more relationship advice on how to deal with a runner boyfriend

8/10

Its probably not you that he's mad at, its his injury. Just give him some time to think and cool off. I know when i get hurt the last thing i want is someone asking me how i feel and how im doing.....just give him some room and when he starts talking to you, then you know he has got his anger under control.

Jeeze, that sounds like me...without the injury part...creepy

bizzy wrote:

when it came time for me to decide on a college, i followed him in hopes of furthering our relationship.

WHY? You should never follow a guy when deciding which college to go to. I've known couples who went to separate places and are now married. So it does work if you make an effort. By following him and spending too much time together, you are missing out on who you are and what you want (that IS what college is for).

Bizzy, what the f***?! You could have talked to me in person instead of making this dumbass post on LetsRun. This isn't Jerry Springer you know. I hate you and never want to see you again. You're getting fat, that's the real reason I no longer love you.

haha i kind of wish that was the case. however in reply to tx runner girl.. i know you're not supposed to follow your significant other to college. however, i went to my own college for a year, which was our second year of being long-distance and it was so hard and emotionally draining. and i'm not stuck at this school with him, nor am i staying. so no worries, i'm not missing out on the college experience or finding myself at all.

I would recommend dumping him preemptively and then starting to flirt with a few of his teammates - preferably ones who are faster than him (if any). Best case he realizes he made a mistake, asks you to take him back and starts treating you better. Worst case you get the last laugh.

well i would say you have a tough situation on your hands. i personally don't think there is anything wrong with following someone to college. if you feel that strongly, love is far more important than your degree or your career or anything 'professional'. and i'm saying for boys and girls, men and women alike - i don't care who is doing the following.

regardless, he's probably not very happy with his life right now. try to be there for him and if he's still upset, maybe there is something else going on that you aren't noticing or that is difficult to see.

relationships of all kinds can be emotionally draining. for all the amazing things you feel when you are in love, there are probably an equal amount of sorrows, frustrations, and various other melancholies, even if you have a good relationship. i hope everything works out ok!

Well I know I have a runner girlfriend that is also long distance so in a way we are similar. I guess the advice that I have for you is to give him a little more space but dont give up. Maybe try and be a little more affectionate and it could rub off. Good luck.

8?

more like .8/10

Whoa, you went to another college for a year, it was "emotionally draining" being away from him, so you transferred to his college even though your relationship has been rocky the entire time, and now that it's not working out with him, you're not staying (transferring again?)

Dump some drama, you're way too needy and high maintenance. You need to learn to back off, develop your own life, and stop trolling.

wow, definitely not the case! i've always planned on going to one university, taking part in the national and international exchange programs, and then returning to my home university to graduate. relationships are rocky in general, so that's definitely not why i'm transferring back. just the way you restated everything made it sound like i am basing everything off of my relationship which isn't true at all. i have a plan for college, which i just explained, and he happens to fit WITH it. and i'm probably the antithesis of high maintenance! also, thank you, happiest runner, for providing some true advice.

no can do on flirting with teammates faster than him because there isn't anyone...

Bizzy, you should break up with your boyfriend...preferably with a PowerPoint presentation. Keep us updated.

Sounds like he's gay.

Just some thoughts i have rolling around in my head after reading all of this. Happiest Runner says love is more important than anything else. This is not true, especially when you are only in your early years of college. There is so much more to your life right now than your boyfriend. I think people need to think of their own personally happiness before they try to appease the emotional needs of others. Who do you spend time with other than him? If that is pretty much nobody than I feel like that is a problem. You may have a plan for school and you are fitting him into that schedule, but it sounds like he is trying to tell you that he does not want you in that schedule. You yourself said "Each day is a continual struggle." that is no way for anyone to feel in a relationship. If you feel like that imagine how he feels, trying to tell you that things are not working out for him. I don't know of anyone or let alone relationship that has succeeded when someone in it says they want NO affection, and NONE given. There comes a point when you have to accept the hurt of a break up. I don't see any sign of him wanting to continue this relationship, and as much of it hurts, it really isn't much of one as it is. Hope this helps.

are you getting fat? that could be the reason...

okay, he's said he doesn't want affection, but he's given numerous mixed signals and has been plenty affectionate. the mixed signals he sends show me that he's just plenty confused, and he openly admits that he's confused on everything as well. .. and in response to the last comment, fat is definitely not the problem! i wish it was, so i could lose the weight and that'd fix things.

I think it's ridiculous you think that losing weight (if you had extra) would be a solution to what are clearly pretty deep problems. I'm sure that not all the of the issues in this relationship are created by your boyfriend, so maybe you need to take some time to work on issues that you are instigating. Do you have any friends outside of this boyfriend that you could talk this stuff over with? You just need to put yourself outside of the relationship for a while and gain some perspective. My two bits.