Name Two Normal Things You Can't Do

1.) Get a date with the opposite sex

2.) Lose my virginity before age 30

1) Bench Press the bar and 10# plates

2) Keep my palms free of hair

I can’t shuffle a deck of cards or assemble IKEA furniture easily.

“Satisfy” my wife

lol

Support myself

Wipe my butt with my left hand.

Wink either eye.

That's only one thing.....

It's not that the second one is hard to guess.

Skateboard or surf.

Jfc. We knew you were homophonic and transphobic, nice of you to announce your misogyny too.

1. Get a date with the opposite sex

2. Urinate through my pants fly.

OP here, and I suddenly thought of two more things I can't do:

1. I can't just enjoy a meal at a "normal" restaurant like Olive Garden or the Cheesecake Factory. Those kind of restaurants are very popular but nothing on the menu sounds good to me. I might not be able to process that kind of food and I am at that age where I am never that hungry anymore. In college I loved the "all you can eat pasta" but now, I am pretty much full after like one portion of anything.

2. I can't even stand on a skateboard. Even when it is not moving, it seems to throw me off. I see kids riding skateboards and it looks as impossible to me as dunking a basketball or running a four-minute mile.

So the majority of people CAN satisfy your wife or HAVE satisfied your wife?

*Can't stick 2 fingers in my mouth and whistle.

*Can't sneeze only once. They always come in pairs.

Find a guy that can fill in for him

1. Run on a treadmill (too clumsy).

2. Recognize people I haven't met many times. It's a serious problem, which actually has a name--prosopagnosia, or face blindness.

1. run sub 16 5k

2. Pee with my original penis hole

Remain unbothered by the misspellings "moran" and "discus."