My live in girlfriend of 7 years not invited to join family potrait

Larry83 wrote:

If you want her in the family why don't you stand before God and take the vows? Your mom is right. Just for her to condone your seven years of indiscretion would be very gracious.

Because God doesn't exist so what's the point.

My " wife" finger quotes wrote:

Blah Blah Blah Blah wrote:

You can have your girlfriend in the picture once you call her your wife. The fact that you are still calling her a girlfriend indicates you are lacking in commitment. BTW, my brother had a live-in SO for many years and he and everyone else called her his wife even though they weren't married.

That should work for his idiot mother.

I call her by her name. On this board I used the term "girlfriend".

so whats a family wrote:

My mom says she would be included if we were engaged. I'm thinking of calling mom back and telling her I'm not going if my girlfriend is not included.

I'm sure my dad doesn't care, but my mom is an idiot.

I agree with you, except would have told her that at the start.

In fact I wouldn't bother with the portrait at all.

Get your own photos of you and your girlfriend, and send them to your mom.

so whats a family wrote:

Now here's the kicker. Now my girlfriend doesn't want to be in it because she feels she is not wanted. I'm not sure what I'm going to do.

Your girlfriend is right.

I would not have anything to do with the portrait at this point.

How can you expect your mother to respect a life-long commitment to your girlfriend when you have never made a life-long commitment to your girlfriend? YOU are the one who is preventing your girlfriend from being a part of the family. Are you really so naive to believe that with 7 years of co-habitation everyone should just come to conclusion that "hey, they must be in this for life!" without any effort on your part?

If you would like your friends and family to respect and observe your life-long commitment to your girlfriend, then why don't you get them all together and profess in front of them that you are making a life-long commitment to your girlfriend? Oh, wait, that's what a marriage IS! If you truly despise the legal aspect of marriage, that is all you need to do. No officiants, no lawyers, no paperwork, and I guarantee that your friends and family will respect your union. When it comes down to it, all marriage is is a commitment, and if you make that commitment in front of the people that matter, then you have done your part.

And, by the way, in 5 years when you and your "live in girlfriend" have went your separate ways, you will wish she were not a part of the family photo. Mama ain't no fool.

THIS.

yo mama 2 wrote:

How can you expect your mother to respect a life-long commitment to your girlfriend when you have never made a life-long commitment to your girlfriend? YOU are the one who is preventing your girlfriend from being a part of the family. Are you really so naive to believe that with 7 years of co-habitation everyone should just come to conclusion that "hey, they must be in this for life!" without any effort on your part?

.

J.R. wrote:

so whats a family wrote:

Now here's the kicker. Now my girlfriend doesn't want to be in it because she feels she is not wanted. I'm not sure what I'm going to do.

Your girlfriend is right.

I would not have anything to do with the portrait at this point.

Well you weren't expected to be part of it. This is about my gf and me. Please try to keep up.

Word to your mother.

I'm surprised the girlfriend hasn't dumped this creep long ago.

Wtf is a potrait.

Your mom is trying to pressure you to get married or trying to express disapproval of you / your girlfriend. You should not put up with that kind of behavior. Just be a man, call her bluff, and refuse to be in the family photo under such conditions. Your mother has no way to respond other than get the photo without you and explain to everyone why one of her children is not in it.

Ignore the idiots who tell you that you should get married. You know what is best for your life, not them. The world is full of people who wish they did not cave in to pressure to get married. You will know when, if ever, you want to do that.

My gf , Eight years my junior at 24, who wants a monogamous relationship with-out a long term commitment at the moment because of career path, children, her view of the marriage commitment paradigm, and flexibility of lifestyle relocation. among other reasons. I'm rooted in my city and do not want children she is unsure of her view of having children bit knows that she would not want any until her career path has matured.

Her mother (divorced because of her having an affair, mother to an out of wedlock daughter 13 years younger than her youngest child by a father 7 years her junior and at the time sleepover dating another guy a number of years her junior) to my gf, who had shared my house and bed for two years, that if I came to their city for Thanksgiving weekend we could not share a room 'under my roof'.

We laughed rented a hotel room and came for the week-end.

Families are odd be they yours or others.

Old enough to be in a seven year relationship is old enough to put your foot down. I consider her family and she considers you family so get over what ever issues because you will not like the outcome of a me or her position.

Your gf has been with you seven years whether your Mom comes around or not she will always be your mom . Your gf is a free-agent do not lose her to the draft thrown off from your Mothers cold shoulder.

Your mom's a narcissistic dick.

I feel your pain.

Good luck dude.

1. You should not get engaged so that she can be in a picture.

2. Mom is always right. If she doesn't like her, then there is something wrong with the two of you as a couple.

3. Since you are pretending to be married, you should pretend to be in the picture.

Your mom only wants what is best for you and your girlfriend. You should listen carefully to her. Be a man, admit you were wrong, and agree to be in the picture. It's your only response or else you'll spend the rest of your life explaining why everyone but you was in the portrait.

Ignore the idiots who say your mom is wrong. She's your mom and knows what is best for you. The world is full of people who ignored their parents and made bad decisions. In your heart you know mom is right.

It seems that losing the ability to live in moms basement when they fail at life is the driving factor behind a good number of these posters mindsets.

I assumed the position of emancipated minor and set up housekeeping with my gf at 16. My parents were supportive and hers disinterested. We never married but remained lifelong best friends.

I've actually been in a similar spot. My long time gf of several years was in the family picture but now we aren't together anymore -- wish we had taken a picture with just my parents and siblings and then a second one with parents, siblings, and everyone's significant others. My parents were actually very supportive of having my gf in the picture, but thinking back, the purpose of the picture was like yours, to update a family photo from 15 years ago. In keeping with that tradition, it is easy to say, let's take a picture with just mom, dad and the kids.

BUT, this doesn't have to be a one picture decision. Be flexible and everyone can be happy. There can be several different photos, just your parents, just your siblings, just individual couples. Let different people buy the picture they want. Don't ruin your relationship with your mom or your gf over a stupid picture.

Your mom is paying for the portrait, so she gets to define who is family (note: I would have invited the live in gf to join if I were your mom). Pay for a family portrait of your own, invite your mom, gf, and anyone else you want. Portrait problem solved, mother-son issues not solved.