I really want to be the first person to hold my son, but my father in law insists that he be the first to hold him. I don't have a problem with him or anything, it just bothers me that he would want to take that away from me. Am I being selfish? If not, should I tell him I want to be the first without hurting his feelings?
Tell him to go fcuk himself. That it is your child and if anyone holds him/her first it should be your wife, followed by you. Tell the pr*ck the next time you impregnate his little girl you will consider it. Tell him doggie is your favorite position and that she likes it up the a*s.
You'll get plenty of time to hold your son later on, trust me. Can't say definitively whether you should or should not insist on holding him first, but do but take solace in knowing that either way, you've got many many years of holding and caring for your son. Might not be a bad thing to let Gramps have a small moment of glory; in the end, it won't matter. You're his father. You'll be taking care of him for the next 18+ years.
Congrats on having the child.
When somebody tries to cut in front of me in line, I tell them not to. Nothing personal, but if I were here first, you're behind me, not the reverse.
Doctors and medical personnel first, then parents, then when the parents are ready even hours or days later, anybody else. People have to learn not to jump the line in front of someone who belongs there, such as the mother and father.
Father in law had his turn to be first a generation ago. Now it's your turn.
Of course, if your father in law is the obstetrician, then let him. The newborn needs to be checked, cord clamped off, and likely aspirated first. See my doctor and medical personnel exception above.
Trust Me wrote:
Tell him to go fcuk himself. That it is your child and if anyone holds him/her first it should be your wife, followed by you. Tell the pr*ck the next time you impregnate his little girl you will consider it. Tell him doggie is your favorite position and that she likes it up the a*s.
+1
that is about the most offensive thing i have heard...talk about overbearingi am laid back about in-laws but if they made a request/demand like this i would think it was downright creepy and tell them noif I offered, then maybe it would be ok but you don't ask to be the first to hold someone else's child
not who you think wrote:
I really want to be the first person to hold my son, but my father in law insists that he be the first to hold him. I don't have a problem with him or anything, it just bothers me that he would want to take that away from me. Am I being selfish? If not, should I tell him I want to be the first without hurting his feelings?
It is unlikely they will allow your father-in-law in the "birthing room." It will likely be the doc., team of nurses, you and your wife.
Don't think this will even be an issue.
If you want to end around your F-I-L talk to the doc.
The crude first response was a classic, but not necessarily a realistic response from most people:)
That said, don't pull some pussy end around by having the doc talk to him. FIL will know you did this, will consider you weak, and will continue to pull this bullshit. The fact that you came here to ask tells me you get walked on by the guy already. Be very firm in a respectful manner. "With all respect sir, this is my child and I will be the second person holding it as soon as your daughter is finished." Not another word should or need be said.
No
I am Nurse. I've got you all covered.
You have two idiots in the family. Why make it three?.
Now way should you let him do this. A father is entitled, no it is a right, to be the first to hold his first newborn, whether male or female. I can't imagine anyone making such a request. What is he trying to prove, that he can bully you?
Your father in law sounds like a gaping asshole. Put him in his place.
It won't be an issue. We just had a baby boy and it was me, my wife, the doctor and a couple of nurses in the room. It would have been very uncomfortable for my wife to have anyone else, let alone her father, in the room during the birthing process. Also, the doctor will immediately give the baby to the mother after birth, which will be one of the most touching moments of your life. Then you will take over while they do the eye drops, weight check, bundling etc. You will then move to a regular room at which time, others can visit.
How about this wrote:
The crude first response was a classic, but not necessarily a realistic response from most people:)
That said, don't pull some pussy end around by having the doc talk to him. FIL will know you did this, will consider you weak, and will continue to pull this bullshit. The fact that you came here to ask tells me you get walked on by the guy already. Be very firm in a respectful manner. "With all respect sir, this is my child and I will be the second person holding it as soon as your daughter is finished." Not another word should or need be said.
I definitely don't let him walk all over me. I just wanted to get opinions from different people. And he seemed very passionate about holding him first. I really liked your response on what to say to him. I'll tell him tomorrow and post back his response. Thanks for the advice, people.
Answer above is correct.
The FIL sounds like a complete dipshit 1) that he would even ask such a thing and 2) he thinks it is possible ---like the kid is gonna drop from the vag on the table and NOBODY is gonna pick it up before he comes in to save the day.
not who you think wrote:
How about this wrote:The crude first response was a classic, but not necessarily a realistic response from most people:)
That said, don't pull some pussy end around by having the doc talk to him. FIL will know you did this, will consider you weak, and will continue to pull this bullshit. The fact that you came here to ask tells me you get walked on by the guy already. Be very firm in a respectful manner. "With all respect sir, this is my child and I will be the second person holding it as soon as your daughter is finished." Not another word should or need be said.
I definitely don't let him walk all over me. I just wanted to get opinions from different people. And he seemed very passionate about holding him first. I really liked your response on what to say to him. I'll tell him tomorrow and post back his response. Thanks for the advice, people.
I like the response of the guy above in the quote. Except I wouldn't say "your daughter" I would say "my wife." This guy needs to understand that this is your child, your wife, your life. Yes he is family, but he must understand his place in the life of the child: mom first, you second, everyone else somewhere below that in no particular order. If you let him get this, he will horn in on everything for the rest of the kid's life. You want that? Your wife should be standing up for this too. And besides, does she even want her father seeing her give birth? Does she want him to be there seeing her completely exposed like that? I doubt it. As long as she tells him she doesn't want him in the room (because it is just damn creepy for a dad to look at his daughter's vagina, even if it is giving birth) then he won't be there to hold the child first.
On another note, what an ass for even saying it to you.
gaping asshole
cool term
The Stache wrote:
That said, don't pull some pussy end around by having the doc talk to him. FIL will know you did this, will consider you weak, and will continue to pull this bullshit. The fact that you came here to ask tells me you get walked on by the guy already. Be very firm in a respectful manner.
This. You shouldn't even have to give a reason.
If you let him, he will assume other things about involvement with the child.
Make him promise to pay for junior's college education, then give him first dibs.