Has anyone ever had a falling out with their training partner or a running friend or even a runner girlfriend who was on your same running team but you had a not-so-friendly break up or ending of the relationship?
For me, I'm in a crappy situation but my training partner and I have grown apart and had an event happened that put an end to your friendship.
If you run the same routes and trails what do you do when you come face to face with them in passing? Or at races? Any advice?
Just make sure you beat them whenever you race together.
I am in the same boat. I find that it is best to just nod in acknowledgement then go on about your way. Basically my body language conveys: "No hard feelings, but don't expect a cheerful 'How ya doin!' " Maybe in the *distant* future we can let bygones be bygones, but I'm not counting on it. Meanwhile I'm moving on with my life.
wasn't there a runnersworld article on this? take it to their message board.
My sister runs, so we were kind of born with a falling out. I never had a problem running with her, but she usually refuses to run with me ever since I became a faster runner than she is. It isn't like I am trying to race her on easy runs, but she always has to be two steps ahead of me, whether she's pushing too hard or not. Once she starts to get tired, she blames me for pushing the pace. The whole thing stresses me out and I wish we could run together like normal people.
Been there. Done that. Got the t-shirt.
I had to break away from a good, solid running group and go on my own for a while because of a personal issue. The guy/gals thought I was being a jerk or something because I didn’t want to run with them. I DID want to, I just couldn't at the time. When I would see them on the trails, they’d ignore me. I’d say hi or whatever and it was as though I didn’t exist. These are 40-60 year olds acting like children. This was almost 2 years ago.
Now, a few weeks ago, I was told by someone from that group that I shouldn’t come back, because it would mess up the chemistry of the group. I was thinking about trying to re-start the friendships but now that makes it tougher.
I miss running with them. It added more of a purpose and commitment to the runs. I’ve been running solo for the last couple years and it’s awfully boring. I’ve got to broaden by scope of friends, I guess.
Lost my best friend and training partner a few months ago. Had a falling out about other relationships. Both of us said some pretty f'ed up stuff. It sucks that people can be so close for so long and then hate each other the next but sometimes things just can't be fixed.
I hope it wasn't over a girl.
You know...
Maybe I am just a respectful person, or maybe I am just a wuss, but I never have these types of things happen to me.
Reading this message board, I always just figured that you people just acted this way b/c it was an anonymous forum. Maybe you really are this mean and judgmental. If so, I wouldn't want to hang out with most of you.
If you have entire groups of people disliking you, maybe it is time to consider brushing up on rules of basic common courtesy.
Don't argue Politics or Religion with people, it never turns out for the better. If you don't have something nice to say, keep it to yourself. There is no sense in ahowing your ass to everyone, it just alienates you.
StrangeMan wrote:
Don't argue Politics or Religion with people, it never turns out for the better. If you don't have something nice to say, keep it to yourself. There is no sense in ahowing your ass to everyone, it just alienates you.
Man, that's mostly what we discussed, and it was all good natured. We had Moderates, Conservatives, and fence sitters. You can't talk about running, and tv everytime you go for a 2 hr run. It was funny; everytime we'd get into a 'heated' discussion, someone would inadvertently pick up the pace. This way, we knew we were getting under his/her skin. It was all good natured stuff.
Bigfoot wrote:
Man, that's mostly what we discussed, and it was all good natured.
Obviously it wasn't, they won't even let you run with them anymore.
Listen, I guess it depends on the situation, but I hope that most of you act differently than you do on this forum.
Could you imagine actually hanging out with someone like Keith Stone if he were a real person? The guy hates everything and everyone.
Not much for company.
Sometimes in life you just have to keep your opinions to yourself.
The way I see it, you can either run with people and hold your tounge on occasion, or run your mouth and run alone.
I think that maybe I have the gene that allows me to gague when enough is enough in an argument. There are many people who do not have that gene, and a lot of those people post on this message board.
I am glad this topic was posted. One of the leaders or captains on our team tends to think he's above everyone else and he's not even the fastest guy on the team. He carries that attitude outside of running and with relationships too with the guys and even with girls. He can't keep a steady girlfriend because they've all realized what a prick he is with major personality flaws. Some of us don't want to associate with him at all because the chicks won't dig us if they see us hanging around him. We might try to give him the boot and don't know how long we'll have him stay as one of the leaders to represent us and our sponsors.
There's only one remedy:
Powerpoint presentation
Only women go through this type of thing. So eigher you have a vagaina, or you have a vagina.
I had a falling out with someone when she got ultra-competitive and it made training a nightmare. I mean, there's competitive, and then there's an obsessional level which didn't do the group any favours.
If my ex-wife Jennifer taught me anything, it's that all relationships end. Badly. Whenever I make new friends, or get new running partners, I always try to get as much information as possible on them over a long period of time, such as SSN's and credit card numbers. Then, when the realtionship goes bad, I'll do something like use their credit card and rent a room at a downtown hotel at lunchtime, and call escort services from the room telephone.
Later, I send the info to their wife, and have my last laugh. I miss Jennifer.
I'd say you guys were not much of best friends to begin with then. One thing I've learned is that running/training partners can make you think that you have more of a friendship than you really have. In other words, eventually you find out that your so called "friendship" was based on only running and not on the values of what a true friendship should be based on.
To avoid any relationship problems in my own running group, I only date women who DO NOT belong to my own running group because then if we break up, then our mutual running friends will start taking sides and then you have internal strife within the runinng group.
Dude are you for real? You are a wussy pussy. I bet you get walked all over in life.
StrangeMan wrote:
You know...
Maybe I am just a respectful person, or maybe I am just a wuss, but I never have these types of things happen to me.
Reading this message board, I always just figured that you people just acted this way b/c it was an anonymous forum. Maybe you really are this mean and judgmental. If so, I wouldn't want to hang out with most of you.
If you have entire groups of people disliking you, maybe it is time to consider brushing up on rules of basic common courtesy.
Don't argue Politics or Religion with people, it never turns out for the better. If you don't have something nice to say, keep it to yourself. There is no sense in ahowing your ass to everyone, it just alienates you.
you are a wussy pussy man wrote:
Dude are you for real? You are a wussy pussy. I bet you get walked all over in life.
..but I bet you are one of those people that thinks they have a bunch of friends, but no one really likes you b/c you always throw your opinions where they are not solicited.
Think about it.
StrangeMan wrote:
You know...
Maybe I am just a respectful person, or maybe I am just a wuss, but I never have these types of things happen to me.
Reading this message board, I always just figured that you people just acted this way b/c it was an anonymous forum. Maybe you really are this mean and judgmental. If so, I wouldn't want to hang out with most of you.
If you have entire groups of people disliking you, maybe it is time to consider brushing up on rules of basic common courtesy.
Don't argue Politics or Religion with people, it never turns out for the better. If you don't have something nice to say, keep it to yourself. There is no sense in ahowing your ass to everyone, it just alienates you.
you are dead on. seems to be a much higher ratio of testosterone-fueled plain jerks in these boards. many of them need to be frequently reminded that they are not truly anonymous when they post.