My live in girlfriend of 7 years not invited to join family potrait

societal norms wrong you are wrote:

A spin on the original scenario: What if the OP was in a committed gay relationship and wants to get married, but the state he resides in does not allow gay marriage. Should the significant other be allowed in the family photo?

As a guy with a gay sister, what typically happens in this scenario is that the couple either gets married elsewhere, or has a marriage ceremony with family. So they are considered married in the eyes of the family. OP's mother would probably be happy with something like that...

What we need to know here is why the OP doesn't want to get married. There is a reason. Has it been mentioned?

she aint got no get yet wrote:

question 2

does this mean everyone in heaven is single?

thank you in advance for your replies

According to the Bible, yes, that's what it means:

Matthew 22:23-33 That same day the Sadducees, who say there is no resurrection, came to him with a question. 24 “Teacher,” they said, “Moses told us that if a man dies without having children, his brother must marry the widow and have children for him. 25 Now there were seven brothers among us. The first one married and died, and since he had no children, he left his wife to his brother. 26 The same thing happened to the second and third brother, right on down to the seventh. 27 Finally, the woman died. 28 Now then, at the resurrection, whose wife will she be of the seven, since all of them were married to her?” 29 Jesus replied, “You are in error because you do not know the Scriptures or the power of God. 30 At the resurrection people will neither marry nor be given in marriage; they will be like the angels in heaven. 31 But about the resurrection of the dead—have you not read what God said to you, 32 ‘I am the God of Abraham, the God of Isaac, and the God of Jacob’? He is not the God of the dead but of the living.”

Luke 20:27-40 Some of the Sadducees, who say there is no resurrection, came to Jesus with a question. 28 “Teacher,” they said, “Moses wrote for us that if a man’s brother dies and leaves a wife but no children, the man must marry the widow and have children for his brother. 29 Now there were seven brothers. The first one married a woman and died childless. 30 The second 31 and then the third married her, and in the same way the seven died, leaving no children. 32 Finally, the woman died too. 33 Now then, at the resurrection whose wife will she be, since the seven were married to her?” 34 Jesus replied, “The people of this age marry and are given in marriage. 35 But those who are considered worthy of taking part in that age and in the resurrection from the dead will neither marry nor be given in marriage, 36 and they can no longer die; for they are like the angels.66 They are God’s children, since they are children of the resurrection. 37 But in the account of the bush, even Moses showed that the dead rise, for he calls the Lord ‘the God of Abraham, and the God of Isaac, and the God of Jacob.’ 38 He is not the God of the dead, but of the living, for to him all are alive.” 39 Some of the teachers of the law responded, “Well said, teacher!” 40 And no one dared to ask him any more questions.

Mark 12:18-27 Then the Sadducees, who say there is no resurrection, came to him with a question. 19 “Teacher,” they said, “Moses wrote for us that if a man’s brother dies and leaves a wife but no children, the man must marry the widow and have children for his brother. 20 Now there were seven brothers. The first one married and died without leaving any children. 21 The second one married the widow, but he also died, leaving no child. It was the same with the third. 22 In fact, none of the seven left any children. Last of all, the woman died too. 23 At the resurrection whose wife will she be, since the seven were married to her?” 24 Jesus replied, “Are you not in error because you do not know the Scriptures or the power of God? 25 When the dead rise, they will neither marry nor be given in marriage; they will be like the angels in heaven. 26 Now about the dead rising—have you not read in the book of Moses, in the account of the bush, how God said to him, ‘I am the God of Abraham, the God of Isaac, and the God of Jacob’? 27 He is not the God of the dead, but of the living. You are badly mistaken!”

We all get the inside LetsRun joke. You're still stupid for perpetuating it.

U R D BIGGEST IMBECILE wrote:

Welcome to LetsRun, NEWBIE!

Your welcome, Imbecile!

Therein lies the problem. Your girlfriend is not your wife. You fail to recognize this simple fact. Therefore there's no use in continuing this discussion. Girlfriend < Wife. I know you say love her and you've been together 7 years but if you can't make a commitment to her, she's less than a wife. Does your state allow different-sex domestic partner relationships? Go register as one. Your mom is drawing a line in the sand. Whether it's fair or not is a matter of opinion, but you cannot use this situation to compare your GF to a wife. You can't even make a commitment to her.If you are seriously injured, your girlfriend cannot make any medical decision on your behalf. Your family could even choose to bar her from visiting you.If you die, she will receive none of your assets unless they are jointly held.

so what's a family wrote:

If your wife was treated my this I am sure you would do the same.

.

Stupid is as stupid does wrote:

We all get the inside LetsRun joke. You're still stupid for perpetuating it.

U R D BIGGEST IMBECILE wrote:

Welcome to LetsRun, NEWBIE!

Your welcome, Imbecile!

INCORRECT on all counts. The person to whom I was replying CLEARLY DID NOT KNOW.

Hence, you are wrong. By extension, you are stupid.

Ummmm...ever heard of a will?

I can never tell if folks like this are going for the humor angle when they cite bible verses as if this is some sort of authoritative guide to magic land.

So, joking? Or no?

800 800 dude wrote:

I can never tell if folks like this are going for the humor angle when they cite bible verses as if this is some sort of authoritative guide to magic land.

So, joking? Or no?

Sort of, but not the way you're thinking. My point was that people who claim to be religious should actually know the tenets of their own religion. I thought it funny that the previous (apparently religious) poster was posing the same rhetorical question than shows up three places in the bible as an illustration of people who just don't get it.

But I agree with your general point: Unless you're arguing with someone who actually accepts the bible as moral authority, then citing verses at them is a just masturbatory exercise.

so whats a family wrote:

My mom decided to have a formal family portrait done. We have not had one in about 15 years. She plans to include my siblings and their significant others (one sibling with a spouse and one who is engaged) but doesn't want my live in girlfriend included. I'm annoyed because my girlfriend is family even though we are not married. We have lived together for seven years!

My mom says she would be included if we were engaged. I'm thinking of calling mom back and telling her I'm not going if my girlfriend is not included.

I'm sure my dad doesn't care, but my mom is an idiot.

Have you thought about telling your mom you won't look relaxed if your girlfriend isn't included.

so whats a family wrote:

My mom decided to have a formal family portrait done. We have not had one in about 15 years. She plans to include my siblings and their significant others (one sibling with a spouse and one who is engaged) but doesn't want my live in girlfriend included. I'm annoyed because my girlfriend is family even though we are not married. We have lived together for seven years!

My mom says she would be included if we were engaged. I'm thinking of calling mom back and telling her I'm not going if my girlfriend is not included.

I'm sure my dad doesn't care, but my mom is an idiot.

I'm not 100% sure that this is a serious post, but sorry, girlfriends do NOT get to be part of the official family portrait. Decide it is just paper or not, but even with divorce hovering at the 50% level, boyfriends and girlfriends break up even more often, so who wants to have her in the photo if you break up in a month?

Marry her and she can be in the photo. Your mother is correct.

I read the first couple of pages of posts and the last couple of pages...

How about you take MORE THAN one photo?!? One with her, one without.

I sometimes wonder how people make it through the day...

societal norms wrong you are wrote:

My opinion is that a long-term monogamous relationship between two people (*not a friendship*) is morally equivalent to a marriage, but does not have the benefits of being legally married. My advice to long-term couples is get married. This does not excuse the behavior of the OPs mother.

A spin on the original scenario: What if the OP was in a committed gay relationship and wants to get married, but the state he resides in does not allow gay marriage. Should the significant other be allowed in the family photo?

"Morally equivalent"?!? WTF does that even mean?

Besides which you appear to be looking in the wrong direction. Citing a "long-term monogamous relationship" is about looking in the past (otherwise, what is the point of "long-term"?). Marriage is about the future.

Old D2 Guy wrote:

I read the first couple of pages of posts and the last couple of pages...

How about you take MORE THAN one photo?!? One with her, one without.

I sometimes wonder how people make it through the day...

Well, usually I start with breakfast. That is, if my wife was not in the mood for something more fun to start the day. Anyway, after breakfast, I'll shower and get dressed before going to work.

Work will often take me to 6 pm or so. Then it is time to come home for dinner and hopefully a little more fun.

Lights out around 10 pm or so. Sleeping's easy and takes up about a third of the day without me having to do much of anything.

Simple Enough Really wrote:

Old D2 Guy wrote:

I read the first couple of pages of posts and the last couple of pages...

How about you take MORE THAN one photo?!? One with her, one without.

I sometimes wonder how people make it through the day...

Well, usually I start with breakfast. That is, if my wife was not in the mood for something more fun to start the day. Anyway, after breakfast, I'll shower and get dressed before going to work.

Work will often take me to 6 pm or so. Then it is time to come home for dinner and hopefully a little more fun.

Lights out around 10 pm or so. Sleeping's easy and takes up about a third of the day without me having to do much of anything.

Touché.

My dad saved the day!But before I explain what happened let me say that your post was right. This is much more than just a picture. What my mom didn't get is that if any member of our family told me that they loved someone and considered them family than I would respect that and accept them as family too. I don't care if they were gay living together or if there were other circumstances, I would accept them.My dad came through and saved the day. He called my girlfriend and told her that they (my parents) were being old fashioned and of course they love her and really want her in the portrait. My girlfriend asked him if my mom felt the same way and he told her she does.My girlfriend feels welcomed and I feel happy. The portrait is on!End of story.

webby wrote:

Nobody seems to understand that the affront is not that your girlfriend was almost not allowed to be in a stuffy family photo, the affront was your mother saying that your girlfriend has lower status because you and she is unmarried. Saying, "She can be in our family photo against my will if it's the only way to get you to come," does not address the (only) issue of importance.

To summarize: A sincere apology is the only way to address the issue. A reluctant change in policy doesn't help.

Don't expect the vocal conservative Family Values majority of LRC to ever expect a person to adapt to changing cultural norms. To Robert and his peers, you must act like the Cleavers or you should politely live with the backlash of mainstream intolerance.

The Next Client wrote:

You need to get your OWN family portrait done. Include her for your own picture. Make sure you book the same photographer and have everyone come over to your place immediately after to repeat the same routine.

Make sure you tell your mom that you want her to wear something nicer than what she wore for her own pictures.

This is genius, headed for the Jerry Springer show...

You're an idiot. It's not YOUR family portrait. It's your MOM's. You consider her to be a member of YOUR family but that doesn't necessarily make her a member of your mother's. It's not an insult to think that way especially if there is no blood relationship. Grow up.

No.

I'm pointing out that his claim was mistaken.

Marriage is not an "absolute and permanent commitment" when the marriage ends in divorce the majority of the time (though only one instance of divorce would be needed to make the claim "marriage is an absolute and permanent commitment" false).

The fact that you're getting so worked up over some thread like this on a running message board seems to indicate that you are the one who needs to grow up.