Best poster ever?

okay!@!@ wrote:

Just to give you a sample of the430miler's, uh, insights, here's his "resume" for the major university in San Antoio:

My lifetime dedication to the sport of track and field stems from years of personal experience as a runner, and my passion as an educator. Coaching is a form of teaching that can positively impact people for the rest of their lives. I view the track as my outdoor classroom. I am dedicated to embellishing the knowledge and life-long morals that are associated with track and field. Perseverance, motivation, hard work, strategy, and most of all PATIENCE are the virtues that I will teach all of my athletes. Although my personal specialty as a runner has always been middle distance, I am certified and qualified to coach all track and field events; as I have been involved with all events of the sport both as a competitive participant and coach.
Even in when I was in middle school, I spent a plethora of time on the state coach’s website, ohstrack.com. I did this to analyze all of the other runners and teams, learning as much about them as I could. I would predict the outcome of certain races, and was correct 99 percent of the time. A large part of coaching involves recruiting and researching other teams and runners. The more knowledge I have about other competitors, the better prepared I can be as a coach for my own runners.
The quality of coaching that separates me from other coaches is that I am not a cookie-cutter coach. I understand that all runners, just like all students, have different learning styles. I specifically taper all of my coaching instructions for each individual runner and their specific event. I put a special priority on making each individual runner the absolute best runner and person that they can possibly be, and I prioritize their well-being and personal success above adding to my own resume as a coach. I understand that when I attempt to make each runner the best individual they can possibly be, at the end of the season that will amount to performing well as a team. My philosophy is that when I teach my runners the virtues associated with the sport, that they will apply those same virtues to other aspects of life. Running is difficult, and when done properly, it can make other areas of life seem easy. All runners need a coach who is knowledgeable and a great role model.
Running tends to be more mental than any other sport, and the most important and difficult part of running is learning to listen to your own body. This is the only principle I cannot teach my runners. I would like them to learn to listen to what their body needs in terms of hydration and rest, all while I provide them the proper training methodologies. Coaching is not a 1-way street or dictatorship. It is a 2-way comprehensive learning experience, and a GOOD coach always listens to his runners and learns more about them throughout the season. I apply the Hippocratic Oath to my coaching methodologies. I will never administer any type of workout that could possible injure my runners. I know that certain workouts can only be done at certain times and still not have a negative effect on the runner on race-day. I provide hard workouts on hard days, and easy workouts on recovery days in order to allow my runners to regenerate and avoid injury. These are my top 3 priorities as a coach…..
1. Their health and well being.
2. Their academic performance in the classroom.
3. Their performance on the track.
My athletes will be run like champions, be good sportsman, know how to take a loss, and apply it towards future improvement at their next competition. My team will be a close-nit family and show each other mutual respect. I am preparing them for competition at this level and the next, and preparing them for all other obstacles they may face in adulthood. Running is one of the greatest gifts that we possess, and educating young runners is a close 2nd place. It brings me joy just being around the sport, and more joy watching my athletes mature into well productive citizens. I will do everything in my power to represent our team and our school in a positive, respectful, competitive manner; and produce as many championships, champions, and records for our school throughout my entire duration as coach.
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Barrett Dahl
2019 copyright all rights reserved

okay!@!@ wrote:

the430miler stands alone. The way his posts straddled the fence between reality and fantasy was fantastic. Sometimes you weren't sure if even he really believed what he was posting.

Mentallity > physicallity

His run in with the White House official.

Training in a t-shirt with a picture of a steak on it so dogs would chase him, aiding him in speedwork.

And then the whole bit about applying for, and then working at a job as a coach at "a major university in San Antonio," without ever identifying which university that was, and his crazy training plans for his teams, was priceless. That whole bit had me laughing out loud at times.

The time and effort he put into his troll efforts alone earns him major troll respect. The way some people thought he was serious and would go to great lengths to counter his claims was hilarious.

Where did he go? Did he get perma-banned? If so, BRING HIM BACK!!!