What says "I've given up on life" better than taking up golfing?

Precious Roy wrote:

I ran 2:4X marathons in my 40s. But distance running gets old when all you do is try to keep from getting slower as father time takes over. I play golf now as much as I can. I get to play with my teenage son, which is pretty great considering most of his friends don't want to have anything to do with their parents. I go to the gym and do strength training to help with my golf game. I actually look like a somewhat normal person after putting on some muscle on my upper body (can't do much about my light frame that made distance running my sport).

I do not belong to a country club. I am lucky to have to city courses that are @ $40 for walking on the weekends. One hosts the Houston Open every year.

What would be infinitely more depressing would be trying to hang to what people think is "cool" when the fact is I am a middle aged guy and have no desire or reason to do the whole partying, hanging out at the bars, getting crazy stuff that young people think is the end all. Because it really isn't.

if i could turn back thyme wrote:

The country club and its various eye pollution greens are the final refuge of the desperate white man, who has dedicated his life to following rules made up by his parents or other authority figures, got straight As, got that Ivy scholarship, maybe broke 25:00 in the 8k once but now at age 30 weighs 215 lbs and can't run a 8 minute mile, bought an apt in a gentrifying neighborhood, shot a rifle during his bachelor party, married the first rich girl that was nice to him and cheated on her within the first 24 months, went axe throwing on the weekends for a few years and had but even that got too exciting after a little while, kids on the way now and really it's all about golfing with the partners at the firm...

Is there anything else that says, "I have completely abandoned all aspiration at doing anything meaningful with my existence on earth" quite as much as golf? Here are a few contenders:

Fantasy football

Getting uncomfortably into meats/pig roasts/etc

You're in a haircut club

When your friends and their wives come over now you take their coats (remember it was only about 30 months ago you puked on each other naked at about the 1k mark of a beer mile)

You give tours of your house when people come over

When you talk about an excursion or vacation or event, you phrase it as "we're doing the Hamptons"

Fantasy football

Book club but you ain't read sheeit

What else?

if i could turn back thyme wrote:

The country club and its various eye pollution greens are the final refuge of the desperate white man, who has dedicated his life to following rules made up by his parents or other authority figures, got straight As, got that Ivy scholarship, maybe broke 25:00 in the 8k once but now at age 30 weighs 215 lbs and can't run a 8 minute mile, bought an apt in a gentrifying neighborhood, shot a rifle during his bachelor party, married the first rich girl that was nice to him and cheated on her within the first 24 months, went axe throwing on the weekends for a few years and had but even that got too exciting after a little while, kids on the way now and really it's all about golfing with the partners at the firm...

Is there anything else that says, "I have completely abandoned all aspiration at doing anything meaningful with my existence on earth" quite as much as golf? Here are a few contenders:

Fantasy football

Getting uncomfortably into meats/pig roasts/etc

You're in a haircut club

When your friends and their wives come over now you take their coats (remember it was only about 30 months ago you puked on each other naked at about the 1k mark of a beer mile)

You give tours of your house when people come over

When you talk about an excursion or vacation or event, you phrase it as "we're doing the Hamptons"

Fantasy football

Book club but you ain't read sheeit

What else?

if i could turn back thyme wrote:

The country club and its various eye pollution greens are the final refuge of the desperate white man, who has dedicated his life to following rules made up by his parents or other authority figures, got straight As, got that Ivy scholarship, maybe broke 25:00 in the 8k once but now at age 30 weighs 215 lbs and can't run a 8 minute mile, bought an apt in a gentrifying neighborhood, shot a rifle during his bachelor party, married the first rich girl that was nice to him and cheated on her within the first 24 months, went axe throwing on the weekends for a few years and had but even that got too exciting after a little while, kids on the way now and really it's all about golfing with the partners at the firm...

Is there anything else that says, "I have completely abandoned all aspiration at doing anything meaningful with my existence on earth" quite as much as golf? Here are a few contenders:

Fantasy football

Getting uncomfortably into meats/pig roasts/etc

You're in a haircut club

When your friends and their wives come over now you take their coats (remember it was only about 30 months ago you puked on each other naked at about the 1k mark of a beer mile)

You give tours of your house when people come over

When you talk about an excursion or vacation or event, you phrase it as "we're doing the Hamptons"

Fantasy football

Book club but you ain't read sheeit

What else?

if i could turn back thyme wrote:

The country club and its various eye pollution greens are the final refuge of the desperate white man, who has dedicated his life to following rules made up by his parents or other authority figures, got straight As, got that Ivy scholarship, maybe broke 25:00 in the 8k once but now at age 30 weighs 215 lbs and can't run a 8 minute mile, bought an apt in a gentrifying neighborhood, shot a rifle during his bachelor party, married the first rich girl that was nice to him and cheated on her within the first 24 months, went axe throwing on the weekends for a few years and had but even that got too exciting after a little while, kids on the way now and really it's all about golfing with the partners at the firm...

Is there anything else that says, "I have completely abandoned all aspiration at doing anything meaningful with my existence on earth" quite as much as golf? Here are a few contenders:

Fantasy football

Getting uncomfortably into meats/pig roasts/etc

You're in a haircut club

When your friends and their wives come over now you take their coats (remember it was only about 30 months ago you puked on each other naked at about the 1k mark of a beer mile)

You give tours of your house when people come over

When you talk about an excursion or vacation or event, you phrase it as "we're doing the Hamptons"

Fantasy football

Book club but you ain't read sheeit

What else?

if i could turn back thyme wrote:

The country club and its various eye pollution greens are the final refuge of the desperate white man, who has dedicated his life to following rules made up by his parents or other authority figures, got straight As, got that Ivy scholarship, maybe broke 25:00 in the 8k once but now at age 30 weighs 215 lbs and can't run a 8 minute mile, bought an apt in a gentrifying neighborhood, shot a rifle during his bachelor party, married the first rich girl that was nice to him and cheated on her within the first 24 months, went axe throwing on the weekends for a few years and had but even that got too exciting after a little while, kids on the way now and really it's all about golfing with the partners at the firm...

Is there anything else that says, "I have completely abandoned all aspiration at doing anything meaningful with my existence on earth" quite as much as golf? Here are a few contenders:

Fantasy football

Getting uncomfortably into meats/pig roasts/etc

You're in a haircut club

When your friends and their wives come over now you take their coats (remember it was only about 30 months ago you puked on each other naked at about the 1k mark of a beer mile)

You give tours of your house when people come over

When you talk about an excursion or vacation or event, you phrase it as "we're doing the Hamptons"

Fantasy football

Book club but you ain't read sheeit

What else?