Any funny math jokes? Tell them here!

This psychological torture was a common tactic of the Spanish Inquisition

An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar.

The first mathematician orders a pint, the second mathematician orders half a pint.

Before the 3rd mathematician can order the barman pours 2 pints and says, "C'mon guys, know your limits".

There are 10 types of people in the world. Those who understand binary, and those who don't.

Why do Americans with high IQ or a great deal of specific knowledge denigrate themselves by referring to themselves as nerds and geeks?

Three squaws were each preparing for the birth of their first child. The first squaw placed a large bear hide by a river, the second squaw placed an elk hide by a tree by a river, and the third squaw placed a
hippopotamus hide by a path, near the river and the tree so that the three formed a triangle.

It just so happens that all three women gave birth on the same day. The first squaw on the bear hide had a 6-lb son, the second squaw on the elk hide had a 8-lb son, but the third squaw on the hippopotamus hide didn’t know her son’s weight, so she wasn’t permitted to place her son on the hide, but the elders nevertheless permitted her to place her own 100-lb body on the hippopotamus hide. Why? Because of the Pythagorean Theorem:

"The squaw on the hippopotamus is equal to the sons of the squaws of the two adjacent hides."

I was talking with a German guy who claimed to be the smartest man in the world. I asked him if he knew the square root of 81. He said, "nein." I am not sure if he is or isn't.

Why are dentists always laughing at college students?

Because they make thousands dealing with calculus while students have to pay for it.

Why is 6 afraid of 7? because 789

what is the square root of 69?
8 something

How many statisticians does it take to change a light bulb?

n

What is it called when an improper fraction joins a proper fraction?

Interratio Dating

Two mathematicians are in a bar. The first one says to the second that the average person knows very little about basic mathematics. The second one disagrees and claims that most people can cope with a reasonable amount of math. The first mathematician goes off to the washroom, and in his absence, the second calls over the waitress. He tells her that in a few minutes, after his friend has returned, he will call her over and ask her a question. All she has to do is answer negative two and one.
She repeats "two and negative one"?
He repeats "negative two and one."
She says, "negative two and one"?
Yes, that's right, he says. So she agrees and goes off, mumbling to herself, "negative two and one."
The first guy returns, and the second proposes a bet to prove his point, that most people do know something about basic math. He says he will ask the blonde waitress to solve a quadratic, and the first laughingly agrees. The second man calls over the waitress and asks, "What are the zeros of x equals the square root of two minus x?".
The waitress says "negative two and one" and, while walking away, turns back and says over her shoulder, "but negative two is extraneous!"

Did you hear about the constipated mathematician?

He worked it out with a pencil.

Mic drop...

Did you create this “joke”?

Why is the contour integral around Germany zero?

Because all the Poles are removable.

Why did the chicken cross the Mobius strip?

To get to the same side.

When someone calls me a nerd I am not offended. It is just a way for someone to acknowledge that I am smarter than them. Why would I care about the opinion of Americans? 4 out of 3 Americans have trouble with fractions.

Why are Halloween and Christmas mathematically equivalent?

Because 31 Octal (aka base 8) =25 Decimal (aka base 10)