Seeking advice on raising high level athletic children

Slik Rik · 2022-01-17T14:26:57-05:00

Raising kids is harder than I thought. Yeah almost anyone can keep kids alive but its hard to "do the right thing" or even know what the right thing is. To start, neither me or my wife were extremely good sports growing up. I think we both have natural athleticism but we didn't have an upbringing that capitalized on getting the most out of it. I would love for my kids to be the best at something, maybe even earn a scholarship. I'm not trying to force them into any one sport but I hope to find something they have some natural ability in and then work at it. I have two boys ages 6 and 8. The youngest has totally dominated his given sport so far and the older one has shown some signs of being good at certain sports. I do encourage and tell them good game but I don't act like anything special is happening. I feel the greats at any sport had parents that didn't give accolades easily and that fuels some of the drive. My wife has a default from her raising that you cheer for lacing up your cleats. They mean well but I think that is a form of participation trophies. I believe cheering for things that I see as expected/routine creates a huge problem when the kid faces adversity...If a kid gets used to being celebrated for any and everything they respond poorly when they get beat or have a bad play. I don't believe many high level athletes come from environments like this...maybe I'm wrong though. Both of my kids love to play almost anything so motivation isn't a problem at the moment. Those of you that have done D1 things or been really close to D1 environments. How were your parents? Do you wish they were different looking back?

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4 years ago 01/21/2022 4:27pm EST

re: Slik Rik

Slik Rik wrote:
dopedgills13 wrote:
most of our superstar athletes in the usa didnt even have father figures growing up. It's honestly rare for a star nba/nfl player to have a dad in their life.
Two GOATs... Michael Jordan and Tiger Woods. Both very much influenced by fathers in the home.

MJ didn't play on expensive traveling teams, have personal coaches paid for by helicopter parents, and did not specialize in one sport like a lot of parents push their kids to do.

MJ also had insane genetics. Enormous hands, a 48 vertical. Incredible court vision. Try and coach your kids to do that OP! I am 100% convinced he could have grown up in a crack house and made his way to the NBA. Cope all you want, but you can stress all you want about making your kids athletes, but the kids growing up in foster homes with a 48 inch verticals will dominate your kids 100% of the time anyways.

4 years ago 01/21/2022 4:29pm EST

re: Slik Rik

Slik Rik wrote:
Nat Hickey wrote:
I really do not understand people who read something someone has written and then decide the writer meant something else, something the writer did not say. How did you conclude that I said what you think I said? Do you want me to comment on Arch Manning? Assuming you do I'll just say that neither of us knows what would have happened to him if he grew up with a single mom in a trailer park. He might have needed to drop out of school to work and never gotten into football. Or he could have gotten into football and been as good or even better than he is now but no matter what the outcome was it means nothing relative to what will happen with your kids.
I think you are admitting to the fact that what goes on in the home of a child can influence what happens with the child's future. I think we can both agree that is a fact.
Given that fact. I don't see how seeking advice from people who have had athletic success is a waste of time. Like learning from others to consciously change my behaviors so that I might get closer to a desired outcome is some kind of insanity. Seems like people think I'm playing god or something by trying to push my kid a certain direction. I think its called parenting unless I have gone insane.

Whenever anyone on LR asks a question related to parenting or helping a runner, there are always several posters who come in screaming about horrible abusive moms or dads and how even trying to figure out how to be a support means you are a monster. It doesn’t matter what the OP says, their take is the same.

They have issues and I think it best to just wholesale ignore them.

4 years ago 01/21/2022 4:46pm EST

re: Slik Rik

What goes on in the home of a child can influence what happens in the child's future? In other news, it's dark at night. Of course what goes on in the home influences a child's future. But it is not possible to know how that influence will play out over the years. So yes, trying to get anything more than a desired outcome for your kids can kind of flirt with something resembling insanity if you're trying for an outcome that's years in the future. And even if you get the desired outcome you have no way of knowing if doing so is a good or bad thing. Have things like being good and happy people as your desired outcome and don't get much more specific than that. If your kids enjoy a sport help them be good and happy people by helping them get better at that sport and to enjoy if for the present. Let the long term future find it's way to them.

4 years ago 01/21/2022 6:31pm EST

re: Slik Rik

Slik Rik wrote:
dopedgills13 wrote:
most of our superstar athletes in the usa didnt even have father figures growing up. It's honestly rare for a star nba/nfl player to have a dad in their life.
Two GOATs... Michael Jordan and Tiger Woods. Both very much influenced by fathers in the home.

Slick Ric, where have you been the last four days?

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