A rather chubby fellow was reading the paper one-day, lamenting the fact
that his doctor has ordered him to lose 30kg. Next thing he sees is an
advertisement for a "guaranteed" weight loss program. "This sounds a bit
doubtful!", he thinks to himself, "but let's see what they think they can
do". He calls them on the phone and subscribes to the 3 day, 5kg weight
loss program.
The next day there comes a knock at his door, and when he answers, there
stands before him a voluptuous, athletic 19-year-old babe dressed in
nothing but a pair of Nike's and a sign hanging around her neck. She
introduces herself as a representative of the weight loss company. The sign
reads, "If you can catch me, you can have me."
Well, without a second thought, he takes off after her. A few miles later,
huffing and puffing, he finally catches her and has his wicked way with
her. After they are through, he thinks to himself with a nod, "I like the
way this company does business."
For the next two days,the same girl shows up, and the same thing happens
each time. On the fourth day, he weighs himself, and sure enough he has
lost 5kg.
Deciding that he likes his somewhat slender physique, not to mention the
method of "treatment", he calls the company back and subscribes to their 5
day, 10kg weight loss program. He thinks that losing 10kg in only 5 days
seems like a lot, but he is intrigued by what their "workout" schedule
might be like this time.
As expected, the next day there comes a knock at his door. When he answers
it, there stands a 22-year-old drop-dead gorgeous female, dressed in
nothing but a pair of Reebok's and a sign around her neck. She is simply
stunning, the most beautiful woman he has ever seen. She introduces
herself as a representative of the weight loss company. The sign reads "If
you can catch me, you can have me." He's out the door like a shot. This
girl is in excellent shape, and it takes him a while to catch her, but when
he does, it is worth every cramp and wheeze.
He is really looking forward to the next four days....
For the next four days, the same girl shows up and the same thing happens
each time, much to his delight. On the sixth day, he weighs himself and,
unbelievably, he has lost another 10kg. "I love this company," he thinks to
himself, "I never knew losing weight could be so much fun."
Feeling much better about himself, he decides to go for broke and subscribe
to the company's 7 day, 25kg weight loss program. "Are you sure, sir?" asks
the representative on the phone. "This is our most rigorous program."
"Absolutely," says he, "I love your program. I haven't felt this good in
years!"
The next day there comes a knock at his door and he enthusiastically
answers it. There stands before him a 120kg perfect specimen of a man
dressed in nothing but racing spikes, nipple clamps and a sign around his
neck. The sign reads, "If I catch you, your sweet arse is mine!"