Need advice......My wife has asked for a divorce after 8 years & we have 2 Kids

not so bitter divorced guy wrote:

You need to speak w/ a lawyer ASAP. I have no idea what you laws regarding divorce, custody, and moving out of state are in CO, but if you do not either, you need to figure that out yesterday. The truth is whether you "let her" or not, you may not have any choice in whether she takes your kids and moves out of state or not. If you and she cannot agree a judge will make that decision.

+1

Lawyer up ASAP

Educate yourself on your state's laws.

No wonder she's dumping you. Your post is glowing with contempt for her. And you're not starting over because you will take your narsty attitude wherever you go! .

disagree.... wrote:

Out-of-Wedlock Danny wrote:

this is seriously one of the best posts to ever grace lr

no one has yet to ask the most important question to OP: OP, how old are the children?

I said this earlier but it didn't get much traction...

Probably because most of us realized this is a troll thread, but there are a few idiots writing long dissertations not realizing they're being trolled so you'd think one of them would have given it "traction".

Do not worry, this happens. You and your wife have a crisis in family life, you just need to survive it. If it’s difficult for you, you should contact a psychologist to advise you on how to survive this difficult period in your life. For example, books helped me in this situation. I read the biographies of famous people and understood that everything can be fixed, life goes on. Try to win your wife again, tell her how you love her. You can send her SMS with words of love https://en.citaty.info/rating/best

Jesus said no to divorce. Work it out, keep your family together.

Matt 9:16

4356ggds wrote:

Jesus said no to divorce. Work it out, keep your family together.

Matt 9:16

_______________________________________

Sorry! That would be Matt 19:6

I am a man.

You have two choices.

1. Get final divorce decree quickly and completely before 10 years of marriage.

2. Have the final divorce be after 10 years of marriage.

Social Security laws entitles either spouse to receive, at their full retirement age, the 50% equivalent of their spouse's full Social Security benefit, if that 50% exceeds their own full retirement.

It does not subtract from your social Security. It is a benefit given to divorced spouses.

Imagine she becomes more successful than you have been.

If you have been married to her for 10 years, and then divorce, and 50% of her social security benefit exceeds your 100%, then Social Security would pay you that benefit.

You can find this information on mysocialsecurity.com.

The second part is the children.

Except for a situation of abuse, any spouse who wants to remove the children from the presence of the other parent does not have the children's best intention in mind.

Emotional maturity is the foundation of success in life.

I will give you one key piece of advice:

Separate immediately.

Do not take the risk of her creating a situation where she can accuse you of being abusive.

Because that is what a woman will do.

I would tell her that the children need the current stable home and their friends.

If she wants to abandon the family she must move out.

That's what I would talk to your lawyer about.

ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS MAKE SURE YOU HAVE A PLACE TO GO IF SHE CREATES A SITUATION.

If I were you I would separate immediately. Because then such a situation does not have a chance to occur.

If you didn't keep doing "this" she wouldn't be "leaving you"

"My wife wants a man that's going to sit on the couch all weekend and watch musicals and love stories, and that just isn't me."

She most definitely does not want a man. This is clearly your issue.

Get an attorney and secure you kids. NOW!

I don’t understand if your wife wants to divorce you, then this is her decision. There is nothing wrong, love passes over time. No one is obliged to live with a soulmate all his life, take this into account. Your wife will build her life without you, and you must get used to living without her. It scares you since you are used to living together. But nothing, find yourself a new girlfriend to forget your wife. For example, here is a site where you can meet beautiful Slavic girls https://slavic-dating.com/ . Do not get bored!

This is a classic"take him to the cleaners" scenario.

The man did well and allowed ole stinky to stay home and have kids.

Then she wanted her own business to pretend she is a business owner.

You need to stand up to her through a great lawyer.

She is thinking you'll be a "good guy" and clean you out.

Get a lawyer quick.

4356ggds wrote:

Jesus said no to divorce. Work it out, keep your family together.

Matt 9:16

"And I will give to you (plural, the Apostles collectively, not just Peter) the keys of the kingdom of heaven: and whatever you shall bind on earth shall be bound in heaven: and whatever you shall loose on earth shall be loosed in heaven."

The Eastern Orthodox Church, that Christ Himself founded and gave the keys of heaven to, permits divorce and remarriage, up to three times, while remaining in Communion with the Church.

Holy SH1T, this just happened to me!

OP- any updates??

ikakjakjshha wrote:

4356ggds wrote:

Jesus said no to divorce. Work it out, keep your family together.

Matt 9:16

"And I will give to you (plural, the Apostles collectively, not just Peter) the keys of the kingdom of heaven: and whatever you shall bind on earth shall be bound in heaven: and whatever you shall loose on earth shall be loosed in heaven."

The Eastern Orthodox Church, that Christ Himself founded and gave the keys of heaven to, permits divorce and remarriage, up to three times, while remaining in Communion with the Church.

I thought this was a joke until I looked it up. The one thing schismatics have in common is their acceptance of divorce.

Deep Ends wrote:

It's not wrote:

It's not. SAHMs like to pretend it's a job because they don't want to acknowledge their laziness. Guys married to a SAHM don't want to admit to themselves that their wives are taking advantage of them.

This depends enormously on whether there are children involved. Staying at home to do the laundry and wash some dishes is indeed not very taxing. Staying at home to keep up with 2 or more kids who need care, guidance, meals, cleanup, education, discipline, entertainment, ... every single minute of the day can be substantially more challenging than most "real" jobs.

Yes, this. 2 or more kids and the above is hell on earth for anyone with a few brain cells (and used to working and having their own life). The screaming, the constant need for attention, the potty calls, cleaning, need to keep them busy... the sheer boredom of doing basic tasks all day long for two kids nearly drove me crazy when I had a brief stint at home between jobs. Never believed the wife until then. It is MUCH, MUCH easier to have a 'normal' full-time job. Only someone who hasn't been there can say it isn't..very obviously! I personally ran back to work, deliriously happy to be away from it all. It drove me nuts. Love the bedtime 'tuck-in', and I love my kids...they were just little horrors to deal with all day long when young. It caused all sorts of problems for us until the kids became a little more independent. I will say that there is no real excuse for her to at least pick up a part time job to help out, when the kids are older. Sounds like the OP has young kids, though (and the wife is attempting to make some sort of her own money...around a third of yours even...which is good given the young kids).

Also - keep in mind - you're no angel mate (don't paint yourself as one..you sound a bit like a 'judgy' type..maybe she reacts negatively to your constant criticism, and simply can't stand it anymore..). She clearly isn't an angel either, as you've illustrated so well. Maybe you're just not suited to each other.

Either way, I hope you can sort it out for the kids and yourselves, and you can turn this in to a happy ending. Good luck.

jonnyjinlondon wrote: She clearly isn't an angel either, as you've illustrated so well. Maybe you're just not suited to each other.

Either way, I hope you can sort it out for the kids and yourselves, and you can turn this in to a happy ending. Good luck.

Yes, and because of all of that, the way forwards is to get your wife a good mastering. If you arrange a good cVck to keep her happier and more satisfied in the bedroom then she will be much more amenable and cooperative and will support the fam endeavors. Life will be soooo much better for both of you.

It's best if you arrange a hotel room to get her blaQQed while you take the kids for a couple of hours. This plan will show her your dedication and understanding in the most convincing way possible.

disagree.... wrote:

Out-of-Wedlock Danny wrote:

this is seriously one of the best posts to ever grace lr

no one has yet to ask the most important question to OP: OP, how old are the children?

I said this earlier but it didn't get much traction...

Has anyone who's grown up in a household where the parents clearly weren't in love, were possibly fighting a lot, etc. grown up and been glad they stayed together?

I’ve been going through this thread and was waiting for someone to say this.

DO NOT STAY TOGETHER ‘FOR THE KIDS.’

If you don’t love each other, resentment and anger will start to brew. I grew up wishing, almost BEGGING my parents to get a divorce. It was a horrible childhood filled with two people who clearly disliked each other but forced us all to live together under the same roof for ’our’ sake. I eventually left home for college and barely visited them. It took years to repair our relationship together.

If you want to think of the kids, realize that a marriage between two people who dislike each other is not beneficial in any way. You will be teaching them that it is normal to have screaming matches and potential abuse in a relationship. You may scar them for life.

Wow. That was beautiful!