I need some life advice.

Not going to happen. Cut her off entirely, for a while at least. Maybe, maybe, maybe, when you don't think about her at all and don't have feelings for her, you can start being friends. Probably not though.

As my name says, I have been there in a very similar situation. My best advice is to try and move on which I know isnt easy. Distance for a period of time helps, even if you still really care for her and want to be great friends. Go out there, meet other people, hook up with some randoms, get a girlfriend if possible. Basically try to fill that void and over time it will heal.

I'm sorry to hear about this situation. The whole unofficial thing is always kind of iffy. I have found that being officially unofficial is never good because the feelings are the same as a official relationship but you are free to do what you want with other people, this is bound to hurt someone bad. Unforunately is was you.

My best advice is to forgive, forget and move on. People come on here and say you need to move on, and this is very true but the most important thing is you need forgive. Forgive yourself, forgive her if you hold any grudge. It will be difficult for you to find someone else if you have not forgiven. Because while you may not know it we give off vibes, if we hold grudges we will give off bad vibes and it will hurt the chances of moving on.

I sincerely hope you can move on and recover from this. I don't know you at all but based on the few lines you seem like a great person and someone who deserves better.

Good Luck!

girlsareawful wrote:

So I was seeing this girl since October on an unoffical basis (We were never dating or in a relationship she didn't want one). Everything was good for the most past. We both cared for each other and enjoyed hanging out and hooking up. This past weekend, she hooked up with one of guy friends who she is best of friends with and now she has no interest in anything like romantically with me. She just wants to be best friends. I really care about her and would like to be best friends but I can't put my feelings I still have for her beside. Any advice?

First of all, change your name from "Nancy", quit wearing panties and man up.

Second of all...nah, just go with the first thing I said.

Hang out with her, but hit on other girls. Go to a bar with her and a group, go home with someone else. You'll feel better. Either she won't care or will feel worse. So its a win win. Worst case she's cool with it, best case, she feels like shit, and you stuck it to her.

Been There Before wrote:

As my name says, I have been there in a very similar situation. My best advice is to try and move on which I know isnt easy. Distance for a period of time helps, even if you still really care for her and want to be great friends. Go out there, meet other people, hook up with some randoms, get a girlfriend if possible. Basically try to fill that void and over time it will heal.

This is good advice. Happened to me as well, sort of. I had been friends with this girl for several years and there was always a little sexual tension, then we finally acted on it once her bf moved far away and she was single. We talked all the time for a period and I really liked her, but she decided she didn't want to be anything more than friends, not even friends with benefits. It really sucked for a few months because I still saw her all the time and we would hang out and I still had feelings for her. Then I went to college. We have a very unusual relationship now in that we are really good friends and talk about everything with one another, even mess around on rare occasions, but neither of us have romantic feelings towards one another. I think the hook-ups are done though as we're both growing up and getting involved with other people.

More than you probably wanted to hear I guess, but the point is that some distance will do you well, at least for the time being. Find other girls. You may or may not be able to be friends with this girl later on without feeling hurt at all. Try not to worry about it now though.

Holy crap, I just had a conversation with a friend about this exact type of situation for him.

I'll agree with a couple of above folks: If she's not reciprocating, you have to move on. It sucks, but that's the only thing that will keep your sanity. As stated, one day MAYBE you can be good friends again. If you keep pursuing, you won't get her, and you just may lose a friend.

get yourself some pride

'We were never dating or in a relationship she didn't want one'

This was never going to happen. don't be 'friends' avoid her

point wrote:

Hang out with her, but hit on other girls. Go to a bar with her and a group, go home with someone else. You'll feel better. Either she won't care or will feel worse. So its a win win. Worst case she's cool with it, best case, she feels like shit, and you stuck it to her.

This is good advice, you can have a wing-woman. Does she have any cute friends?

I am always suspicious of women who want a guy for a best friend, especially when there was potential for a relationship. It is either incredibly shallow to think you can reject a guy and think that being his "best friend" will make everything kosher or incredibly selfish to think that you can reject a guy and keep getting all the benefits of a relationship while letting someone else get the good stuff. It is a simple fact of life that when chosing to be in a relationship with one person, you will almost always end up ending some close friendships or near-romances with people of the opposite sex. But why is it that girls always have to do the "we can still be best friends" routine?

I say move on gracefully. There really are other fish in the sea. Or maybe more appropriately, if you love someone, set them free. If they come back to you, it was meant to be.

DragonflyBlade21: A woman has a close male friend. This means that he is probably interested in her, which is why he hangs around so much. She sees him strictly as a friend. This always starts out with, you're a great guy, but I don't like you in that way. This is roughly the equivalent for the guy of going to a job interview and the company saying, You have a great resume, you have all the qualifications we are looking for, but we're not going to hire you. We will, however, use your resume as the basis for comparison for all other applicants. But, we're going to hire somebody who is far less qualified and is probably an alcoholic. And if he doesn't work out, we'll hire somebody else, but still not you. In fact, we will never hire you. But we will call you from time to time to complain about the person that we hired.