Best retaliation to getting yelled at while running

Make the Sign of the Cross at them, then take down their plate number and report the event as an attempted assault with a motor vehicle.

Gav800

Say any of those to me and I'll break your nose. See if you think its funny then.

Hey sauce, your mom gives terrible head

HAHAHAHAHHAHA! This is the funniest thread ever. I loved "tuffbuffs" story. I've had my fair share of shit said to me too. It's funny though. I am the kind that when this stuff happens, I think of a lot of funny things to do, but keep my mouth shut cause I don't know how many are in the car. One time, I had just finished a tempo run and by an ELEMENTARY school and three or four native kids asked if I wanted to fight!? Here I am leaning over gasping for air thinking what I could've done to them to deserve this. I just got in my car and left, I wish I had more balls. I would love to run away with someones's sideview mirror or show them the "ol brownhole". Us runners HAVE to say something back because if we don't, people are gonna keep saying shit to us. I gotta go for a run now. Hopefully people say shit to me and I can use some of your ideas to take out my anger on them. Happy running.

c'mon, they're only elementary school kids!!!! u cant possibly be scared of them no matter how tired ur.

When I was running the other day, some high school kids yelled something absolutely riduclous at me, "You look like a f*cking turtle!!" Now, I was almost home, about 1/4 mile and I was picking up at the end of the run. I said nothing...... so I asked myself why didnt i say something , damn!!!.... so i am like , alright alright , i got a stupid responce to their stupid comment. I got in my car, no cool down or anything, drove to McDonalds and ordered a large milkshake. I smiled and drove off with the milkshake to the park that they were heading too... I parked in the parking lot, then got out of my car, holding in my laugh as best as I can (not very good). They recognized me and started yelling crap . I walked over very casually. Then.......... I f*cking whiped the milkshake at the fattest kid there (approx 16, 250 lbs).. ALL OVER HIM!!! in 35 degree weather... All 4 of them came after me and I sprinting back to my car, laughing my ass off.. IMAGINE WHAT THAT KID SAID TO HIS MOTHER!! "Some a**hole runner threw a milkshake at me"... God, that was good..

kellis would be proud.

well, im 22 lady runner but i have a feeling that i will be mistaken for being 15 years old while out on my runs for the next 20 years... i think society's perception of age is based on how much fat has accumulated over the years... admit it, i know i do it sometimes too, especially from a distance... well this is my explanation for why super confident junior high school boys try to strike up conservation with me while on a run. but why they say " Got a lighter, or maybe a smoke?" i dont know... they dont appear to be trying to be smart they just look desparate. I look forward to this a couple times a month and respond with either "smoking kills sex lives" or " your penis will rot off [if you smoke till your senior year]"

What i truly cant stand is those that say nothing, the creepy foreign men especially, whoo just stare wide eyed and follow your movements turning their heads as you pass...i d retaliate then saying something first which i often do... trust me they are foreign when they look confused at your words "do you have rabies" or "your fly is down"... im from vancouver, canada

That is one of the most pathetic things I have ever read.

Thank you for that story.

P.S. Pathetic.

I'm in HS. We run through this fairly large neigborhood quite often, and we usually don't get any grief from the people in it, seeing as how most of the residents are well-educated people who realize that arbitrarily being a dick isn't really funny. Anyway, we're running through this neigborhood, and this fat kid on a bike spots us. He starts riding toward us, as in coming from the direction we are headed. He then proceeds to turn around and bike directly beside us, telling us we're slow. Being one of the seniors in the group, I told him to shut up (great comeback, I know). The very next words out of his mouth were "Do you want to CHALLENGE me?" anyway, the other senior (and easily the more rational one) said, "nah, you'd probably beat us". Apparently feeling pretty good about himself, the fat kid mumbled something, and took off on his bike. This ended up being one of the funniest things I've ever seen on a run. This neigborhood is one of those upscale ones with asphalt paths up off the road for people to walk their dogs on or whatever. The builders of the neigborhood made them kind of hilly, and surrounded by trees (more or less), to make it more nature-y. This kid turns around after riding about 50 feet down this path and yells something at us. In doing so, he fails to realize that he's going off the path. He slams into this low tree, one of those with a lot of low-to-the-ground branches, and gets all tangled up in it. Anyway, his bike was busted up, and we kept on running by him, laughing the whole time. I kind of felt bad later on, when I found out he was retarded (not from the bike wreck).

AD -

Yours is the only message to actually make me laugh out loud. That last sentence was priceless. You have a real gift for low-key, possibly unintentional comedy.

bump

One day my team was doing a warmup run before a workout and these two 10-year-old kids riding bikes start following us, and they asked us why we were running. They weren't being mean, I think they were just genuinely curious. One of our freshmen turns around and yells "We're looking for your mom so we can fist her!" and I don't know if the kids even understood him but they definitely heard insanity in his voice so they turned around and left.

My personal response to "fag" is to blow the yeller a kiss, although "Jesus loves you!" sounds like a good one too.

Pat the Cat,

That might be the best post that I have ever read on any message board. Thank you for making my day!

I was running by a highschool a couple months back and there was a couple of kids standing by their car. I was just passing them and one of them looked up and said run you queer. So I stopped and I said, "No..No..you stop it, bad teenager." And then he said, "I'm sorry." So I went on with my run.

Alligator EPO, Skivvies and Pat the Cat: When I read your posts, in a short amount of time, i laughed so hard a small amount of urine leaked out, as well as spraying food from my lunch all over my desk. Well done, gentlemen/ladies.

Nice allusion to family guy!

"At least I'm not fat" Because there is a 60% that they are obese. God bless America.

There were three of us running at Busse Woods one night. We weren't paying attention and were taking up too much of the trail. A cute girl on a bike tried to pass and had to slow down a bit. As she did pass she said "Assholes"! One of our group replied "and I suppose yours is perfect". She heard it and gave us a look back. A litle later, we came up on a blind curve. When we came around there she was off her bike. She turned, grapped her shorts and pulled them down. She said "what do you think?", pulled them back up and jumped on her bike. She was pulling away from us before we could run up on her. Funniest thing in the world. Cute ass too!