TheGoldenMonkey wrote:
Before you comment, do some research.
http://suzyfavorhamilton.com/shame-intimate-relationship-eventual-break-up/Yeah, i’ve definitely seen this opinion in pop psychology. I just don’t happen to be on board with it.
I read “her” book, (well done to her ghostwriter) and watched several of the interviews she gave.
I definitely came away with the opinion that people are doing her a disservice who are encouraging folks to throw off all shame.
Inappropriate shame is when people are encouraged to feel humiliated over something they could not help. People have been shamed (in decades past) for being born out of wedlock, for example.
Appropriate shame is when you do a shameful behavior. If you do something bad, i’m not ok with that. I’m not going to tell someone that there is no shame in taking advantage of an elderly relative. That is a shameful behavior, in my mind.
Also pedophilia. If you have molested a kid, you should be ashamed. Not of your whole person, but for sure ashamed of the behavior.
Posting borderline porn, when you’ve got a daughter on the planet, who surely needs a mom and not a ho, is a shameful behavior.
Pop psychology thinks it’s all good, and no one should be ashamed of anything, but i’m more old school than that.
I love reading rational, intelligent posts. Thank you for that.