Sort of depressing life lesson I learned from running

Welcome to reality. Enjoy it while you can.

Listen, your lense is skewed. Doing 'Just okay' in life (if you're living in the US, which I imagine you are) is by all objective measures being really, really comfortable.

The US is laughable in that despite all the talk of fear and doom and gloom and economic collapse you can go out and make ridiculous money without being the top percentile in your graduating class...shoot, unlike the rest of the world, you don't even need a degree here in the US. Go pick up a trade and join a union and outlearn everyone. Go paint houses. Learn PowerBI. Doesn't matter.

Now, it sounds like you're enviable of others who may have it better than you. But who cares? Seriously, who cares? You're living so good. Think about it for a moment.

For years I lived in a country where no one was going to make it. I was earning $650 USD per month and proud of it. And everyone there complained about how unfair life was for us. And some of the poorer Central American countries probably looked at the country I was in and said how unfair it was that life was so good for us and not them, that they were unlucky.

During those times I'd look at the all my friends back in the US complaining online about transfer of wealth and privilege and nepotism and whatnot and think, dang, just shut up for a second. You drive a relatively new car, drink a $7 latte every morning, have a new iPhone, have a house, have some savings. Like, what else do you want?

In the country we were in you sacrificed your life for the next generation to have a chance. That was the endgame.

Anyway, rant over. Go read about the economics of envy and the meaning of utility. Take some pride and accountability in yourself and your actions. Cheers

So I guess this is also part of my point. Just like running, you can have perspective and realize things aren't so bad but there's also an objective standard that is unavoidable. Yes, I have a better living standard than most of the world the same way the 3 hour marathoner is faster than all the people struggling to finish the race. But ultimately it is a competition. Life and running are NOT team sports and the guy who gets the promotion by @$$ kissing is literally eating your lunch. The frustrating thing is there doesn't seem to be much to do about it because, just like people are born with running talent or can dope or do whatever to win, people have different levels of privilege, connection, and personal skills that can just plain outcompete hard work.

I'll offer you some different perspectives to consider. Running doesn't have to be about achievement. For me, it's something that I do because I like to do it. I like the affect it has on my body, mind, and emotions. I like the camaraderie and social opportunities it provides.

If your definition of achievement is PRs (or a specific time in a race), then realize that is actually an infrequent occurrence and a tiny instant of time in the whole span of your running lifetime. You can't always PR. Is everything else a failure or letdown? Did you have fun running?

There can be an immeasurable number of goals & accomplishments if you examine your running from lots of different angles. Sometimes just getting out the door is an achievement that you can be proud of, especially on days when other aspects of your life are causing stress, anxiety, or distractions. Mileage goals, distance goals, days in a row, covering all of the roads in your town, etc. Get creative. You don't even have to come up with new things; it's beneficial to reflect on somewhat mundane things and decide how (even minimally) they can be considered achievements rather than some nihilistic pursuit.

Finally, maybe you need to check the "whoa is me attitude" and decide if you really are putting in enough effort and focus to achieve what you want out of your running. Are you being passive in your training or are you actively examining what works and what doesn't? As they say ... If you want to do something you've never done before, you need to do things you've never done before. Can you increase your mileage? Can you increase the number of days? Can you push yourself to do the workouts you just really don't like? Can you add supplemental strength work? Can you higher a coach?

Also get some running buddies, and drink a few beers with them after a run every once in a while.

This defeatist thought pattern is flawed in numerous ways.

First, you're assuming some sort of single, universal metric for success.

The above view also accepts privilege and politics as determinative—rather than influential. Yes, connections and luck matter, but that doesn’t make effort meaningless.

You're also stating life is not a team sport. But let me tell you something, connections are KING in this world (as you stated above). Networking, mentorship, partnerships, friendships, even sharing training tips or running with a faster buddy, if we're using your metaphor—these are cooperative structures. Reducing life to a zero-sum game ignores the long-term power of mutual support, reputation, and collective success.

In addition, you seem to view life as binary in assuming more success automatically = [more of whatever your definition of utilization is (money/happiness/clout].

One person's “promotion” might be another's “burnout.” That coworker you're jealous of who appears to be benefiting via nepotism may themselves be horrifically unhappy, feeling strangled by the familial expectations and career path they've been forced into. They might be jealous of you and the freedom you've been lucky to be afforded, for all you know.

The person who wins today may be losing tomorrow. Without defining what your finish line looks like, you’ll always be running someone else’s race.

And remember, only one runner is the best. So unless you're that top runner, you'll always want more. And were you to somehow snag that top spot and have fully self-actualized, you'll likely hit one of two realizations: 1) the pressure is too much or 2) The stark realization that most do once they've summited Maslow's hierarchy: It was all worthless, and the only thing that brought you joy was ultimately the journey thereto, the struggle. That's where the beauty is.

I run about 30 miles and sometimes finish 1st at parkrun in 16 minutes. I'm happy with that.

In the past I would run 60 miles every week and not go sub 18.

Work... go self employed.

You’re absolutely right. Just stay inside all day and never put any effort towards anything since you’ll never be in the top x%

Here's your problem - you are judging yourself on society's scale, by society's metrics, and conflating your own worth and ability with what other people do. They are irrelevant to your running. They don't matter. What lessons do you think you learned from running? The greatest lesson you should've learned is that all that really matters is how much you're able to challenge YOURSELF - push yourself, improve yourself, be better than a previous version of yourself. And within that, on any given day, it is wisdom to recognize you were successful if you did everything you possibly could in that race, in that workout.

If you're actually interested in putting yourself in the 1 percent of the 1 percent of people, internalize that lesson and the humility and wisdom that comes with it. Be at peace with exactly who you are, and by that I mean be at peace with the genetic factors you cannot control - and sharpen everything else, mind, spirit, and VDOT, with your running. A lot of people claim to be at peace with themselves, but very few actually are. The second you stop trying to climb the corporate ladder - in the type of corporate environment you're talking about - you're probably going to wind up sticking out as authentic and hard working in the best way. But I would also add that, if you're in the business of lessons, don't waste your life trying to climb a corporate ladder. it's not where happiness lies. You won't lie on your deathbed telling your grandchildren you wished you spent more time in the office on some passionless project.

I'm impressed with how positive people are being! I thought this site was full of miserable people wasting time at work (like me!).

But I'll push back a little on this first part: society is forcing me to be judged by their scale by asking me to pay their bills and live up to their standards. I guess in that way it is different from running because no one forces you to run at a certain level but I do find a strong internal feeling that if I don't maintain a certain fitness level that I'm "wasting my time" running. Again though, the problem with stuff like work is there is no "opt out" or "run your own pace" option. Living in the Western world you are charged rent, taxes, utilities, and that rent is due regularly, so if you are not earning a certain amount, your life going to collections. Just like running, some just naturally find themselves keeping up but if you don't, you're falling behind at an ever increasing rate.

OP, you've just discovered why mankind invented religion millennia ago. People thought to themselves after a miserable existence here on Earth, this can't be all there is to life? Toiling for years on end just to die? So God and the afterlife at least gave them something to look forward to. A meaning to the daily grind and watching good people die far too young through no fault of their own.

So there's two ways you can go with this. One, seek faith that there is indeed a reason for all this nonsense we do an see everyday. Or, just be thankful you're living in objectively the best time to be a human. With all of our relative safety, security (food, housing), life expectancy, medical care, and list goes goes on and on. So even when life sucks, it could have been much much worse. And at least there's that.

Would you like to live your whole life never finding out what you're capable of? You can't determine what your maximum potential is without trying hard. It's scary to do your best and just feel average. That's why many people don't do it.

Maybe this is what's got me feeling so frustrated/unfulfilled. I tried in running and I feel like I've tried in my professional life. I guess others are right that I should be pretty thankful for what I've got but I can't but feeling like my favorite Strokes album "Is this it?"

I remember a big deal in Yachting Magazine on the first private yacht with a helicopter landing pad. Not too long till one was launched with two helicopters.

Enjoy stuff outside of running too. Unless you were like a top d1 runner or close to it, life won't be fulfilling unless you enjoy other things as well. The trick is to have not quite enough fun at those other things that you still run most every day.

650 is probably the monthly pay in a country with $65 rent, correct? And $0.50 lattes? And ladies of the night at $30.00?

I wish! My take home was 50-80% of rent depending upon location and quality. Coffee around $2-4 depending on location. This was a cheap tourism country with massive expat investment which has resulted in staggering home, rent, and food costs for locals. Most people are just trying to get by. (And no idea what a lady of the night costs, sorry)

Just do things for self-satisfaction. Forget about the perks and the accolades. Those are out of your control. Find the satisfaction from within.

FWIW, I did this and do this and it's worked out well.

What you haven’t learned from running, but you should, is that joy is in the process of applying yourself and doing your best. Trying to make small improvements over time. Life is lived in the everyday. Not some point in time achievement that is fleeting.

Sure in another life you could’ve been Mu and an Olympic gold comes easy, but you wouldn’t appreciate it or even care that much. Some of the most unhappy people you will meet a rich because they know lack of money isn’t why they are miserable.

LOL. Cheer up, you only have 5 DECADES of that 9-5er left.