I’m getting increasingly annoyed with a buddy of mine who I perceive as a bit selfish in our relationship and just wondering if it’s just normal friend behavior and I’m reading too much into this or it’s a one sided friendship.
- He’s my gym buddy and I help him out at the gym/ on runs etc by training him (he’s fairly unfit but getting better and I have lifting experience)
- I’ll invite him out to group events, nights out, hikes, travel etc.
- When he travels he’s constantly sending me pics / videos of him having a fun time with locals at a beach bar or doing a cool hike etc. and I always engage / encourage / ask him questions about his trip.
- The thing that probably annoys me the most is I’ll reciprocate by sending him updates when I’m on an interesting trip or traveling (which I would say I do a bit more than him) and he barely engages. His response is typically something like “cool man”. Never asks where I am, what my plans are, etc etc. but he fully expects me to engage with his similar adventures.
- he rarely asks me to go travelling, out to an event etc. to be fair though he’s a self admitted shut in and says he prefers to just be by himself and that’s the nature of his relationship with all his friends (he has to be asked to do something and never wants to do the asking)
- don’t know if he’s ever voluntarily picked up the beer tab etc. like if we’re out occasionally I’ll grab the tan or if we’re in a rush moving to another venue or something but he would never offer. Words he will never say “hey man let me get the beers this time”.
To be fair I think he may be in a little bit of a rut. He hasn’t had a girlfriend for 5 years or so, he doesn’t really like his job or where he lives. But he’d adamant he’s happy and content to just have a nice beer and hang out and relax on his own etc.
So - should I just accept that this is his personality and continue being generous in this relationship by helping a buddy out and acting interested in his life and travels and activities and continue to encourage him to come out and be social etc. or should I reciprocate and just treat him how he treats me and not put myself through analyzing the lopsidedness of the relationship?