Grew a beard. People treat me differently.

I quit reading at page 3 as by then it was turning into a sling fest of idiots arguing over whether or not they're manly, but to comment on the OP, I have noticed similar things, though to a lesser extent. I did NSN in 2010 and looked so-so at best. My hair grows slowly and it never came in all that thick. Two years later I decided to do it again, giving myself a 3 week head start. My beard will never command full respect like a beard should, but it's a lot fuller and darker than it was two years ago. I have also trimmed it here and there to keep it from looking too scraggly. I have noticed I get a LOT more attention from women in their 30s and early 40s even though I'm only 24. One woman who I would guess was around 40 even sort of hit on me while waiting in line to vote 3 weeks ago, made it clear she was single. I still seem to get attention from girls closer to my own age, but virtually none from those significantly younger than me (more than a year or two). I probably look 26-28 with my beard, and when I'm clean shaven probably more like 21. I usually keep some stubble as I look the best that way, but it's kind of fun to mix it up and observe the effects. I haven't really noticed any difference with how men treat me though.

I might keep the beard for a while. Not sure. People are more prone to treat me as a kid when I'm without any facial hair, so it can be nice to have some. Interesting thread.

Flagpole wrote:

Whoever it is you are accusing of being me is NOT me. I pretty much NEVER post as any other user name (once in a GREAT while when I want anonymity I might make up a name for that one post), and I have NO regular user names other than Flagpole.

WEJO, DO AN IP CHECK, AND IF I LIE, BAN ME FOR LIFE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'll vouch for Flagpole. No need to IP check, Wejo. Of course, we all know Flag WISHES he were me.

Guppy, you missed some of the best stuff!

clean-shaven stud wrote:

Guppy, you missed some of the best stuff!

I came back and read it.

Just for everyone's information, it's been shown most women prefer a light stubble as it is an honest indicator of one's masculinity. Seriously, studies have been done. Not every guy can pull it off, but those who can do look best with a little bit of stubble. I good short beard also looks good on some guys. Long beards are generally disfavored on anyone but old men, in which it adds to their respect or jollyness (think of santa clause and/or the classic grampa image). My mom, who has always liked manly men, has told me I look much more manly and attractive with a short beard, and I the boyish friends I have who I've talked about this sort of thing with have all said they feel not being able to grow anything respectable really hinders them. Facial hair, or rather the ability to grow facial hair, is an indicator the person is a man, not a boy, and women want men. A full large beard is unattractive to most women, but signs of facial hair (stubble, light beard, goatee, etc) are usually favored to baby smooth skin on all but the most ruggedly chiseled faces (think Arnold Schwarzeneggar).

this is absolutely true. i'm 30 as well and what you say is fact.also, i started keeping my beard when i was at construction sites when i was about 25 yrs old (i'm an architect). the contractors and subs gave me so much more respect and listened to what i said without losing interest. i even experimented and went clean-shaved and with my baby face i was interrupted, ignored, and generally given less respect in meetings and on site. then i took it even one step further and grew a very thick beard and shaved everything but a big old PRE mustache. In general, people give you even more respect because it really throws them off. you kinda look like a goof ball when when you start talking and know you're sh%t, they fear the stache

tadpole wrote:

I'm a little younger (30) than the OP but I have a similar experience to share.

I found that with facial hair I attracted an entirely different demographic than without. The younger girls (18-25) stopped paying attention to me but the older ones (25-40+) would always take a second glance.

Take it for what it's worth.

Clan Destined wrote:

For the record, more presidents have had facial hair than have been clean shaven.

What president has the most respect and best monument in D.C., along with his mug carved into Mt. Rushmore? Let me give you a hint. He had an awesome beard.

clean-shaven stud wrote:

FGFG wrote:

are you retared

"...retared..."

I swear, you can't make this stuff up.

Why did you put a comma there? That's two sentences.

stagman wrote:

clean-shaven stud wrote:

"...retared..."

I swear, you can't make this stuff up.

Why did you put a comma there? That's two sentences.

I think I can make a case for it being grammatically correct in this medium. But even if I can't, I wasn't trying to call someone retarded while misspelling the word itself.

I see that clean-shaven 'stud' has added an additional dozen or so posts to combat my, er, three. I'd say you're doing a 'damn good job' too, son! Haha!

I don't even know where to start! The fact that CS'S' is still quoting me 4 pages later (in apparent fury) is quite the honor, citing a single statement as reason to produce 20 or 30 posts defending his baby-smooth flesh. Also, why do you keep referencing your other adult responsibilities - taking care of the kids, etc - while simultaneously listing woman conquering experiences (Pg. 2:11)?

I guess, in my mind, the two contradict. To me, conquering women does not equal manliness or masculinity. It's the opposite. It shows insecurity and the need for frequent validation. Number of sexual partners is irrelevant. Instead, I'd argue that it's your ability (or inability) to connect with and understand your metaphysical relationship to women - socially, sexually, emotionally, etc. - that quantifies your manliness. You'll notice I said nothing in my Pg. 1 post about beards being a good vehicle for crushing tail, though they do lead to more attention from women. They simply encourage introspection (this is why you so often see wise men stroke their beards while thinking), which signifies wisdom and confidence.

Anyway, I digress. You shouldn't take this too personally. Many 'men' - sexually defined as such - don't have beards, and many of them are my friends. I was just trying to shed some light on the OP's situation.

ronner wrote:

Clan Destined wrote:

For the record, more presidents have had facial hair than have been clean shaven.

What president has the most respect and best monument in D.C., along with his mug carved into Mt. Rushmore? Let me give you a hint. He had an awesome beard.

Let me give you another hint. He died nearly 150 years ago. Last president with facial hair was 100 years ago.

Pretty funny. I too am sporting my annual November/December growth and notice none of the differences you point out (albeit in jest no doubt). If anything, makes me look meaner, older and less social. I could give a #!@$.

Also though, I would note that the most interesting man in the world sports a nice beard and as a result, "Bears flat out refuse to fight him." Kind of a nice perk.

I knew I could get you back in the ring (and with a much more conciliatory tone, I see)!

Grey Beard, my man, if you're going to defend your post, at least be honest. It's the manly thing to do!

Your clear implication in your Pg. 1 post was that women will be more sexually attracted to you in some kind of subconscious, primal way. Consider this statement of yours:

"...though she wouldn't be able to identify it as such and merely thinks, "gee, what a sexy fvcking man."

Because you implied or stated outright that women are more attracted to bearded men, I will admit that much of my posting has focused on "crushing tail" and whether women are attracted to facial hair or not. I don't apologize for my desire for hot women (though I have only one at the moment). It has nothing to do with validation. I can't help it if I have a strong libido and attract hot women. I like lots and lots of sex and I get it.

My continued posting also serves another purpose. I believe you misled the OP, as well as what appear to be some rather young pups on this thread. I feel a duty to re-educate these guys from your misinformation. Otherwise, they might go through life wondering, "My buds tell my beard is so cool. Grey Beard said women would swoon over it. Why can't I get a hot chick to pay attention to me?" (No, no, guys, don't flood the thread with appreciation. The knowledge that I helped just one of you get the tail of your life is all the thanks I need).

Now, to that end, here’s what I've learned from this thread so far...

Many who post here are young fellas in college or just out. They feel inferior to older men and feel they are at a disadvantage in the workplace, job interviews, etc., due to their youthfulness. The repeated posts about being taken more seriously and being told they look older and more mature with a beard are dead giveaways. Nothing necessarily wrong with that. We were all young pups at one time. Besides, nobody wants to be told they look like a 22-year-old frat boy and it's tempting to cover it up with a "manly" beard.

Some men who grow beards - not all - do so to compensate for their lack of confidence around other men. Witness the many posts referring to the extra “respect” they get from other guys when they grow a beard. They want admiration and acceptance into the brotherhood of men. I understand. It’s a natural desire. We want the respect of our peers and their acknowledgment of our manliness. When beard-growers perceive an uptick in this by growing facial hair, this makes them feel accepted and valued by their buddies and other men, thus they are more confident. They don’t get enough respect from their peers and co-workers for who they are as a person, so they grow hair on their face to get it. In short, they think that facial hair=manliness=respect, instead of any number of other traits, like upholding their responsibilities as a father or husband, fidelity to their partner, career success, higher intelligence, good looks, athletic prowess or skills in the bedroom.

Some men – I present Old Grey Beard as Exhibit #1 - think all women dig beards and are subconsciously drawn to their manly qualities. Certainly, some women do prefer facial hair. But study after study show they are a distinct minority. Also, it’s obvious to anyone with experience that women are much more drawn to your confidence, brain, charm, charisma and personality than to the presence or absence of facial hair. Along with those things, a cut physique, some muscle tone, decent looks, good grooming and dress are all more important than facial hair – or the lack of it - in attracting hot women. I know this to be true from personal experience.

My conclusion is that many men – not all - grow facial hair as compensation for some other trait they are lacking, be it confidence, maturity, good looks, sexual prowess, career success, etc.

If you want to grow a beard because you or your partner prefers it, go for it! Do whatever you want. But don’t blame me when you’re stroking your beard at the end of the bar at 2:00 AM.

I do believe my work here is done.

I can do a good goatee or beard. The past two years I was mostly clean-shaven. The past month I'm back to a goatee for some reason. I always look at beards and goatees in the same way, and this thread as backed up that thought: if guys spend a lot of time around dudes, they rock goatees and beards. If guys are on the prowl or successful, they go clean. Great historical men may have had beards, but nearly every executive and world leader today is clean-shaven. Goatees are usually for veeps and downward. Want to rise to the top? Take it off. Give less of a shit, have your own business, work blue collar? Rock some facial hair.

Consider ending the petulant behavior gents, you're making my beard hurt.

Different beards for different folks. Mine comes in fast and there have been women who like either look and a few that like both looks. Now I take care of my kids, confer with my wife regularly (if you know what I mean) and grow my facial hair whenever the f I feel like it, sometimes confusing my coworkers who believe that a man should choose a look, dammit.

May you all be blessed with the facial hair of your choice, and a partner who admires your chosen degree of beardliness. To all those trying to get laid: Roll the dice and take your chances with the facial hair, just be comfortable in your own beard (or not beard). And, oh, leave the Vibrams at home you dork.

I hope your beard is more convincing tha Martin Fagan's. He has the most pathetic excuse for facial hair I've seen on a grown man.

Wow. This thread has gone on way too long. Let's keep it simple. You can take your studies and throw them out the window.

A beard is a long-recognized symbol of masculinity. Women like a masculine man. Simple enough? Just like long beautiful hair screams femininity. Men love long beautiful hair on women.

Obviously if you can't grow a good beard or don't keep it well groomed then women won't like it and you'd be better off clean shaven. It depends on the man.

yes, dear wrote:

Wow. This thread has gone on way too long. Let's keep it simple. You can take your studies and throw them out the window.

A beard is a long-recognized symbol of masculinity. Women like a masculine man. Simple enough? Just like long beautiful hair screams femininity. Men love long beautiful hair on women.

Obviously if you can't grow a good beard or don't keep it well groomed then women won't like it and you'd be better off clean shaven. It depends on the man.

It's gone on too long and yet you come here and make it longer (while adding almost nothing to the discussion). Genius!

I noticed this, but going in the opposite direction. I had a light beard (i don't mean patchy, but trimmed to about 10 days growth). I recently got a wild hair and shaved fully for the first time in about a year. That morning, I noticed the starbucks girl was nicer to me, strangers said hello, and at work people smiled at me a lot more often. I was lost as to why everyone was being so nice to me until i remembered i'd shaved off the beard that morning. I've actually gown it out and shaved it a few more times since then, with similar results. I think a beard is obviously very masculine and somehow intimidating, and people aren't as willing to open up with you when you have one. Now I just keep it shaved, makes life a bit more pleasant.

clean-shaven stud wrote:

ronner wrote:

What president has the most respect and best monument in D.C., along with his mug carved into Mt. Rushmore? Let me give you a hint. He had an awesome beard.

Let me give you another hint. He died nearly 150 years ago. Last president with facial hair was 100 years ago.

Hush up, you don't know jack! Rock that beard with a stovepipe hat and some coattails. You'll have to beat back all the bichez!