My Uncle "Bad" is the laziest man on the planet. Some of the completely ridiculous things I have caught him doing:
1. On Thanksgiving he resorted to drinking his Bloody Mary out of a salad dressing cruet because we ran out of clean glasses and he didn't want to take 30 seconds to wash one.
2. The remote control was lost so instead of getting up to change the TV Channels once or twice (he only watches ESPN or HBO) he resorted to duct-taping 2 meter sticks together with a ruler and then a small toy lego block on the end so he could reach the TV from the couch. This took him about 30 minutes to put together.
3. Instead of getting up once in awhile to replace his beer he resorts to paying my 8 year old cousin FIVE DOLLARS for each trip to the fridge.
4. One day I had him call me from 2 states away to ask me to look up the weather at his zipcode. I asked him where he was and he replied "Home, I just didn't want to go upstairs I am watching the game in my basement and I heard it's supposed to snow. It takes forever to look it up on this GD phone!"
5. He told me in college he used to buy shirts at the Salvation army to avoid doing laundry...and he sometimes still does it. He has a 6 figure salary so I don't see how this is allowed but I guess it is.
6. He also convinced his own mother he had carpal tunnel syndrome so he didn't have to open his own beer bottles (also it forced her to go and get them).
7. Last month he was up visiting and overheard me discussing how I was running to the store. He handed me $100 and said to get a bottle of Gentleman's Jack while I was out. I got back a few hours later and handed it to him but he pushed it back and said "Happy Birthday! And keep the change since I forgot about it last year."
8. I also overheard him asking my grandmother to make him a sandwich for lunch because he had "carpal tunnel" and wasn't allowed to prepare food, according to his doctor. That was 2 years ago. My grandmother still believes he has carpal tunnel...