Ex wants to meet up before he leaves the area, I'm afraid this could end up being pretty awkward

jc123 · 2014-11-29T15:14:49-05:00

I know this post is going to get lots of trolls but there's some good advice on here so I might as well try... I was dating a guy for some months and broke up with him around 1-2 months ago for a number of reasons, but I think we ended on good terms (even if it hurt him more than it did me, because he was more invested in it). Anyway, I didn't recontact him and we were out of each others lives until he messaged me 2 weeks ago wishing my happy birthday, and then told me that he had gotten laid off at his job and was going home (across the country) indefinitely in December. He asked if we could get dinner before then. I felt bad about it and said okay at the time but put it off for a bit because I've been busy but also to think about it a bit more. Anyway, this weekend was when he wanted to do it and has been texting me about it. I only actually do have a narrow space of time and asked if lunch was okay (plus I'm afraid this is going to be awkward and wanted to make it as casual as possible) and his last reply was asking if that was the only time I was available, and also that he was paying. He made it sound like we should go to a nice place. That last part and the whole thing in general makes me feel guilty about how I feel about this whole thing because he's a good guy but just not the one for me right now. Anyway, since I've agreed to it, I think I shouldn't bail. But I'm afraid this could all be rather awkward. I've heard that if you weren't friends with your ex before the relationship, you probably can't be after, and I think it rings true in this case. Even if it's just one meet up (and we'll probably see each other each year at an annual conference in August/September but that's a while away), I'm afraid that there's too much attachment on his end and I feel bad about it. Anyone ever been in a similar situation? Was it awkward? I don't really want to go to a nice place, just keep it as casual as possible...

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11 years ago 12/01/2014 2:22pm EST

re: jc123_

jc123_ wrote:
I'm pretty sure he got the point, because he said "so you want to call it quits?" and I said "yes." I think that's the end of it.
Also it looks like someone registered my name so I'm posting with my username plus an underscore. This will probably be my last time posting here.
Thanks for those of you who provided actual help!

You are not the real jc123. I am and I want him BACK!

I'm sorry for being such a jerk to him and stringing him around thus giving him deep psyscho issues. I'M SORRY EVERYBODY!

11 years ago 12/01/2014 9:09pm EST

re: jc123

Pick a restaurant right next door, and I mean right next door to where a police station is, and one that the cops eat at all the time.

11 years ago 12/02/2014 3:06am EST

re: 25 w/ a job

A month from now, send him an email wishing him happy holidays and expressing your hope that he's found some luck with his move home. Are you completely incapable of being a friend? Jesus you people are such losers.[/quote]

and then never see the guy again - a real friend!

Why pretend

You can be civil if you accidently meet up but what is the point of this meal

11 years ago 12/04/2014 1:48pm EST

re: Doclove

11 years ago 12/06/2014 4:39pm EST

re: grrrreat...

Original jc123 here...

Since the guy is staying in the area and not moving, he's looking for a new apartment because his lease is up at the end of the year. He texted me to tell me that he was looking for new apartments and had listed me as a personal reference and hopes I don't mind (since he doesn't have too many others).

Not sure what to say to this... :/

11 years ago 12/06/2014 4:47pm EST

re: jc123_

Say nothing. Do not reply.

11 years ago 12/06/2014 5:01pm EST

re: Roll me over

Is there a possibility I'll get contacted though?

11 years ago 12/06/2014 5:04pm EST

re: jc123_

Persistent

Clueless

Loyal

Trustworthy

Dense

Poor taste in women

11 years ago 12/06/2014 8:35pm EST

re: jc123_

jc123_ wrote:
Is there a possibility I'll get contacted though?

Yes. If you are contacted you can respond honestly, or you can tell the inquiring party that you did not give permission to be used as a reference and you prefer not to reply.

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Ex wants to meet up before he leaves the area, I'm afraid this could end up being pretty awkward

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