My Top 10 Tips for Marathon

52. Don't even think of running a marathon if you can't break 3

9. If you were born at high altitude put down that EPO. It will have no effect whatsoever on you

10. Tell your​ doping team mates to also put down their EPO syringes. It's clearly not working for them.

Going sub 2 for the 'thon does not make you elite. Out down that EPO tabs sonny.

I can't stop LAUGHING!!!!!

You guys are the BEST!!! These posts are freakin' AWESOME!!!!

Rock ON!!!!!!!

1. My best advice, if you get to somewhere around mile 9-10 and start struggling at that point...

Quit.

Walk off the course in shame and ignominy. Get the hell out of there!

And just admit that you really, really suck as a runner.

Which you do, by the way. Totally. I mean, you're awful. An embarrassment to the running community.

Seriously. No one likes you, and no one thinks you should even be trying this marathon crapola. So stop it. I mean, are you not even aware that none of us are even following you on Facebook anymore because of this?

Oh, and your socks didn't stay up, either. Sock fail. Goodness.

Maybe you should try something else. Like race walking.

102. If you get an injury before your race and you decide to quit then you are a wussy! It's better to go the distance then to wait for your injury to heal!!

try to read this thread in the quiet section of my library was a terrible idea

10/10, dying

150. make sure to quadruple knot your shoe laces before the marathon. Also be sure to wear your New Years Eve glasses and wear a Dallas Cowboys jersey and walk up to anyone saying "WE ARE DA BEST AND YOU CAN EAT ME NEXT".

10/10 nice job trolls of LRC

Tip. 26.2a chapter 11

One month before 'thon go on Amazon and buy all marathon and running books you can afford. Also, purchase best heavy duty juicer you can afford.

Instead of reading all the excellent advice in these books it's a better idea to internalize this information. Add random pages to a daily fruit and vegetable concoction with your new Nutri Bullet juicer. The added fiber will also help clean you put before your runs.

You might want to add some pages from a girly magazine if you have low a T. Levels.

If you are a female runner disregard the above step.

Also, avoid any running books on nutrition as these might cause ingestion.

MAGA

2546.

Disregard earlier tips about bodyglide, etc. Do not use any lubricant unless it is to hook up with the single hobbyjogger mom you heroically help cross the finish line. Instead, let the blood flow from your nipples and crotch area. It will impress your dad and he'll finally let you come home for the first time in 21 years because of how impressed he is with your manliness

Dude!!!

Seriously? You have a lot of heavy duty credentials with regard to "Book Smarts" about running but something is missing. My question is how can you talk, write, preach, consult, coach, etc....... about something that you've never done? Who can take you seriously? So work with me and the other 200+ posts on this site for a minute. PLEASE list your PR's (Personal Records) or PB's (Personal Bests) for ANY DISTANCE!! 400, 800, 1500, Mile, etc.........

This thread: GOAT!

He is apparently a Sandy Eggo area guy (per the bio and contact phone numbers area code), and has a degree from Penn, so some PA races.

The althlinks profile for an early 40's year old Jason Karp has him at multiple 5Ks in the 19-20 minute range. It appears there is an Erie Marathon on Sept 13th, 2015 at 3:58:30, but that runner's age is listed at 47 in contrast to the early 40's ages for the San Diego runs.

On 1/19/14 there's an 18:30 Carlsbad 5000, and there's a Carlsbad Marathon at 3:27:44 and a 11/3/13 NYC Marathon at 3:28:16.

I stopped looking when I found a 5/31/2009 San Diego Rock N Roll Marathon for a 36 year old Jason Karp at 2:59:18.

No confirmation if they are his times, they are largely "Not Claimed."

My Pr's are:

400- 42.6

800- 1:42

1,000- 1:18

1600- 3:43

3200- 8:24

5k- 12:36

10k 27:34

Half- 57:21

Marathon- 2:03

I should also mention that I abstain from sex every third leap year and conduct very informative running seminars on "Racing on Pure Hate."

Don't typically have capacity filled rooms however for this type of approach.

Not many hardcore runners willing to give total commitment to the sport and want shortcut programs like NOP.

MAGA

Dude, the guy is listed as an assistant Cross Country coach at San Diego State. Just google him, include PhD in the search terms. Not that hard.

He's in his early 40's, he's legitimately a runner but not particularly fast, judging from his Athlinks profile. Yes, like many bloggers, his accomplishments are somewhat exaggerated. Ho hum.

But this thread stopped being about Jason like 5 pages ago. It has now taken on a life of its own.

53. Hold Your Breath.

Studies have shown that running a marathon is 99% aerobic and 1% anaerobic. In practical terms, this means that for the vast majority of the race your breathing should not be hard or labored. Novices and elites alike struggle with this concept, which can cause much mid-race stress. The easiest way to overcome the tendency to over breathe is to not breath at all. I instruct all of my athletes to initiate hyperventilation at least 5 minutes before the start by taking rapid deep breaths. This increases lung capacity and oxygen uptake at a cellular level. When the gun goes off, simply take one final deep breath and start running. Do not take another breath until you cross the finish line, aerobic and worry free!

Stay tuned for more tips!