Girlfriend needs money for a car - should I help her?

She has a car.

She is taking advantage of you.

When in doubt, don't.

She never should have asked for help. If it was your idea, fine.

Also, putting a credit card in her name is idiotic. She's 20 - she's going to run it up on clothes and you'll be stuck with the bill. Hopefully it's not a high limit card.

You've been together for 4 months and already have a credit card in her name? Wow.

I hope she lets you use her back door, because she is already using yours.

I don't know about post of the day, but that was pretty funny.

First off, this girl's to young for you.

Second, 4 months really?

Third, you start off giving a girl that much money and it's all down hill from there.

Fourth, How the hell are you 26 and so financially inexperienced with women? I'm 21 and see this is a terrible idea.

Only give her money knowing you will never see it again.

Tell her to ask daddy....

Jeepers buddy. Tell her to take the bus like every other teenager. Cradle robber.

inchworm wrote:

I’ve already given her about $800 towards a downpayment

and put a credit card of mine in her name as well to build her credit.

That means I’ll probably have to put in $2000 more (if I agree) to help her with the car.

The kicker:

We’ve been going out about 4 months.

I also don’t want her to take it for granted or take advantage of me.

Do the math, son, it is already happening.

You put a credit card in the name of your 20 year old girlfriend with whom you've been going out with for 4 months.

Common sense may not be your strong point.

If she works full time, she should be able to afford to lease until next spring. Let her use the $800 you gave her for that. Since she's working full time she should also be able to get financing from the used car dealership.

I have a really bad feeling about this. I had a crappy car in college too, and I would have worked a 2nd job before asking a boyfriend to match what I payed on a car.

Do you guys live together? Do you have any longterm plans? If, yes, then it's probably OK to share financial resources. OTOH, if you have just been dating w/o any particular commitment, giving her money seems like a bad idea.

inchworm wrote:

She wants me to match whatever she saves up for a car through the end of the year. That means I’ll probably have to put in $2000 more (if I agree) to help her with the car.

Tell her people in hell want ice water...

Give her some if you want to, but don't knuckle under to this demand. If you don't give her what she wants money-wise, what's she gonna do?

She is poor, and doesn’t have much. The car she currently has isn’t reliable enough for her to drive to come see me, so I drive my car to see her every day. If she got this car, it would ease the burden of me having to drive to see her all the time (20 miles each way).

I want to be generous and help her because others have been generous with me in the past. Kind of paying it forward you know?

I honestly don't think she's trying to take advantage of me. Maybe she is, but doesn't realize it. I really care a lot about her and want to help her out. She's a sweetheart and lives in a one bedroom apartment with her parents and two sisters.

Perhaps it was a bad idea to get involved with someone who is not on the same page as me economically. But hey, I like her and want to try and build something long-term here. This isnt' a fling for me.

Dude she is using you. Cut her off from the credit card and do NOT help with the car. This is bound for judge judy!

I am sure you are not going to listen so make sure you make it very clear it is a LOAN. Make her sign the papers too!

Tell her that she should help you buy yourself another car. You will then loan her the new car to drive.

See how she reacts to this. If she doesn't go for it, she's probably trying to take advantage of the situation (and already doing a pretty good job at it).

if you give her any money you are a fool. She is playing you like a fiddle.

The road to hell is paved with good intentions, my man.

One key question: Why did you already give her $800? Why not give it to her when she actually buys the car next spring?

DON'T give her any money. Money can create a bad dynamic and complicates many relationships. If you give her money there will always be a little hint of resentment. It just causes problems. The only situation in which you should give your girlfriend money is if you two get yourself into a situation together. For instance, my girlfriend and I rang up a big long distance phone bill where it was only her who was really charged for it, but I was equally responsible. In that case since I contributed to her outrageous bill, I helped her out a little bit. The bottom line is you have been dating this girl for 4 months. It's too early to be investing in her monetarily. You can invest in her in other ways. She's not your wife.

This is very good advice from SC Slim.

Also, why can't she get a credit card of her own? Credit card companies will lend to just about anybody, especially college students.

Milton Friedman wrote:

The road to hell is paved with good intentions, my man.

One key question: Why did you already give her $800? Why not give it to her when she actually buys the car next spring?

The $800 was a gift that she put in a savings account for the car.

Also, the credit card is for her to build her credit by her having my credit history on her report. Not for her to use.

She's had the card for a couple of months now, and has not used it once. So I trust her.

She really isn't being malicious like many of you think. So NO ONE is on the side of me being generous huh?