Waiting for marriage to have sex is about the worst idea ever.
Waiting for marriage to have sex is about the worst idea ever.
numersonly wrote:
I appreciate this thoughtful and reasoned response.
But there are laws in the universe that dictate things. If I jump out of a tree, the natural law of gravity will bring me crashing to the ground. Similarly, if I break a spiritual law like engaging in sex outside of its natural state (marriage) there will be negative consequences. They're not all the same consequences, just like falling out of a tree will not result in the same injury for everyone.
WHAT? Cue the Billy Madison quote about not resembling a rational thought.
An actual physical law of nature isn't even approaching the same thing as a "spiritual" law. Good lord, you're deep in there. I feel sorry for you.
hard to pull off wrote:
Sex before marriage is difficult to pull off because most marriages happen in a church or other public location. Sex right before hand can easily be interrupted by someone walking in on you.
One of the better posts here.
As a Christian, my faith dictates we obtain from sex before marriage. This is what I believe 'because it is what I was taught' and this is what I taught my kids; however, I did have sex before marriage. In fact, I had quite a bit of premarital sex stating at a young age and I enjoyed it. When I engaged in premarital sex, I was committing a sin. I have committed many sins and even though I try to live a life that honors my faith, I sin every day. With all of that said, sexual intercourse is natural, not having sex is unnatural. The biological urge to pass on your genes is animal and human nature. Combine that with a society in the mainstream that says sex is good, you should be having sex, sex is a right of passage and sex outside of marriage is immaterial. God knows all of this, he knows the sins we will commit before we commit them, yet he still loves us and in the end, the only thing he asks is that we believe in him with all of our might. I can't speak for nonbelievers. they need to follow their own beliefs. In fact, I can't outwardly condemn Christians for having premarital sex; how can I condemn someone for doing something I did. Each one of us has to find our own strength in the word and comes before God alone.
I was born and raised Christian and my teachings about premarital sex come primarily from my parents, yet they also engaged in premarital sex. There are many types of sins, it seems kind of silly to make not engaging in premarital sex the cornerstone of your relationship. Premarital is sex is not one of the 10 Commandments, in fact, I don't know where in the bible it explicitly states you should not have sex before marriage. There are several relationships in the bible when one can assume premarital sex took place. Isaac and Rebekah weren't married and no where does it state Mary and Joseph had a wedding. The bible is clear about adultery, sodomy, sleeping with a prostitute and that sex is for marriage, but nowhere does it state you cannot have sex before marriage. - You should not have sex before marriage, but we are human and frail and we sin. God knows all about sex...I don't believe anyone has gone to Hell for having premarital sex.
Sasha Pachev wrote:
Do not do it. Takes some self-control, but it is very much worth it long term. I have a very happy marriage. My wife supports me in the things I do, running in particular. Over the years she has supported me enough that I was able to run 80 miles a week consistently while raising a growing family that is currently at almost 11 children who are successful runners themselves and are succeeding in many other ways. She runs herself, even when pregnant. We have had minor disagreements from time to time which we have been able to resolve without external help - if you do not count a prayer. Abstaining from sex before marriage, and being completely faithful after is one of the key elements to the magic.
11 kids?! Come on dude, don't you know the world is way overpopulated as it is?? Also, while I agree with your ability to spout your Utah-based opinion, in this case, you're wrong. Also, did you know according to the bible, it's okay to have pre-marital sex if you wind up marrying that person?
I love these threads.
To each their own. I respect people who feel strongly about actually abstaining and actually do it?
Can we talk about how some get around ‘abstinence ‘ by doing anal and then pretend they ‘abstained. ‘
And then there is the simple fact abstinence doesn’t improve marriage success rates.
I am far from a fundamentalist when it comes to interpreting the bible. In regard to how we conduct our lives, I believe most of what is defined as sin in the bible came from thousands of years of human experience and is there for our benefit, not for god (he is okay without us). Sleeping around was looked down upon because society observed the harm that came from children who were born into households that could not afford them and became members of the lowest caste of society. Additionally, in a world with no antibiotics, no barrier contraceptives and very poor hygiene, sleeping around probably carried a far greater risk of disease transmission. It was these observations learned over generations that defined these behaviors as sins (sodomy, adultery, and even having sex when a woman is on her period were identified in the bible) and not divine inspiration. Don't get me wrong, it is great advice, and the bible is basically saying the same things that publications from the national bureau of health statistics and census data on poverty statistics are telling us. In a country where 50% of first kids are now being born out of wedlock and diseases such as HPV and herpes are rampant, it is easy to realize that these lessons have been ignored by the current generation to their peril. Hell is not some imaginary Ragnarokesk land of fire and misery, it is a painful existence we choose for ourselves in the here and now by ignoring the lessons of history passed down from previous generations. Basically, when you take morality out of the equation, it still makes logical sense to avoid premarital sex.
joedirt wrote:
I am far from a fundamentalist when it comes to interpreting the bible. In regard to how we conduct our lives, I believe most of what is defined as sin in the bible came from thousands of years of human experience and is there for our benefit, not for god (he is okay without us). Sleeping around was looked down upon because society observed the harm that came from children who were born into households that could not afford them and became members of the lowest caste of society. Additionally, in a world with no antibiotics, no barrier contraceptives and very poor hygiene, sleeping around probably carried a far greater risk of disease transmission. It was these observations learned over generations that defined these behaviors as sins (sodomy, adultery, and even having sex when a woman is on her period were identified in the bible) and not divine inspiration. Don't get me wrong, it is great advice, and the bible is basically saying the same things that publications from the national bureau of health statistics and census data on poverty statistics are telling us. In a country where 50% of first kids are now being born out of wedlock and diseases such as HPV and herpes are rampant, it is easy to realize that these lessons have been ignored by the current generation to their peril. Hell is not some imaginary Ragnarokesk land of fire and misery, it is a painful existence we choose for ourselves in the here and now by ignoring the lessons of history passed down from previous generations. Basically, when you take morality out of the equation, it still makes logical sense to avoid premarital sex.
I have no disagreement with anything you said, whether you are Christian, Buddist, atheist or whatever, sex is a serious matter and should be reserved for mature, responsible people and in my personal beliefs married couples.
TrackCoach wrote:
As a Christian, my faith dictates we obtain from sex before marriage. This is what I believe 'because it is what I was taught' and this is what I taught my kids; however, I did have sex before marriage. In fact, I had quite a bit of premarital sex stating at a young age and I enjoyed it. When I engaged in premarital sex, I was committing a sin. I have committed many sins and even though I try to live a life that honors my faith, I sin every day. With all of that said, sexual intercourse is natural, not having sex is unnatural. The biological urge to pass on your genes is animal and human nature. Combine that with a society in the mainstream that says sex is good, you should be having sex, sex is a right of passage and sex outside of marriage is immaterial. God knows all of this, he knows the sins we will commit before we commit them, yet he still loves us and in the end, the only thing he asks is that we believe in him with all of our might. I can't speak for nonbelievers. they need to follow their own beliefs. In fact, I can't outwardly condemn Christians for having premarital sex; how can I condemn someone for doing something I did. Each one of us has to find our own strength in the word and comes before God alone.
I was born and raised Christian and my teachings about premarital sex come primarily from my parents, yet they also engaged in premarital sex. There are many types of sins, it seems kind of silly to make not engaging in premarital sex the cornerstone of your relationship. Premarital is sex is not one of the 10 Commandments, in fact, I don't know where in the bible it explicitly states you should not have sex before marriage. There are several relationships in the bible when one can assume premarital sex took place. Isaac and Rebekah weren't married and no where does it state Mary and Joseph had a wedding. The bible is clear about adultery, sodomy, sleeping with a prostitute and that sex is for marriage, but nowhere does it state you cannot have sex before marriage. - You should not have sex before marriage, but we are human and frail and we sin. God knows all about sex...I don't believe anyone has gone to Hell for having premarital sex.
True, sex isn't the sin to end all sins. It's just that falling outside of God's plans for it will not bring you to an optimal place. God's design trumps man's intentions every time.
However, the Bible talks plenty about it. Adultery is having sex with someone who's not your spouse. That is a sin that breaks God's plan for us. Why do people think they know better than the creator of us all?
Wrap it up wrote:
Be sure to wrap your pole but don’t forget her back hole. Anal is where it’s at my friend.
That's disgusting. Why would anyone put their dinger in a butthole, when there's a perfectly good vagina there? Makes no sense whatsoever. That's no worse than what gay men do. Gay guys do it in the butt because they have no other choice! So disgusting really.
People - the vagina was designed to accommodate the penis. The butthole was not! Duh.
Smile, don't you know God loves you. Come to think of it I love you to. Take the time to smile at someone and before your through, someone will be smiling back at you.
Would you buy a car without test driving it? This applies in the aspect of life.
LM wrote:
Normal Person wrote:
The only people who advocate waiting until marriage WAITED UNTIL MARRIAGE. "I don't regret it at all". "Would you rather have sex with a virgin or a girl who slept around. Virgin obviously".
CLEARLY you've never had sex with experienced girls. Who the hell want's to have sex with a virgin prude?
"But you get to experience and grow together".
You can do that with any other girl too. Also, I've dated both. The virgin girl did get "better" but overall she was still terrible and there's a limit to how enjoyable she can get in bed.
If anything, there's TONS of people who REGRET waiting until marriage because their partner just flat out sucks / isn't compatible at all yet they still got married.
Dude, its definitely a "thing" for guys wanting to fvck virgins. Maybe societal conditioning, but it's decently common to meet guys that are really turned on by the idea of having sex with a virgin.
The rest of your post I agree with.
Fvck a virgin is one thing, marrying one is something completely different.
well,, wrote:Does it feel bad knowing that while I was banging hot chicks for 10 years, you were in your parent´s basement jerking off?
Yes. But maybe not as bad as you think.
I don't think many are banging hot girls though. I suppose it depends on your definition of hot (1 in 10?) and how successful/desirable you were and how much opportunity you had and how you prioritised it.
Assuming people fit neatly into categories and preferences are fairly homogeneous:
The mean average amount of sex had by men and women is the same. But the male distribution is thought to be more skewed (this is a combination of women rejecting men and men have a higher drive).
The upshot is if you're desirable (roughly equivalent to a hot girl) you can bang many girls, some of them hot.
If you're in a the middle you can bang a smaller number, and likely none of them hot.
There are a few factors which make it even more difficult.
There is a wider male age range competing for hot girls (e.g. men in their 20s and 30s and women in their 20s for the most part).
I think hot girls are more likely to be in a relationship, since they have more opportunity, so are more likely to get what they want. It's probably the sub-hot ones who spend more time riding the carousel.
I believe men who do not want premarital sex are men who mostly would not get much sex opportunities anyway. It's easy to resist when you don't have opportunities with real hot females (9-10 females).
I do not know any 8+ male that don't do premarital sex. Those rare 8+ males have many opportunities with 9-10 females and always end up having sex with some of them.
Female here wrote:
I believe men who do not want premarital sex are men who mostly would not get much sex opportunities anyway. It's easy to resist when you don't have opportunities with real hot females (9-10 females).
I do not know any 8+ male that don't do premarital sex. Those rare 8+ males have many opportunities with 9-10 females and always end up having sex with some of them.
Bingo. We have a winner.
No one is surprised a bunch of skinny dorks had trouble getting laid so they “waited for marriage”.
Believe me, I know the feeling. I was a short skinny dork so it’s even worse. But then AIM and Yahoo Chat Rooms became a thing thus it became easier to approach women that way, easier to seduce...
My 20s were fun.
Alan
It’s scary.
People talking about god and sex, like god is real and actually made up rules! You absolute cretins. It’s so scary.
Can't tell if this is a joke or not.
The mouth wasn't designed to accommodate the penis. Why use a mouth when there's a perfectly good vagina?
Who cares? It feels good and if both parties agree to it, it's fine. Tons of people like it, male and female. Plus it's not like they just go in with no preparation or cleaning...
joedirt wrote:
I am far from a fundamentalist when it comes to interpreting the bible. In regard to how we conduct our lives, I believe most of what is defined as sin in the bible came from thousands of years of human experience and is there for our benefit, not for god (he is okay without us). Sleeping around was looked down upon because society observed the harm that came from children who were born into households that could not afford them and became members of the lowest caste of society. Additionally, in a world with no antibiotics, no barrier contraceptives and very poor hygiene, sleeping around probably carried a far greater risk of disease transmission. It was these observations learned over generations that defined these behaviors as sins (sodomy, adultery, and even having sex when a woman is on her period were identified in the bible) and not divine inspiration. Don't get me wrong I’m gay, it is great advice, and the bible is basically saying the same things that publications from the national bureau of health statistics and census data on poverty statistics are telling us. In a country where 50% of first kids are now being born out of wedlock and diseases such as HPV and herpes are rampant, it is easy to realize that these lessons have been ignored by the current generation to their peril. Hell is not some imaginary Ragnarokesk land of fire and misery, it is a painful existence we choose for ourselves in the here and now by ignoring the lessons of history passed down from previous generations. Basically, when you take morality out of the equation, it still makes logical sense to avoid premarital sex.