MIAC Track 2023

I have a series of predictions that I think everyone can get behind.

5k - Bati goes 1-2-3. Even though Kelly and Bocovich have faster times by wide margins, they will both finish last place in the race.

Steeple - Kelly wins, but he will try WAY harder than he should. I can tell. He will also suffer irreparable mental damage and his girlfriend will break up with him after learning of his marriage pact with Reuben Kosche.

After all of this, power commits sepuku on the medal podium and is replaced by someone far superior, like whoever coached the johnnies to break 1:55 in the 800. Really insane stuff

I’m excited to hear that Arne will be using remaining eligibility to conduct the rare same day 10K/Beer Mile double. Godspeed sir!

He’ll be collecting PR’s and PBRs.

Watch out for DAN WILSON this weekend

You guys are missing the biggest story in the MIAC. Reese Anderson of Carleton PR'd in every event of the decathlon. And he's a distance runner, made it to state in the 3,200. If he continues at this pace, he could become the new Lloyd or Dan Wilson for this fawning MIAC peanut gallery.

Get ready for some wet and wild action at the steeplechase event! With hurdles, water pits, and a group of college kids running around, it's like a frat party gone wrong. But who will come out on top? My money's on the guy who manages to avoid the water pit altogether by jumping straight over it, like a ninja warrior. Or maybe the guy who shows up in a full scuba suit and flippers, ready to tackle any aquatic obstacles. Either way, it's sure to be a splash!

My predictions:
1st place: Reece McKee from Macalester with a shocking time of 8:50.00, breaking the conference record.

2nd place: Emerson Lange from Carleton, who will show up to the race wearing a full suit of armor and carrying a sword, but will still manage to run a solid 9:15.00.

3rd place: Aric Brodie 9:44.9990

4th place: Based on Will Kelly's seed time of 8:58.95 and his previous performances, I predict that he will have a strong showing in the Men's 3000 Meter Steeplechase event at the upcoming conference. Kelly is a junior from St. Olaf and has consistently been one of the top performers in this event. He has the ability to maintain a fast pace throughout the race and has a strong finishing kick. I predict that Kelly will finish in the top 5 and possibly even challenge for the win, with a time in the range of 9:44.9991 to 9:50.00.

Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the most thrilling four minutes of your life - no, its not sex, you'll never last that long, but it is the 1500-meter run! It's the event where runners have to go faster than a snail on roller skates, but slower than a cheetah on sleeping pills. It's the perfect distance for people who aren't quite fast enough for the sprints, but not quite tough enough for the longer races. So grab a seat, get your popcorn ready, and let's watch these runners try to go faster than a squirrel with a stolen acorn!

My predictions:

1st Place: Reece Mckee: With a shocking time of 3:69!, breaking the conference record.

2nd Place: Lloyd Young:
Word on the street is that Lloyd Young is planning to lead his competitors in a surprise military drill during the 1500 meter run. Apparently, he's been practicing his tactical maneuvers with the junior ROTC team, and he's ready to show off his skills on the track. But in the end, he'll inevitably be edged, PAUSE, by Reece Mckee.

3rd Place: Gabe Nichols will accidentally take a wrong turn and end up running a 3000 meter steeplechase instead with a time of 8:49:99 just barely beating Reece Mckee and taking the conference title in the steeple. He will eventually take on the legacy of silly willy and coach DAVE RICKs will once again have his little champ caliber DUDE.

4th Place: Getinat Asfaw will lead the race for 1490 meters but will ultimately decide to drop back to conserve his energy for the open 800, 4 by 800, Steeple, 800 final, 5000, and 4by400.

5th Place: Sean Hartney will forget to tie his shoes and still manage to place 5th.

6th Place: Mitchell Grand will be distracted by the ice cream truck outside the stadium and decide to drop out of the race to get a cone.

7th: Roy Llewellyn will accidentally run into a tree halfway through the race and still manage to finish in the top 3.

8th: Julian Munoz will decide to run the race backwards just for fun, and still manage to finish in the top 10.

Enough talk about the men, BOOHOO SCHMOOHOO, lets talk about the WOMEN, mmmmmm. Get ready to see these ladies run faster than a toddler towards candy! The Women's 1500 is here, and the competition is heating up faster than a microwave burrito. With these athletes putting in more effort than a group of teenagers trying to sneak out of their parents' house, it's anyone's guess who will come out on top. Will it be Fiona Smith with her lightning-fast pace? Or will Mary Blanchard surprise us all and take the gold medal? Either way, we're sure to see some epic moments, hilarious facial expressions, and maybe even a few athletes collapsing at the finish line.

My predictions

1: Sky Theodosopolous is not just any ordinary runner, she's part dinosaur! With her powerful legs and ferocious roar, she's sure to stomp her way to the top of the women's 1500. And if any of her competitors try to get in her way, they better watch out for her sharp teeth and deadly claws! But don't worry, Sky is a friendly dinosaur and won't bite...unless she's really hungry. So, be sure to cheer her on as she runs like a T-Rex towards victory with a time of 4:29!

2: Fiona Smith is tired of winning and lets Sky get the dub because Sky has a cool name. She will use this loss to fuel her for NCAA's.

3: Christine Albrecht is going to run the 1500m so fast that she'll break the space-time continuum and end up competing against dinosaurs in the prehistoric era. But don't worry, her speed and agility will make her stand out and she'll be crowned the queen of the dinosaurs, proving that running isn't just for humans. Unfortunately, in the final stretch Fiona will give her the death glare letting her know that Fiona is fixing this race and only Sky Theodosopolous can win.

4: Hanna Pressier went to the casino the night before and decided to practice ethical gambling. She ended up betting a lot of money for Sky Theodosopolous to win. Was FIONA in on it too?

I hear that Jakob baatrub-sabo legally changed his name to Gabe Nichols

Welcome Macalester to the MIAC thread and welcome back Oles.

Where have the Augsburgers been lately? Knock, Knock, Gustavus are you there?

4x8 teams leaked on wayzata, St. Olaf looks real dangerous

Those 4x8 teams really make you wonder, does Power know something we don't? Are we playing checkers while he's playing chess?

Having met the man, I can confidently say he probably doesn't know how to play either game. It has been said many times on this thread that the Ole successes are in spite of the coaching failings. But, I bet he thought it was cute to enter throwers in the 4 x 800. Hope he's still laughing after losing the MIAC championship again.

Hey NotKevbot, you are doggie water at trolling. You lack creativity and you are also not that cool.

AdoptedTaco those two posts you made on May 9th was probably the least funny thing I have ever read on a MIAC thread. You make NotKevbot look like the premiere comedian of the MIAC by comparison

Bati spotted spiking up for the 5k. Anyone know the miac rules on DNFing? Heard the carls challenged, but evidently he’s being allowed to run

I cannot fathom the travesty of coaching that involves Bati’s career. How can a runner of that level not lap the competition? At one point, I saw him stop to stretch his hamstrings mid race.

And how did the officials allow someone who didn’t finish the 10K and abandoned competition come back to race again in the 5K?

Congrats to St. John's on the win. They really showed the ability to score in all events. If they cared to take Indoor seriously, we could start a Triple Crown conversation, but Papa Miles knows how to win when it really matters.

From a distance standpoint it was great to see Lloyd run down Kelly and the Carls. Nathan capped a strong season with the 800m win and of course the 4 x 800 dominated. Carter Grove showed he'll be a force to be reckoned with on the national scale. I think he beats Kelly at Nationals.

What did everyone think of the the 1500m final only? If the coaches thought it would get national-caliber time by avoiding a final, they were very wrong. Congrats to Mac on the win, but if Calvin, Ian, and Tommy are healthy next Spring expect a much faster race. I fully expect Gabe Nichols to be sub 3:50 by then too.

If St. Johns took indoor seriously, that would be a scary sight to see! They must never take cross country seriously since they never win. How nice of them to let the Carelton or St. Olaf win!

Amidst all the hate towards the Oles it seems appropriate to congratulate Logan Bocovich on his MIAC record 10K. His Nationals race was impressive.

I know he’s not returning next Fall. The Ole Instagram post today showed a lot of XC experience graduating along with him. Someone other than Will Kelly will have to step up next year for the Oles to be relevant.