up with someone else is debatable. I don't understand why today it's wrong to hook up with another woman when there is no commitment in the current relationship. Seems stupid and immature.
I think it sort of depends on the seriousness of the relationship in question. If you're just 'seeing someone,' probably not a big deal. Everybody likes to flirt for the ego boost regardless of their relationship situation.
Still, I think you can definitely cheat without it being physical, and sometimes that's worse -- I'm sure a lot of people would have a bigger problem with their SO if they formed a really close emotional relationship with someone else (to the detriment of their close emotional relationship with the boyfriend/girlfriend) versus if they got drunk and hooked up with someone. Still, if somebody had a prolonged sexual affair with somebody that would of course be worse (in my mind) than the drunk hookup, and maybe worse than the emotional affair, &etc.
Super-indulgent tangent alert/cool story bro: I love/am in love with my boyfriend and have been with him for ~2 years, but I REALLY miss the feeling of hooking up with somebody new. So the thought of cheating has been on my mind a bit lately, though I don't think I could ever go through with it. We still have sex, and it's good with him most of the time, but definitely not the best I've ever had -- and being so comfortable with him and comfortable (sometimes bored?) with our relationship sort of kills the sex drive a little. Actually -- I'm not bored with the realationship, I'm just bored with the sex. He is somebody I could really see myself with, save for the fact of having sex exclusively with him for the rest of my life. I mean... I'm 21.
In a perfect world I would be able to be with him as well as have hookups on the side -- he could too -- but how the hell do you begin to navigate that? He's turned on by the thought of me with other guys but whenever I've tentatively introduced the subject I get the impression he would really not be receptive to an open relationship or even a threesome. I read the post-nuptial shutoff thread a while ago, seriously start to finish, and some of the responses really struck a chord. I don't want to break up with him for this because he is so great in so many other ways, but I also don't want to be doomed to a sexless marriage due to boredom.
...I know there's a million things to do to "spice up your love life," but it's a complicated thing for everybody in this situation, I'm sure.
Teriyaki, I seriously question your love for your boyfriend. These doubts and thoughts about hooking up with other guys is a glaring red flag. If you were that much into him, the possibility would hold no allure. I feel sorry for the guy you're with. He probbaly deserves someone who is completely crazy and head over heels in love with him.
Lots of trolling on letsrun these days. It's getting sorta lame (and weird).
I'm having this same debate with myself lately. I've come down to a few things that I know for sure (or at least have made sense in my own sick and twisted mind). But you can all be the judges...
1. If you are not in a labeled relationship (i.e. girlfriend/boyfriend, husband/wife) then it is OK to see someone else. HOWEVER, if you are physical with both people then you should let each person know, it's just basic respect.
2. Having sex with another person other than your official partner (whatever the title be) is cheating. Even fooling around is cheating. Kissing is cheating. There is no fine line or degree. If you are official you should only have relations with that one person. The only exception would be if you both mutually agree it's an open relationship.
3. If you TRULY love someone (more than just on a comfort level and because you care about them as a friend/human), but if you love them as your better half, you wouldn't ever contemplate cheating. By contemplate, I don't mean you aren't naturally still attracted to other people you may meet, but I don't believe it's possible to truly act upon those physical feelings unless you aren't honestly in love with who you are currently with.
This is where I think people mess up the most. I don't think you can actually LOVE more than one or two people in a lifetime. We all find a person every now and then that we might even say "I love you" to. But there's a fine line between comfort and who we have grown used to and who we are actually passionate about. I'm sure a lot of cynics will vomit at this response. But then again they probably have not found a person to make them understand that either.
But it's Marisa Tomei!
moving on to different pussy eh big guy, atta boy, just had enough of that other bitch huh? well thats the way we roll in compton maf***a
Compton_Mofo wrote:
moving on to different pussy eh big guy, atta boy, just had enough of that other bitch huh? well thats the way we roll in compton maf***a
do they say 'eh' and 'atta' in compton?
sounds like you just know everything about compton, man your sick...NAWT, dude just let it go, your not getting any pussy like my friend here whos wheelin two bitches at once
the problem is that the term "dating" mean anything and everything and hence nothing. Therefore the misunderstanding.
'No such thing as cheating until you are living together or engaged'
Right but you are not going to move in with or get engaged to your gf or bf if they bang somebody else
Neliah 2507,
Far from inducing vomit, your post has restored my faith in humanity ( if only partially ).
Point # 3 is dead-on right but I've met very few people in my lifetime who would agree not only on the matter of love's exclusivity, but love's once-and-for-all nature.
The guy you're with (assuming you're a girl) is tremendously fortunate. I fear, however, that the one you passionately loved might have gotten away. Same here.
The word "cheating" implies the breaking of a set rules. The set of rules are set by each relationship. In a mature, adult relationship, you should have a discussion as to what constitutes cheating.
Thanks cvfvfvfv...
It's funny you mention your faith in humanity because that is probably the biggest reason I refuse to be in an official relationship at the moment. I just don't have a lot of it either and I'll be damned if someone is going to claim me as their's when I'm not actually enough. I doubt this will always be the case; I do not hold a grudge against guys in general. But I'm also not going to live in a fantasy world and ignore the fact that the really cute and sweet and athletic and funny guy I met at the local coffee shop isn't shady about replying to txts or calling when he claims he will or following through with plans, or calling/msging at shady hours of the night. Plenty of my girlfriends ignore that behavior and it makes me laugh. I'm sure as a guy you deal with girls being just as shady at times.
When a couple breaks up, the first one in a new relationship wins.
Asking someone else out while you are still seeing someone is getting a head start - or a false start.
That's cheating.
Were you on a break?
Is it considered cheating if you are on a break?
get it on me wrote:
Compton_Mofo wrote:moving on to different pussy eh big guy, atta boy, just had enough of that other bitch huh? well thats the way we roll in compton maf***a
do they say 'eh' and 'atta' in compton?
They do on the Canadian side.