How to answer the 'Why?' question

Give up the hobby jogging before it ruins your marriage.

So just stop pushing forward? Not worth it?

I was never able to answer the question myself. I just keep running, it's the start of my 39th year.

Other people in this forum just were wondering why they didn't run in their 30s.

So keep running, that's what we do.

I think you have a pretty good answer right there. For marathoning you have a number of years left to improve, and you're absolutely right about not getting those back. I'm a little older than you and am going through the same thing about fitness in general...I won't ever be able to be as fit as I can be in the next few years, so it's a big motivator for me.

Agree. You just answered your own question.

32 is the wrong age to have an existential crisis. You have to be 18 or 48 for that.

Having the talent and determination to train and improve and run fast marathon times is truly a gift. The process of putting in the work and seeing the results is as satisfying as anything you can do with your time. Non-runner spouses always get jealous and you have to manage that. You do not have to justify your love for running. But you do need to be aware of how much of a time suck it is and make some compromises to keep the wife happy. That may mean doing runs before breakfast or skipping some sessions in the gym (Daniel Wanjiru never lifted weights).

I agree, you have good answers. And I think they are similar to mine. I'm almost a decade older than you, still PRing in the marathon (I wasn't running at 32, though), and also struggling from time to time to keep going. And yet, I'm still going.

I also think these things that we're drawn to and feel are important are very, very difficult to put into words and quantify. They are feelings. Glimmers of feelings you get during a workout at 5:30 in the morning when the sun is rising (or in the rain), or if we're really lucky, during or after a race.

I'm fortunate to have a lot of positive feelings that come from other aspects of my life, too. But with running, for reasons I cannot explain, I am more likely to experience feelings that are closer to euphoric or magical (for lack of a better word) than with any of the other things I do. And I like to chase those feelings. That almost makes me sounds like a junkie. And maybe I am. But those feelings don't come all the time. They are actually quite elusive. I think that makes the chase all the more worthwhile.

Also, I'm a little jealous of your 80-100 mile weeks. I've not been able to get into the 80s yet. Maybe this fall/winter.

Don't listen to this weakling, he can hardly bench 120

You pretty much answered it.

I am (and find most people) are happiest and most productive when striving for a goal, working at that goal, and improving at something.

Ultimately, most everything we do it pointless. 200 years from now or really less no one will care what we did with our time.

Spending time training for a marathon, especially if you are with a group that shares in the goal and you gain a sense of camaraderie is a good use of your time and energy as long as it isn't the only thing you do. It will likely lead you to be more productive in other avenues of your life and be happier.

Because I am going to spend my time drinking and chasing wild women if I don't run.

Sounds like you know exactly why you like it. Tell her exactly this. If you need to sell it, tell her these things make you more satisfied in life, less stressed out, and a better husband/father as a result.

also, if she still doesn't accept the answer. Just quit and take up cycling. She'll see the hours you have to put in there and beg you to go back to running.

A lot of truth in that. It might even work unless she decides to move out and divorce you while you are out one Saturday on your $9000 bike (which she is pissed off about) doing an 80 mile ride. Cycling takes up waaaaaaay more time than running.

The monetary stress of cycling alone is enough to send anyone to divorce court. "Sorry, we have to skip our vacation, I really needed a new set of zipp wheels."

Frankly, I think it's a good question that "serious" runners should all be able to answer honestly. I have found myself obsessing over running and cycling before, and allocating so much time and mind space to it that my relationships and career get squeezed out. For too long, I had a tendency to not think about it and just tell myself that since running and cycling are considered healthy, that this time and effort is automatically well-spent.

It's worth taking a step back to really think about why you run, what you get out of it (if anything), what your family gets out of it (if anything), where the line is between "investing in yourself" and being selfish, and whether there is another satisfying pursuit that has a better ROI.

Time is a scarce resource, and if you're married with kids you share that resource with them.

Ask her the “why” question.

Why doesn’t she shut her pie hole and not to question you.