The best and ridiculous complements/remarks you recieved before and after a race

Actually, I just didn't read the post carefully enough the first time which makes this whole thing my fault for not being attentive enough to pick up on it. I can be accountable for speaking before I knew all the facts. I wish more people could admit to having foot in mouth disease.

I ran a 5k a couple years ago and was second in a whopping 17:28. But the guy that beat me shall remain nameless, but he ran right at 17 flat. At the awards ceremony he is allowed to speak. He proceeds to thank his employer(papa johns pizza) for all of their support in his training. "You can take your race bib in today for a 10% discount on a large pizza." He thought he was big stuff.

If you won what would you have given to the entire race? 10% is about a buck or two for a few hundred(?) people. Me think your the ass here.

My point was that he was acting as if he had ran 13:30 instead of 17:00. Who gives a speech after that? He was a Div. 1 runner at the time.

Thanks for the kind comment.

Not too politically correct but funny nonetheless. Before the city championship, at Van Cortlandt Park in the middle of the of the Bronx mind you, my H.S. coach looked at all of us straight in the eye and said dead serious, "Now listen and listen good, I wanna see P.R.'s all around this god damn place and I don't mean Puerto Rican's!" We wound up winning the city championship and had all 7 guys run P.R.'s with nary a Puerto Rican in sight.

I understand...so he thought he was the man huh.

My jr year in HS at city champs coach asked me one question

Are you scared? No I replied. He said stay out of the sun it will zap your energy.

I went to my doctor to get a referral to an ortho for my f***ed up knee. She said that the fifty miles a week average I ran this year was enough to guarantee I'll have trouble just walking when I'm 40.

moms in sports have to provide the funniest stories ever..... i love my mom too, but they have no f***in clue....that story about the dudes mom tellng him during the race she got him a hat instead of as shirt is the funny shit man.

Any and all parents. It's great that they come out to support their kids at cross-country meets when no one else cares to watch such goings-on, but f***, you'd think after four years and dozens of races at least a few of them would have achieved the ability to speak with their mouths and not their asses. Actually, the ones who'd been around a while were the worst because they'd picked up enough jargon to think they sounded on-the-ball.

"Don't start too fast! Establish position early!"

"Get out quick, then settle in and pick people off throughout the race!"

"Run smart! Run from the front!"

"Be patient out there! The race is decided in the first mile!"

And so on. Once a fat parent of a freshman who was also fat and running 5K's in 29:00 told me after I failed in typical fashion to chase the early leaders (who would all wind up at around 18:00) through an opening 400 of 65 seconds yelled at me "You've gotta get up there!" and I calmly said "Those f***ing guys SUCK, Mrs. Wheeler." Nothing hilarious about that except that I was (wrongly) believed by the parents to be an angelic choir boy type who never said anything stronger than drat or gosh or jeez or bite me, you cunt! Anyway, I won the race in 16:30 or so and never exchanged a word about this with the beleaguered Mrs. Wheeler.

This has nothing to do with stupid before-and-after words, but one time, at a regional championship, I was running right alongside this huge oafish guy who had just taken a spectacular tumble into some mud about a mile into the race when we rounded a turn and were presented with the sight of an old lady just standing there, oblivious to the fact that a race was in progress (I couldn't have been higher than 40th place at the time). This guy, already in oxygen debt and angered by his fall, yelled "HEY, GET THE FUCK OUT OF THE WAY, LADY!" She must have been 80 years old and just kind of leered at him. Then he looked at me with a placid expression and asked "How much f***ing further do we have to run?" Then he farted, and later fell down again. I must have lost 25 places dealing with this multifaceted intrusion and this 180-pound bastard must have beaten me by 10 seconds.

As for my own, I have a couple that stand out. Senior year, I was the first person in something like 17 years at my school to run faster than the state qualifying time in the 3200 (9:40). The race was a 7 second PR. I wore my watch and admittedly, took a peak with 200 to go just to make sure I was going to be under. Upon finishing, the first thing my coach says to me was "That's the last time you wear a watch in a race." Kind of amusing.

As for most positive compliment. Earlier in the season during indoors, I crushed my 3200 PR by 27 seconds to run 9:47 and lapped all but one runner in the field. I was ecstatic. A badass looking dude, I think a coach from another team, went to my coach and said "That's your runner there? That's the fastest mutha f***er in the whole world." He later came up to me and said "Son. Where have you been? I don't know where you have been but you are going to get back at all those other guys this year." I said that I hoped so, but that the Norwegian guy (Marius Bakken) was pretty fast. This perplexed him a bit, so I thanked him and went and cooled down.

one time at a small track meet we had an old dude (must have been a sprinter) calling out lap splits...it was a 3km steeple, and he continued to tell us the time of day for our splits each time we rounded the corner....f*** i had to try my hardest not to laugh during the race...615..616..etc

BUMP

Flagpole Willy wrote:

C-Town wrote:

Hahah. Its funny because I know this story!! Good times, good times.

I've heard the same thing many times. Kind of funny really.

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I had a similar race in HS where the coach told his runner, in second,"don't worry jorvack is dying" at lap 4 in a 3200 and I seriously almost cracked up. I gave the coach a big grin and picked up the pace wining league. GLORY DAYS HA! Now I am old and slow.

My senior year of HS I was running a 3200 in a weak section that I could dominate pretty easily. Ended up talking to some of the competition before the race as I was friends with one of his teamates, and the kid mentions his pr and then asks what mine is. I responded with a cocky "I'll beat you, anyway". So I go out in the lead and the little bastard hangs on behind me for 7 laps and then outkicks me in one hell of a last quarter. I felt like such an ass for talking big, probably deserved the loss.

I was out for a long run my senior year of high school during a snow storm that dropped 36 inches on my hometown. I was 3 miles into the run when the only vehicle that I saw that day pulled up beside me and asked if I needed a ride, I responded "Nope, I'm good" The guy looked at me funny and asked "Are you sure" and I answered, "Yep, I'm sure." As he pulled away I knew he was wondering "What the hell is that kid doing out here?!?"

I once had a well-known runner with some stellar PR's come up to me and say, "Hey, what's your name?"

After I answered, he LOOKED AT HIS NAILS LIKE A WOMAN and said, "Well, I'm sure you know who I am."

I was speechless. He beat me in the mile five minutes later.

I also had a kid come up to me right after the race as I was throwing up and say, "I did too much acid last night". I looked up, and was very glad that he wasn't the kid who had beaten me.

my mom asking me how many races im going to run at the cross country race.. after years of running in hs and college while having two brothers that ran too.. now thats WTF [quote]Trust wrote

my dad asking me what place i took.

(me) did pretty good i took 10th

(dad) 1oth!!!! why did you place so low

(me) well dad it was nationals

(dad) SO...

I totally bonked at the 22 mile mark of a marathon; was feeling pretty low, as I was on about a 3-hour marathon pace.

Walking with my head down, I was feeling pretty dejected when this cute little boy stepped off the curb, looked at his mom, looked at all the runners (still running) and said, "Mommy, is that man supposed to be walking?"

I realized I wasn't, so slowly I started shuffling again...to this day, the look that boy gave me makes me smile.