HS XC Coach texts my 15-year old daughter - should I put a stop to it?

Suggest to the coach that he use the Remind app. Coaches and athletes should not have each other's phone numbers.

TrackCoach wrote:

I believe 99% of coaches would never be inappropriate with an athlete.

That's what every coach who's a sexual predator says.

Find out school policy.

Dad Concerned wrote:

Not sure what to do here. My daughter is 15 and runs XC. She is probably the number 3 girl on the team and best of her class. The coach is young, probably 24. He is constantly texting my daughter, especially at night. While I haven't actually read the texts, I don't understand why they are texting back and forth so much. I don't want to be an over-bearing parent but I am irked by the coach texting my daughter.

Any parents have experience with this?

As a Coach of 17+years and one who has had many very talented girls teams over the years, I think this is completely inappropriate. I would however go directly to the coach to discuss it. Hopefully it is nothing, but it still needs to stop. Most likely your daughter is probably uncomfortable with the texts as well. Just talk to her. My daughter was a little creeped about college coach texting and messaging her. I've checked and it is purely athletic discussion. Never appropriate on the HS level though.

thejeff wrote:

Suggest to the coach that he use the Remind app. Coaches and athletes should not have each other's phone numbers.

IT IS 2017. The world doesn't work that way. As a coach you put your number out there so athletes, parents, teachers etc... can get a hold of you. Some of you people are insane or must live in terrible areas.

You're all so dumb! If there was actually something going on with them it would be happening on Snapchat or kik. Kids that age don't get caught through texting anymore. Bunch of old fools!

KikSnap wrote:

You're all so dumb! If there was actually something going on with them it would be happening on Snapchat or kik. Kids that age don't get caught through texting anymore. Bunch of old fools!

I came three times reading this thread; once thinking about Coach, twice thinking the 15-year-old. I just turned 18 myself so it's good both ways!

This is the craziest sh!t I've ever read. Why is it appropriate let alone necessary for a high school coach to even have an athletes number.

Granted I graduated 10 years ago and cell phones have become more 'utilized' with younger groups in that time, but there was never any communication with coaches and athletes via phone; and why would there need to be, holding practice five days a week doesn't provide enough time for this coach to shed his wisdom that he finds it necessary to text in the evening hours. Something is fishy buddy.

you failed your child as a parent that is why she's texting him back in the first place

I was just notified that the doctor for our school physicals will not be able to meet the team at 9:00 this morning as scheduled. Instead he will be there at 11:00. I texed the entire team fifty-fifty (51) of them in group texts. Things like this, meets cancelled, workout locations & time changes are why I use texting . Individual texts are when an athlete has a breakthrough race or a meltdown. The college aged kids have come to expect and like this. I have had a few during my career that have tried to blur the lines, but that was quickly put to rest. Not sure where one poster stated 20% on men are predisposed for that, but the research shows it is closer to .05% . When you take into consideration that less than 1 in 1000 are coaching you can see that the percentage is extremely low, but those caught should be crucified.

It's not uncommon for conscientious coaches these days to use texting as a way to communicate about practices, training, reminders to ice or stretch, or just give positive feedback or praise. You need to read the texts to see what's being sent.

Washubutt wrote:

This is the craziest sh!t I've ever read. Why is it appropriate let alone necessary for a high school coach to even have an athletes number.

Granted I graduated 10 years ago and cell phones have become more 'utilized' with younger groups in that time, but there was never any communication with coaches and athletes via phone; and why would there need to be, holding practice five days a week doesn't provide enough time for this coach to shed his wisdom that he finds it necessary to text in the evening hours. Something is fishy buddy.

you failed your child as a parent that is why she's texting him back in the first place

You are way out of line and out of touch. I was very thankful my daughter's coach texted her to remind her to ice her ankle before bed or to hydrate before a hot race. You need to understand that not everyone is a boogeyman and you aren't the savior.

Send a mass email to anyone under age 35 and see if it ever gets read. It won't.

You guys are nuts. Evey interaction isn't a creep trying to get laid.

180 troll thread, this one really hit all the right notes.

Vladimir wrote:

Individual texts are when an athlete has a breakthrough race or a meltdown.

Texting young girls about meltdowns is definitely getting way too involved.[/quote]

Not sure where one poster stated 20% on men are predisposed for that, but the research shows it is closer to .05% . When you take into consideration that less than 1 in 1000 are coaching you can see that the percentage is extremely low, but those caught should be crucified.

You must be referring to the one out of twenty men who've been found to be pedophiles, which is 5%, or 50/1000, and obviously a low estimate as those are only the ones who are known, and who prey on children less than 14 years of age.

The percentage of sexual predators coaching high school kids, as they seek out associations with young people, would likely be much higher then that. I don't know why you'd offhandedly assume there are no predators in coaching, unless you're trying to divert attention away from your own activities. That this happens should be of major concern and attention.

Paying attention to issues wrote:

Vladimir wrote:

Individual texts are when an athlete has a breakthrough race or a meltdown.

Texting young girls about meltdowns is definitely getting way too involved.

How is that way too involved? You guys don't understand the situations of the world these days. I've had runners have complete melt downs after good or bad days or days where there are injuries. A good majority of the time they come from stable homes and you touch base with the parents, give them a heads up and that's it. Sometimes unfortunately the parents are worthless or make it worse. Kids like that need to know someone is looking out for them and wants them to be successful. Obviously as a coach you have to be smart, cover yourself, etc.. But if you aren't doing anything wrong and there is no way in can hurt you, it's your fricking job to try to help these kids. Teachers do the same things. Some of us take our job seriously. I've had kids that if I didn't keep communication with they would have dropped out of school and probably be big into drugs and drinking. Instead one of those girls is running in college, doing great and is a leader on her team.

If that is way too involved then I guess I don't know how to coach any other way.

There is a major difference between coaching and over involvement. Coaches have an obligation to deal with all issues that involve the team. Yes all walks of lives can be abusers, but I my very coaches have also been some of my friends. I wouldn't think of going clubbing with them, but after I left high school I would make contact with my old coach when I had a good race or a new job. Coaches are mentors and role models for many of us.

Is this him?

https://goo.gl/images/kvdtsK

Trying to cover up eh wrote:

TrackCoach wrote:

I believe 99% of coaches would never be inappropriate with an athlete.

That's what every coach who's a sexual predator says.

Coached for 21 years at every level (youth, MS, HS, NCAA and elite) and never had one athlete or parent say or even insinuate I was ever inappropriate in a sexual way. In fact, I've worked with at least 100 coaches and I have only dealt with one situation where I felt a coach was inappropriate. In that one situation, the coach was an unvetted volunteer and was dealt with in a way that allowed the athlete and coach to move forward without issue. FTR, that particular athlete was an equal partner in what I considered some inappropriate comments. Over the years, my problem has been with coaches you getting involved with the parents of athletes. The average male adult coach has no sexual interest in young female athletes -or at least they are not stupid enough to touch the 3rd rail. In my NCAA coaching, I have seen some young coaches who appeared to relish the ego stroking when an athlete flirted with them, but they usually handled those situations appropriately when it went beyond an errant comment.

With all of that said, completely forget about my percentage because I just threw that out to help make a point. I am fully aware that there are bad people out there. A H.S. coach in my district was convicted of multiple counts of statutory rape. He was an outliers, I simply don't believe a predator is lurking behind every rock. In terms of night time texting between a coach and athlete, on the surface it does not seem appropriate and needs to be dealt with. However, the reason why I suggest don't go directly to trying to get the young coach fired is it could simply be ignorance and carelessness as opposed to suggesting the guy is a sexual predator. I employ millennials and even high school kids over the summer and what I've learned is they have a completely different understanding of proper communications than people my age do. I have had to tell young people not to text me all times of the night. I can tell you for a fact that young person don't give a second of thought about texting me at night related to work. Btw, as former long time coach, I tend to advocate for coaches because the vast majority are good guys.

You sure do like being around kids, huh?