The real question: How is your daughter racing? Is she steadily improving, healthy, injury free? What is her training and mileage like?
If she's racing great don't even worry about it.
The real question: How is your daughter racing? Is she steadily improving, healthy, injury free? What is her training and mileage like?
If she's racing great don't even worry about it.
PoPo wrote:
Dad Concerned wrote:I confronted my daughter. It did not go well. She got very defensive. She would not let me see her phone. Now she is threatening to go stay with her mother, who probably wouldn't care if anything were going on since she was having multiple affairs with very young men when we were married.
Huge red flag.
Yep, troll alert triggered. I was hoping for a better effort.
Talk to the coach and her together in a non School setting. Just be honest and level-headed and tell them both that it bothers you. There likely is some kind of attraction because they're both doing it. Keep them both out of trouble, do it respectfully but firmly. Maybe a little brunch and you treat. Don't let it be the last thing in the conversation let upcoming meets and practices be what ends the conversation.
Dad Concerned wrote:
Not sure what to do here. My daughter is 15 and runs XC. She is probably the number 3 girl on the team and best of her class. The coach is probably 24. He is constantly texting my daughter, especially at night. While I haven't actually read the texts, I don't understand why they are texting back and forth so much. I don't want to be an over-bearing parent but I am irked by the coach texting my daughter.
Any parents have experience with this?
lmao "brunch." Fantastic idea!
Concerned Carl wrote:
Let's be honest here Daddy..... This really comes to down to one question. Is your daughter hot? Allow me to refer to the traditional 1-10 scale of attractiveness. To make this a little less confusing let's just pretend your child's name is Gertrude.
Now if Gertrude is ANYWHERE -- and I mean ANYWHERE -- in the 0-6.5 range, I don't think you should be concerned. A young stud 20 something year old simply isn't gonna roll the dice on such sub par bounty. You can sleep easy if this is the case.....in fact, it's likely that no man, not even this shady xc coach, would ever be compelled to lay their hands [and/or other appendages ;)] on such an appealing creature like Gertrude.
However, If Gertrude falls somewhere in the next region (6.6 - 7.9) I think it would be wise to further investigate the situation. You're definitely in the danger-zone now, partner. As both of us know, summer love has no boundaries. Moreover, inferring from your initial post, it seems like these two are like quite the duo....winning state titles and all.... I wouldn't be too shocked if he leaves her panting from more than just quarter mile intervals ;). If this is her predicament (being in the 6.6 - 7.9 region), first and foremost, you should be a proud father. Your seed has produced a decent at worst (6.6) or at best (7.9) frankly, a quite impressive specimen. Of course, after reflecting on your spawn's physical beauty for a few moments, action must be taken. Since we can't know for sure if this xc coach -- let's just call him Arnold -- if Arnold has already procreated with Gertrude and have no hard (hehe) evidence against him, we must proceed with a certain degree of caution. I would recommend stealing your daughter's phone and investigating. Some tips for excavation:
1) Open messages app
2) Enter the terms "horny," "daddy," "I want it," and "you up?" into the search bar
3) Find out if Arnold is boning Gertrude.
The final scenario would be if Gertrude is placed in the notorious 8.0 - 10.0 region. I have some bad news for you in this case. Your daughter is surely being penetrated by a man many years her elder. Of course, at this point the damage has already been done -- both physically and mentally. However, steps must be taken to ensure Gertrude is not soiled even further. It would be wise to capture and hold Arnold hostage. This could be done in an abandoned storage unit, or even your own home. I've dealt with a hostage situation a few times in my years for various reasons which don't need to be disclosed here. I hope my experience can offer you some helpful tips for how to best deal with Arnold. Clearly, after capturing Arnold, he must be put to death. Your question, of course, is how? Find below one of my FAVORITE methods of execution. I call it "Fire, Honey, Soothe, Repeat"
The first step is to slowly burn the victim, making sure that every part of their body is covered in at least minor burns (not too severe or they will not feel it), then cover their body in sections of honey and leave them in the sun, this will attract insects that will bite on the burns, which in turn causes intense pain. Finally soothe them, find a way to make them temporarily forget (or not feel) the pain; when they are no long showing signs of pain, knock them out, heal their wounds and repeat (the temporary relief makes each cycle feel worse). A few points;
1) When leaving them out, I would suggest rope crucifixion (as nails would cause open wounds and make them bleed, which can cause lightheadedness, which limits pain), the cross itself should be low to the ground (to give false hope). It should also has a step so that the victim can push up to get a breath. This should go on for around 1-3 days to avoid infection of the burns
2) To avoid having the honey soothe the burns, I suggest mixing in broken glass, this will cut them as the honey melts. Also make sure you stick this pain honey into areas that they will always either have pressure on (under the feet) or they cannot help but move (the eyes)
3) Since this can go on indefinitely, you will need to feed them. I suggest Duran fruit or Carolina Reapers for the fruits and veggies and live insects for the meat. A fully balanced diet will keep them living longer. Live insects in bulk can cause internal bleeding though, so be careful not to feed them too many at once. Duran fruit is often described as smelling of garbage water and raw sewage, and If I have to explain why the Carolina Reaper is torturous then please say so.
4) The healing means that this brutal torture will last as long as you want; The ice will also help with keeping them sane and lucid. Although yo cannot avoid them losing hope, they will eventually lose the will to live. I would delve deeper into my thoughts, but I don't want to end up on a list.
I hope this post helps! PLEASE keep us posted on what you uncover!!
THIS
If I wasn't able to text with my athletes a few of them simply would not be as good as they are now because that is where a lot of the coaching has happened, but I understand the apprehension. Then again, I'm a lot closer to 40 than 20, so I'm quite confident none of the HS girls I coach are looking at me like they would a 24 year old guy.
I text the guys as much as the girls too, so if that's not the case with your 24 year old coach then maybe it's only happening because of the natural, if not socially unacceptable, sexual attraction.
that runner 5 wrote:
why? coaches and athletes can be friends. Coaches are role models and leaders to their athletes. Good coaches reach out to there athletes and get to know them. I wouldn't want a coach who only talks about the sport....that would suck!
True but you can be professional about it. Friends? Just like parenting or a co-worker, you have to separate the two in order to do your job appropriately.
We need 2 be reasonable wrote:
that runner 5 wrote:why? coaches and athletes can be friends. Coaches are role models and leaders to their athletes. Good coaches reach out to there athletes and get to know them. I wouldn't want a coach who only talks about the sport....that would suck!
True but you can be professional about it. Friends? Just like parenting or a co-worker, you have to separate the two in order to do your job appropriately.
friends and lovers. xoxo
That pervert coach is having undue influence on your daughter.
Lets Have A Reality Check wrote:
For my daughter (14) she charges her phone in my room. It is turned in by 9 pm and is picked up in the morning. She was distracted and it negatively effected her grades. Those dramatically improved and reduced friend drama in the process. Your daughter is older so make your own standard and keep to it.
That's a great idea.
Dad Concerned wrote:
I have a very good feeling that what is being sent is IN MY OPINION, inappropriate. I really don't want to go into details, but I got a glance of what I thought was a pic he sent of himself shirtless. I am not 100% certain, but I swear that's what I saw
I would get the phone, and find out what's on it. Meanwhile, report the guy.
Jeff Albertson wrote:
Trollception wrote:Yep, troll alert triggered. I was hoping for a better effort.
Just discovered this thread and after the first page I said to myself, "I bet the OP is divorced." Sure enough I was right.
Every permiscuous girl or homosexual I know was either abused or a child of divorce or both. Predators such as this coach pick up on this and know who to target. Maybe next time don't get married to someone you don't intend to stay with your entire life.
Clearly the follow ups are trolling the OP using his unregistered username.
Maybe the OP made this up but this is a reality for many HS teams I think. Grown men using texts to manipulate girls to have a successful XC team.
In addition to the other things mentioned, I'd have a sit down, serious and non confrontational conversation with your daughter. Let her know how important this issue is for both of you, that you're looking out for her, and for that reason you're not backing down. Also, that you're not going to do anything to hurt her at all, only to protect her, and that you hope you can work together on this. Best regards
CurrentCoach wrote:
I'm a current HS XC coach in my mid 20's. For two reasons, I never text my runners (I mainly coach the girls team) because: (1) I already have way too many family and friends texting me at all hours day and night - and the last thing I want is to feel like I need to respond to a text from one of my runners, and (2) I think there are more efficient ways to communicate with the team - I do often use emails that I send simultaneously to the team and parents regarding practices, meets, and all the other logistics.
However, I do give my runners (and parents) my cell number, but make it super clear at the beginning of each season to only use in an emergency! I've been coaching now for 3 years and have NEVER yet received a text from a runner! Indeed, last year a girl did have an emergency where she was going to miss our bus departing from the school for a meet - but instead of texting me, she texted her teammates, who showed me the text on the bus, and then we got the bus on the road. More frequently, I have parents call and text me during XC meets (if they can't find me wandering around the course) just to tell me they plan to drive their daughter home rather than send her back on the bus.
I have never had one-on-one conversations about anything over email or text with any of my runners. We just talk before and after practice about school, college, and other crap, and these conversations are almost always with a small group. If I want to say something private to a runner, I just pull them aside for a few seconds at practice or a meet.
So - to the OP - check it out! A 24 yo coach should NOT be texting your 15 yo runner. By the way - the parents of my runners grow pretty close to one another, especially after hanging out together thru some long meets. So, maybe just politely/discreetly ask another parent if their daughter is receiving text messages from the coach as well. -- That's it - sorry this was way too long.
You must look like a total dork.
Jeff Albertson wrote:
permiscuous .
Have you been saying it like that?
Nellie Furtado wrote:
Nellie Furtado.
Have you been saying it like that?[/quote]
Have you been spelling it like that?
Ever seen the movie Election?
Dad Concerned wrote:
Not sure what to do here. My daughter is 15 and runs XC. She is probably the number 3 girl on the team and best of her class. The coach is young, probably 24. He is constantly texting my daughter, especially at night. While I haven't actually read the texts, I don't understand why they are texting back and forth so much. I don't want to be an over-bearing parent but I am irked by the coach texting my daughter.
Any parents have experience with this?
I agree its worth looking into, but proceed with caution. If she is a team captain and its a simply some back and forth on a specific track related issue, this could really blow up in your face. My daughter's coach texted her at night on a couple occasions, there wasn't a lot of back and forth and this didn't go on for long and lucky for me my daughter would discuss with me what the coach was talking about. As it turned out, her coach was young and new to coaching and was super excited about my daughter's potential and the upcoming season. This coach loved talking about track, with anyone who would listen. Insinuating a coach is inappropriate would likely destroy your daughter, the coach, perhaps the team and even cause a major rift between you and your daughter. Teenage girls are emotionally fragile and when the team dynamic is good, they will die for each other, but it does not take much to destroy everything.
With all of that said, you can't do nothing if you seriously suspect something. It is difficult to confront the coach directly because as a former coach, I would pretty much hate you after that and if you confront your daughter directly, she will simple become secretive. I would continue to monitor the situation and see if it continues and you should secretly read her texts, that's what I would do.
Nelly Furtado wrote:
Nellie Furtado wrote:Nellie Furtado.
Have you been saying it like that?
Have you been spelling it like that?[/quote]
Yes. That is my name.
Unless the coach is texting on a school district phone, then he is a fool, no matter the situation.