What Tiger Woods should say

"Sorry." (As he is thinking about the hundreds of millions of dollars he is going to lose in the divorce settlement.)

So you would advise him to tell a shaggy dog story that is clearly a bold face lie? It's not surprising that you have been a spin doctor for several companies and not just one. Good luck in getting your next day job.

Runner Spin Doctor wrote:

OK so I've been a spin doctor for several companies before so I have some experience with this.

There aren't many adroit liars such as you. Tiger's problem will blow away with time, but your condition is a fixture with you. Maybe that's why you have been with "several" companies and to this day cannot hold a job.

Your story is fall too complicated and filled with unnecessary detail. I doubt you were an effective spin doctor if one at all.

Actually I think your story is not bad. Of course it's morally wrong to lie, but it's well done.

Its clearly a lie. The only time you would give that much detail is when you have something to hide. I know it seems like a "logical explanation" but something short and simple is always better in these situations. Too many excuses, details, and explanation just make you sound guilty to any skilled listener.

what??? wrote:

Actually I think your story is not bad. Of course it's morally wrong to lie, but it's well done.

No. Too many details that could turn out to be untrue (unless the OP has done a hell of a lot of research into Tiger's life). Does Tiger actually have a boat that is stored in the location described? If so, was he turning the right direction out of the driveway to get to the boat? Did he actually take the boat out with the family on Thursday? The potential questions go on and on. The lie is pretty easy to expose if anyone looks into it.

The problem with fabrication is that it doesn't reconcile with the facts.

Woods was out of the driveway and was on the wrong side of the street when he ran into a fire hydrant and a tree.

Also, you would have difficulty explaining why the divot in Tiger's head matches his 9-iron.

Tiger Woods dilemma is pretty straightforward. If there is an innocent explanation for a slow-speed car accident he'd have already given it. He has, so far, refused to give a statement to police because if his wife ever comes forward with the truth in a divorce deposition, Tiger would have put himself in a perjury trap. What better revenge for her: half of a billion dollars, his house, his kids -- leaving Woods a convicted felon and the freedom to chase whores all he wants.

And then the reporters will ask, Was the Pokie Bear on the boat? And there is no boat dock just a half mile away. And you don't have a boat within 50 miles of here. And your kid hasn't been on a boat since July.

In other words, why lie? Seriously. There's nothing to cover up. Obviously, it was an accident and he wasn't DUI. The only charges he could possibly face are wreckless driving or driving without a seatbelt. Big deal. So what's there to cover up? Everyone assumes Tiger and his wife had a late-night fight. So any attempt to address that will only make it worse and look like covering up. Don't even address it.

how about:

"i am an adulterous asshole and if there were any justice my wife would have hit me in the nuts with my driver."

1/ Tiger was going to 7 11 for snacks 2/ put foot on accelerator too hard ,shot forward and hit fire hydrant,2 did not have seatbelt on ,he hit windshield with his mouth area as car hit neighbors tree. 3/ wife comes out because of noise and cant get door open, Tiger is out cold with blood comoing out of his mouth .4/ Wife gets golf club from house, runs to back of SUV and begins slamming back window 5/ Tiger wakes up and opens front door himself and gets out ot of vehicle , lies on ground while wife calls for help on phone.

why lie?

why talk at all?

if he speaks it could be used to charge him with whatever was occurring before the accident. even a disorderly conduct, if there was violence would prohibit him from owning a gun for the rest of his life, plus give him a criminal record. he is better to shut up and say nothing.

1) Tiger's on Ambien

2) Tiger got da munchies, accelerator stuck under de mat, but doesn't want ta offend sponsor GM

3) Wife chase Tiger out de house an broke de window wif a club? Why da f' does she have a club? Anyway, dat make Tiger crash.

come for you

I think it is pretty upstanding of Tiger to not tell authorities what really happened which would surely result in that Nordegren girl spending a lengthy amount of time in the big house for spousal abuse. Besides, who wants to admit they got beat up by their wife even if she did use an array of golf clubs to do it? The prettiest girls are always the most psycho!!!

Runner Spin Doctor wrote:

OK so I've been a spin doctor for several companies before so I have some experience with this. Here is what I think Tiger Woods should have said to the police and released in a official statement either late on Friday or early on Saturday:

You make it waayyyyy too complicated. This is all it would take:

"You guys do know it was Black Friday don't you? So how the F*** am I supposed to get Zuze Hamsters for my kids if I'm not out at 2:30 to get them?"

End of speculation.

Geez, no wonder you've been with several companies. They probably keep firing you if this is what you have to offer. My 6yo could cover this up better than this. Way too long and detailed. Obvious cover up.

eggxactly!

The only thing he should be saying is something to the wife like "them other bitches dont mean nothing to me, you da only one I love. They all is just physical conquests baby!"

"My wife insulted my girlfriend. I told her to shut up. She then beat me up. I tried to get the hell out of there, but my wife is way faster than I expected."

Tiger should STFU. He better not say anything to the cops.

He ought not say anything to the press. And he will be stupid to say anything to his fans.

STFU Tiger. So what if your wife went all Scandinavian on you. It happens to the best of us.