you have not been able to sleep at night because the run of the day was only an "ez ten-miler"
.......if you intend to visit a porno site but first you must visit mensracing,dyestat,letsrun etc. first.
......if your in any sort of running environment you can shit whenever you choose too.
......if you can shit in under 20 seconds if necessary during a run.
......if you have no problem with walking around your house constantly with nothing but your track shorts on
...you think that it's unfair that a magazine entitled "Road & Track" is all about cars.
...you like the smell of atomic balm.
When you run on trails and trip over a stump, you get your watch stopped before you hit the ground.
Ah watches!!
.....Your watch makes you wrist smell as bad as your trainers
.....You think that same watch goes with any outfit you own
.....You subconsciously start and stop your watch anytime you move
.....You can tell your watch's beep like a mother can tell her babies cry
-you got married in racing gear. (I actually did that) and run (with wife, judge, and guests) right after your vows.
-you've ever been chased by dogs.
-you've ever had beer bottles, cans, firecrakers, etc. thrown at you on a run.
-you've ever been spiked in a race, (my own teammate got me, 2" left heel), and display it proudly like a battle wound.
-you understand that XC and Track are actually contact sports.
-just thinking about a race can provoke an immediate bowel movement.
-you've gotten up at 2am for an hour run just to see what it's like!
-you feel proud when someone says "you're so thin, I think I could pick a lock with you"!
-you don't know, or care, what kind of car you drive, just as long as it has room to change in, and it can get you to your next race.
-you've driven 8 hours, one way, just for a race.
-New Year's Eve is nothing more than an excuse to go run from one year to the next.
-the offensive linemen at your college sit in awe at how much you can eat.
-have run 3 times a day because the Kenyans do it!
-have found how to make ugali, and you like it!
-think that the internet was invented just so that you can chat with other runners, find race results, and races.
-you only have running related websites in your "favorites".
-you've passed up a job because there was the remote possibility you'd have to work an occasional Saturday.
-you've had any running related job!
-you've wallpapered an entire room in race numbers.
-co-workers think you're strange because you eat non-stop all day but go run on your lunch break.
-you've tried to find a dating service online that caters to runners!
-you've visited Eugene to run where Pre ran!
Your dog's name is Lasse (not Lassie) or Kiptanui or Pre...
you are used to the sound of a gun
you make hundreds of left turns each week
you snicker at a ½ marathon as it is all in a days work
you dread sundays as they are the longest day of the week
you have about 10 thousand pairs of shoes
you are the fastest player to try out for the football team, but actually get cut...
you can do more pushups than all of the football players, but get cut
you like going uphill more than downhill
you get a kick out of passing cyclists
you are passed by a cyclist, get really pissed off and try to catch the bastard
you have a great kick ARE NOT into martial arts
you cannot read where it says "start/stop" and "reset" on your watch
You prefer Boston or Chicago over New york, Los Angeles
You stay up 3 hrs past your normal bedtime to catch a 3 minute race
you see your bus go by, but rather waiting 30min. for the next one to come buy, race after it and catch it
you have either ran or biked to work/school faster than it takes to drive/bus
your morning shower is about an hour AFTER you awake
You're the only in the gym pissed off that the treadmill has a top speed of 10mph.
you feel rebellious when you run more then you should
You have shit on your shoe
you use vaseline on your bits that rub
your running shorts give you "nappy rash"
your new running shorts colour everything else that you wear above the waste ... but you don't see it until the wife has to wash it ...
you enjoy getting colds as a result of running
everything creaks for two weeks after an event
you swear you'll never do another event at any price, but find youself thinking of booking for next year already ...
Don't blame me for this, blame the Great North Run ...
You have a spike wrench on your keychain.
...your favourite underwear is just old running shorts
you write your mile splits for a 5K race during math class, and claim to the teacher that its math
...you've ever walked around with your hands in your pockets just so you could feel your quads flex with each stride.
...you always run on the dirt/gravel/grass right next to the paved bike path.
...you understand that the wind can in fact be in your face for the entire 400 meters of the track.
...you've ever intentionally run through the sketchy part of town to ensure you get a good workout.
...you learn the most about your teammates during practices where not one word is spoken.
...you've ever gotten pissed about a bloody nose because you're losing valuable red blood cells.
you find flat chested 96 pound girls attractive.
that not so cute girl gets alot cuter after she tells you she made nationals.
cut class to run.(yes it's true)
run in the rain. (more like singing in the rain)
you smile at the thought of a 10 miler.
jonesing for that runner high.
the clerks at the department store remember you and haven't bought anything.
continue running even when your nose starts bleeding.
actually know what the word pronation means.
ambition is to beat the kenyans at their own game.
pronounce those kenyan names
think road races should be featured on ESPN as much as the other sports.
checking this site out everyday
skinny guy who eats as much as a sumo wrestler
dreams running
lapping everyone on track on an easy day.
laugh when someone tell you 800m is long distance.
aspirations to run across the mexican border and not get caught.
look like a bulemic eat like a monster.
everyone in the gym asks you for advise on losing weight.
saturday night fever is a shearing treadmill tempo run.
actually considering nonanistetic circumsition to booast my pain tolerance. (as those who don't know, kenyans attibute this ritual to their running success. They say when you feel pain running they remember no painkiller surgery ritual, it helps a lot):>
weigh 120 pounds and wish you were less.
want an altitude tent for christmas.
consider forrest gump one of the great running legends.
when people give you a ride you say nahh I rather walk.
wear a weight vest and ankle weight everywhere you go. don't leave home without it.
hard time explaining to airport security what you are doing with a weight vest which incidentally looks like a bulletproof vest, and ankle weights which do look dangerous on a 120 pound guy.
any run at the track is ready to blow up into a full blown race at anytime with anyone.
mom tells you to get a real job.
the name boston billy give you goose bumps.
people from other neighbourhoods think you look familiar or live in their district.
waiters at the local buffet restraunt recognize you as the spaggettie monster.
actually considering adding that third aerobics class today because you don't feel tired enough.
actually wonder sometimes if you can go on eating indefinately.
hungry 30 mins after food.
you are the one man cleanup crew for whatever is left on the dinner table.
can recommend the best pain medication off the top of your head for different conditions.
think you know more than the person working at the shoe store.
yoga is your religion
olive garden is where you hang out.
the endless pasta bowl has met it's match
it's winter and only you are doing intervals.
people ask you if you are cold in those shorts and t shirt at home.
runner and also a contender for lightweight champion of the world eating the most hotdogs.
commit all the dietary no no's and actually lose weight.