I know dozens of people who did great in college, mostly in STEM fields, then went on to enter Ph.D programs. Some of them eventually recovered, but even for them it was like almost a decade down the drain.
My brother managed a furniture warehouse, was married with two kids and a house. Had it good.
He and his staff ended up with huge demand they struggled to keep up with, so they started doing meth. The GM caught them and offered to not fire them if they'd agree to go to rehab on the company's dime (the rehab center was out of town, they paid for lodging, food everything).
But my brother surprisingly refused, for the reason that he didn't want his family to find out. Well, because he refused they had to fire him. He had to tell his wife anyway. His wife lost it, threw him out of the house and divorced him. He ended up homeless, sleeping in parks for a while, before family came to get him and get him stabilized.
He's alive and not an addict anymore, works at a grocery store. His life isn't great. He and his now-grown kids don't talk much anymore, and his wife had her own problems and died. But at least he isn't homeless.
Still, an absolutely inexplicable decision on his part not to just take the rehab and keep that job, even if he was going to lose his family anyway.
This guy was an SRO at a HS. He was in his early 30's, no prior history of being anything but a good stand up guy, but he started "dating" a girl at the school, she was either 16 or 17 at the time. He got into a very party type life, hosting hot tub and pool parties, provided drugs and alcohol. He ended up banging this girl's twin sister too.
Eventually they both found out and ratted him out. He served 20 years in prison.
I can't really answer the whys or the whats or anything since I haven't spoken to this guy since he made his particularly stupid decision, but I know someone who got nabbed by Chris Hansen on that old To Catch a Predator show back in 2007. I don't know if he was trying that kind of thing before or if it was only one really (REALLY, REALLY, REALLY) dumb decision, but he had always seemed like a stand-up guy and it shook the crap out of our community. Of course, I'd imagine that is partly because none of us were underaged girls. It had already got around town that he had been arrested for that kind of thing but it hadn't been revealed that he was caught by Dateline NBC specifically until his episode aired. Even knowing the guy had been caught for soliciting underage girls, I still somehow didn't expect to see him on the show, I was floored.
Wow! I actually have a very similar story, someone I knew from high school got caught by Chris Hansen as well! It wasn't the original To Catch a Predator show but a later version Hansen did in the mid-2010s. Same basic concept though, it was called Hansen vs Predator. I'm looking it up and there were only 10 dudes caught on the show so if I give any details it'd probably reveal who it was if someone looked into it. But suffice to say, it's similar to your story, our old friend group was floored. Literally no sign that I can remember that our buddy was a pedophile. I've been looking around a wiki that covers all the Chris Hansen shows, reading my friend's entry and others, and some of the guys caught were already known to be creepy or a little too interested in teenagers, that kind of thing, or even had priors of the same type of crime. Not a single such sign comes to mind with my old friend. I have run across him twice since then, he's stuck doing retail type jobs now and is on the registry for life. I don't know that he was, like, super "successful" before but not-a-known-child-sex-predator to known-child-sex-predator is still a pretty big dive down the social ladder, and it's a stain that is never going to wash off him.
I'm on the verge of being thrown out of medical school. It's a long way on the other side of the country and I haven't even attended any classes due to mental health issues. I want to give it a shot but I also don't want to screw it up and be left in debt.
Other than that I've made a lot of mistakes, mostly small but they add up. It is what it is.
I know dozens of people who did great in college, mostly in STEM fields, then went on to enter Ph.D programs. Some of them eventually recovered, but even for them it was like almost a decade down the drain.
I had a friend that worked at a local rec center... long story short, couldn't keep it in his pants with one of his coworkers. Couldn't handle the inevitable fallout when the relationship didn't work out, so on a whim he quit his job, took out what little retirement savings and decided to move to Hawaii with no plan or job lined up. Sold a nice condo he recently purchased for more funds too. Went about as well as you would expect, ended up living on a tent on the beach. He does like the weather there, so maybe it actually worked out for him in the end... just hope things somehow work out for him long term
As someone who had to get professional help for this kind of behavior. I've always been fascinated and jealous of people who could just keep it together, who enjoy the simple pleasures and seem to be wired correctly. It got to a point where I resented people who were mentally sane because I felt like an outsider, trapped. There's a lot of pieces to the puzzle, but substance abuse mainly alcohol can absolutely trigger manic episodes.
My friend's brother finished up his army service and locked down a nice civilian job. Proceeded to mortgage a house and three different sports cars within 6 months of each other. Finances are completely destroyed.
This guy was an SRO at a HS. He was in his early 30's, no prior history of being anything but a good stand up guy, but he started "dating" a girl at the school, she was either 16 or 17 at the time. He got into a very party type life, hosting hot tub and pool parties, provided drugs and alcohol. He ended up banging this girl's twin sister too.
Eventually they both found out and ratted him out. He served 20 years in prison.
He got 20 years for having sex with two 17-year olds? There has to be more to the story. I realize that is statutory rape, but you can kill someone and not go to jail that long.
My brother managed a furniture warehouse, was married with two kids and a house. Had it good.
He and his staff ended up with huge demand they struggled to keep up with, so they started doing meth. The GM caught them and offered to not fire them if they'd agree to go to rehab on the company's dime (the rehab center was out of town, they paid for lodging, food everything).
But my brother surprisingly refused, for the reason that he didn't want his family to find out. Well, because he refused they had to fire him. He had to tell his wife anyway. His wife lost it, threw him out of the house and divorced him. He ended up homeless, sleeping in parks for a while, before family came to get him and get him stabilized.
He's alive and not an addict anymore, works at a grocery store. His life isn't great. He and his now-grown kids don't talk much anymore, and his wife had her own problems and died. But at least he isn't homeless.
Still, an absolutely inexplicable decision on his part not to just take the rehab and keep that job, even if he was going to lose his family anyway.
There’s more to this story. Highly doubt he just starting to do meth one day from high furniture volume. He’s likely been doing drugs a long time just got caught on the job. But he didn’t want to stop. It took hitting rock bottom for that to happen. Reality is that’s what it takes for most. Either they end up dead or barely getting by.
This guy was an SRO at a HS. He was in his early 30's, no prior history of being anything but a good stand up guy, but he started "dating" a girl at the school, she was either 16 or 17 at the time. He got into a very party type life, hosting hot tub and pool parties, provided drugs and alcohol. He ended up banging this girl's twin sister too.
Eventually they both found out and ratted him out. He served 20 years in prison.
He got 20 years for having sex with two 17-year olds? There has to be more to the story. I realize that is statutory rape, but you can kill someone and not go to jail that long.
They threw the book at him. The fact that he was a police officer assigned to the school and he provided these kids with drugs, videoed the sex all seemed add to the max sentence. He was just released recently. He went into prison as a young 30 year old and is now in his early 50's.
And yes, you could argue that he could have killed one of those girls and gotten less time, but such is our legal system.
I know of a guy that was a successful music producer. He was making millions but he was throwing crazy pedophilia parties and eventually the word got out. Now he's probably going to jail or be "suicided" by the rich people that attended the parties with him.
Most prevelant blow ups I see are people starting some sort of retail business. They literally mortgage the farm to do so. I am very risk adverse but 9 times out of 10 I can pick the losers.
More specifically, acquaintance quit decent job to open a running store. Kept it open for almost two years selling a dozen pairs of shoes a week. Finally closed shop. Lost his house. Couldn't find another job but did find himself divorced for fooling around. Kids mostly despise him. He seems to have landed on his feet but was very painful to watch.
More specifically, acquaintance quit decent job to open a running store. Kept it open for almost two years selling a dozen pairs of shoes a week. Finally closed shop. Lost his house. Couldn't find another job but did find himself divorced for fooling around. Kids mostly despise him. He seems to have landed on his feet but was very painful to watch.
I knew of quite a few runners or former runners that discovered this niche website about running and started spending all their time on there, arguing with strangers about anything and everything under the sun. Sure most were losers to begin with, but many at least had some. semblance of a happy life prior to discovering this site. They proceeded to spend hours every day posting and arguing and trying to belittle other posters, or get likes from them. And this just led them down into a hole of depression and sadness and bitterness.
He got 20 years for having sex with two 17-year olds? There has to be more to the story. I realize that is statutory rape, but you can kill someone and not go to jail that long.
They threw the book at him. The fact that he was a police officer assigned to the school and he provided these kids with drugs, videoed the sex all seemed add to the max sentence. He was just released recently. He went into prison as a young 30 year old and is now in his early 50's.
And yes, you could argue that he could have killed one of those girls and gotten less time, but such is our legal system.
Oh ok. I did not know what SRO at HS meant. He was security at a school and used to at position to give drugs and sex to underage girls. Yes I can understand why they threw the book at him.
More specifically, acquaintance quit decent job to open a running store. Kept it open for almost two years selling a dozen pairs of shoes a week. Finally closed shop. Lost his house. Couldn't find another job but did find himself divorced for fooling around. Kids mostly despise him. He seems to have landed on his feet but was very painful to watch.
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