Seeking advice on raising high level athletic children

YersiniaPestis wrote:

Ahh yes building the athlete so you can have 2 D1 scholarship athletes and save on college tuition, also the prestige that goes with all of that.

First thing you must do is break them. You must break them down, physically but most important- mentally. That means waking them up at 3 am for surprise 5k time trials in the cold. It could be withholding basic things like food, shelter or clothing if they do not meet certain standards. Also spend time praising one, while belittling and berating the other- the infighting between the two will create ubercompetion between them and bring out nothing but their best!

Once they are fully broken down you can then, and only then, start to rebuild them in your desired form- the perfect D1 athlete.

Wow, there are some really negative people on LR. Or maybe a couple bitter people who show up in half the threads under different names.

Ditto.

Athletic scholarships have come up as a topic.

There's orders of magnitude more money in academic scholarships and financial aid than in athletic scholarships. Three of my kids were offered athletic scholarships, but they ended up taking academic scholarships and financial aid that were at least as good or better.

Unless you're a top men's football or basketball player, you're better off pursuing academic scholarships.

Athletic scholarships are more about pride than about money.

They are not mutually exclusive.

They are 6-8.

This has got to be troll thread.

Yeah shame on me for asking questions about how to raise competitive kids at age 6 and 8. Maybe I should take a laissez-faire approach and hope they decide to move out of my house when they are 45.

Nice troll...you got me.

Your are well on your way to being one of those a****""" parents everyone else hates - including their kids

boby jones wrote:

I do disagree with allowing my wife to cheer for everything and calling them a superstar. I think actions cause outcomes no matter the intentions. If you are a superstar at 6 for basically showing up and having some god given talent I’m not sure where that path leads mentally for the kid. Where’s the motivation to get better?

I don't think you're fully grasping this concept and maybe you're too caught up in the "this era is a bunch of cupcakes, what ever happened to working hard for your awards" oldhead BS to see it but it's pretty straight forward. The motivation shouldn't come from you. In any way. It should be your kid's choice to pursue any sport they feel drawn towards, whether they're good or not, whether its what they're "best at" or not. So just cheer for your kids, they should never feel that they have to earn your approval for a sport. Or for most things. And thats essentially what you're saying you want them to do. Instill work ethic in other ways.

Your goal is to raise competitive kids at 6 and 8. Do your kids feel the same way? Or do they like doing the sport for now (cuz it's still pretty new to them at that age) or do they just love all the attention they get from Daddy when they do it?

Do they want to be competitive, or are you hoping they do because you feel like maybe you had the ability but were never competitive enough?

I am not faulting you, because I have been there myself. I remember the thrill I felt watching one of my sons play soccer and seeing he not only had natural ability, plus tons of speed. He went on to play all sorts of sports into high school, but ultimately chose to switch to track when his coaches started saying he could continue on in college. I was so excited for him when because I had run in college, too, though not too impressively, and I'd never been as athletic as he was.

Ultimately, he had some success in D-1, loved his coach and team, and made great friends. But by his senior year, I could tell his heart wasn't in it. That joy I'd seen in him when he was young and running around the basketball court or soccer field was just gone, even though he was one of the fastest guys on the team.

As soon as he graduated, the first thing he did was buy a pair of soccer cleats and join a league. He later told us he had more fun executing a great play as part of a team than he ever did running or even winning a race. I don't think he regrets running in college because of all the great experiences, but I do think he felt like a phony sometimes. And that makes me sad for falling for the D-1 is the ultimate nonsense and probably encouraging him to fall for it too.

So just saying, be careful what you wish for.

Slik Rik wrote:

A. Moran wrote:

They are 6-8.

This has got to be troll thread.

Yeah shame on me for asking questions about how to raise competitive kids at age 6 and 8. Maybe I should take a laissez-faire approach and hope they decide to move out of my house when they are 45.

Nice troll...you got me.

so i havent read this whole thread, but wanted to provide an example of my own life.

i grew up in a family of 4 girls, 1 son (me).

my dad had ZERO interest in any sports

my sisters (all older than me) had zero interests in any sports, never participated

neither my mom or dad played sports growing up, my dad is also VERY much a non competitive person

when i was 7 I told my parents I was going to play baseball and to sign me up. They agreed, but from that point forward, all they did was buy me equipment, take me practice/games. No tips, no lessons, no training.

I ended up on a decent d1 team later on (ended up getting cut later, but still an accomplishment to make it). Later I joined the military and served in special ops. I work in a hyper competitive field now.

All of this "competitive" spirit I had was 100% my own thing. My parents never encouraged it. My love for sports was 100% my own thing.

I do sometimes wonder if i would have been better if my dad grinded me to practice late every night and taught me "moral lessons" about winning etc. But to be honest, I don't think it would have mattered. I was hitting balls of a tee in the backyard until bedtime every night anyways (on my own - my choice). I already had that drive. Don't think you can really force it to be honest.

and I forgot to mention

many of the great athletes of our day didn't even fathers in their lives growing up. Lebron james doesn't even know who his dad is.

Just be there for them as a loving parent. But don't fall for the trap thinking YOU are the one that will make them great. It's almost entirely up to the kid.

Op here..

We’re actually the very laid back and quiet family at practice and games. The opposing team would never be able to guess who our kid is until we walk off to the parking lot together.

My whole point of asking for advice is that I don’t want to be an a$$hat parent because I don’t think it works for the long haul. And it’s not really my style.

brien evans wrote:

All the replies up until this very reply are from losers with kids who are going to hate them later on in life for making them mediocre at everything.

Sure. Don't push your kids. Be their friends. In other countries where they don't have this pussification of society, they are pushing their kids, and they're eating our lunch.

Your kids are going to lose out on scholarships to Nambian runners, Australian kickers, and Ukrainian tennis players.

You all caused this.

most of our superstar athletes in the usa didnt even have father figures growing up. It's honestly rare for a star nba/nfl player to have a dad in their life.

make sure they are active when they are young they will grow to be strong and athletic

Like Brady? Woods? Williams sisters? Curry?

dopedgills13 wrote:

brien evans wrote:

All the replies up until this very reply are from losers with kids who are going to hate them later on in life for making them mediocre at everything.

Sure. Don't push your kids. Be their friends. In other countries where they don't have this pussification of society, they are pushing their kids, and they're eating our lunch.

Your kids are going to lose out on scholarships to Nambian runners, Australian kickers, and Ukrainian tennis players.

You all caused this.

most of our superstar athletes in the usa didnt even have father figures growing up. It's honestly rare for a star nba/nfl player to have a dad in their life.

Lol at this guy saying since we are nice to our kids where are raising athletic losers

Over 70% of NFL players at the draft combine were from single parent homes. 70 freaking percent!

NFL players are simply the best athletes in the country. You mean to tell me that having an additional father around that is their friend and isn't pushing them is going to harm their future athletic success? What about the 70% of players without a damn father.....

young dad wrote:

Like Brady? Woods? Williams sisters? Curry?

70% of the nfl? You would actually have a hard time putting together a team exclusively raised in a two parent home in the NFL/NBA.

NFL NBA players are the best athletes in the country.

It's all genetics....all these parents pushing their kids and stressing about don't realize this. ITS ALL GENETICS.

youawarebrah wrote:

dopedgills13 wrote:

most of our superstar athletes in the usa didnt even have father figures growing up. It's honestly rare for a star nba/nfl player to have a dad in their life.

Lol at this guy saying since we are nice to our kids where are raising athletic losers

https://www.oklahoman.com/article/feed/221868/chiefs-buck-nfl-trend-on-players-from-two-parent-homes-even-if-unwittingly

Over 70% of NFL players at the draft combine were from single parent homes. 70 freaking percent!

NFL players are simply the best athletes in the country. You mean to tell me that having an additional father around that is their friend and isn't pushing them is going to harm their future athletic success? What about the 70% of players without a damn father.....

Eh. You're acting like they don't have moms that pushed them and took them to peewee football and got recruited/sponsored into club football. Or cousins or uncles. They didn't just show up to D1 colleges and the NFL.

Just because a certain population of our society doesn't like to raise their kids, doesn't mean those kids don't have strong influences around. Sometimes that influence is bad. Sometimes it's criminal. Hey, maybe that toughens them up more than a pushy dad.