See a picture first?

If you're meeting on line, then a photo is fine before you decide to meet in person. If a friend is setting two other friends up on a date, then no photo. The friend doing the setting up is acting on the hunch that the two of them will hit if off. If one of them is not attractive and you know it won't work out because of that, then you shouldn't set them up.

No photos.

Photos make all kinds of sense to me. I'd go with that approach. I can remember a few instances where I'd WISHED I had asked for one beforehand.

Ever wear sunglasses in a restaurant at mid-day becuase you're afraid someone you know will see you with someone you'd just as soon NOT be seen with?

Ouch.

It's funny now, but it was scary then.

Such an event as Flagpole is referring to make cause one to seek out new friends.

Oh don't worry, I hear your friend's friend is very handsome, a real man's man. And he's so excited by your advanced press, he's getting his back waxed to make a good impression.

Pics. 100%.

Women think it's transparent only when a man requests the photo. Get used to it dude. It's known as

the "double standard". It will be around forever - and includes marriage. Trust me, I've been married for 11 years. Get a picture. Or, have an escape plan for the first date.

LOL. Been there, done that. Happy New Year. I'm laughing as I type this.

11-year sentence? Man, I'll drink a toast to you tonight and one for the guys on the "post nuptial shut off" thread.

I think some of you are missing the point of a "blind" date here...

hypnotoad wrote:

I think some of you are missing the point of a "blind" date here...

EXACTLY!

What's the big deal anyway with not seeing a picture? Go out to dinner, and if there's a connection, there is, if not, then just have a nice meal and head home.

If you're online and you meet someone, that's a BIG net you just cast. Before taking that interaction to a face to face meeting, a picture is warranted. A friend hooking up two friends though? Nope. If one is missing a limb or is 400 pounds, you should mention that, but other than that, photos is tacky.

This is how you set someone up (from Seinfeld of course):

"George: No! I'm not gonna do that! That's one step away from personal ads!

And prostitutes! No! No, I am not going down that road! What does she look

like?

Jerry: She's good looking.

George: How good looking?

Jerry: Very good looking.

George: Really good looking?

Jerry: Really very good looking.

George: Would you take her out?

Jerry: Yes, I would take her out.

George: Oh, you hesitated.

Jerry: What hesitate? I didn't hesitate!

George: No, something's off here, you hesitated.

Jerry: I'm telling you, she's good looking.

George: What about the body, what kind of body?

Jerry: Good body, nice body.

George: How nice?

Jerry: Nice.

George: Just nice?

Jerry: Pretty nice.

George: Really good?

Jerry: Really very nice and good.

George: What about personality?

Jerry: Good personality. Funny. Bright.

George: Smarter than me? I don't want anyone smarter than me.

Jerry: How could she be smarter than you?"

I met the girl I'm currently seeing through a mutual friend who set us up. Difference was that I knew who she was and she isn't admitting that she knew me, but I'm fairly sure she did. If I didn't have the photo it wouldn't have made too much of a difference because I trusted the girl's judgement, but you really never know so I would recommend it. At least ask the friend if the girl is hot, and if she hesitates at all with that question, do not go out with the girl.

Flagpole Willy wrote:

The friend doing the setting up is acting on the hunch that the two of them will hit if off. If one of them is not attractive and you know it won't work out because of that, then you shouldn't set them up.

No photos.

I agree with you Willy. A "real" friend knows their friends. Find a Yenta.

Maybe theoretically, but over half the time a blind date gets set up by mutual friends, it's either because they despair of one party (maybe both) being able to get a date without help or because they have a compulsion to match up single people (what else do you need in common besides being single?), not because they think you're incredibly compatible.

First I'd ask your friends how they think the other person will respond if you don't hit it off. If their reply indicates in any way that she'll start stalking you or be devastated that yet another man doesn't want to date her, call it off. Else, what's the worst that can happen by going?

What's a yenta, sorry...?

"If one of them is not attractive and you know it won't work out because of that, then you shouldn't set them up."

It doesn't always work that way, Flag. GOD< do I know that. I have had to tell one married couple to back off & quit setting me up with plus-sized women who couldn't get dates (Geez what am I, a boy scout looking for a good deed to do?)...it was getting embarrassing. 2 other couples I have lost contact with, which is just as well.

What is it about married people? Do they want the whole world to be married, mortgaged and miserable...as they are, or at least as many of them appear to be?

(shudder)

You can spend an hour or two, preferrably one, at a place and find religion in a big way:

"Please GOD don't let anyone I know come in here and see me with this one."

It can be totally destructive to one's self-respect & can be cause for great trauma...not to mention merciless verbal harrassment for weeks on end, if a witness appears & word gets out.

See the old, OLD thread on "wingmen".

rofl

bump

I have changed my name because somebody registered my name.

Yenta is used in Jewish terms because you get these typical gossip meisters who'll have a conversation such as the following:

Yenta A: "my son is 25 and a lawyer"

Yenta B: "my daughter is the prettiest thing you ever saw"

Yenta A: "We have a shidduch(match) one is male one is female what can be wrong"

Meanwhile in reality the daughter probably looks like a dog.

Do you follow?

It's sort of hard to explain to a non hebrew

Big Moe

Not to be confused with "Yentl".