No offense to the Orientals
No offense to the Orientals
confucious wrote:
if you were really asian, then youd be smart enough to know that not even 10% of the asian population would understand what "sayonara" means.
asians arent as stupid as you.
Simply boring. And I was right, you don't understand humor. I am part Asian, just so you know you're wrong.
Get a clue. This thread isn't about race. Now stop being such a dumbass and changing this thread into something it's not. It's about overbearing parents not allowing their kid a say in his own major life decision.
there are almost 3 billion people in asia, most of them poor and never having encountered japanese culture. say "sayonars" to 3 billion asians and how many will know what youre saying?
remember, you are a priviledged white person who's been exposed to multiple cultures your entire life. asians have been isolated from each other for centuries, pre-interenet days.
yes, i am as smart as youd have me have you believe.
ok, im really going to go now.......
Having a goal as you do is admirable; however one must be realistic. If you aren't even running at a decent high school level and basically taking a year off from school to train may not be the most prudent thing to do.
I think you are wanting people to back you and are not listening to voices of reason. Take time to cool off. Go for a long run and clear your emotions. The anger at your parents may cloud your outlook.
Follow your heart. If you decide to venture, prepare for the consequences. Best to do this early in life rather than regret it later.
read the first sentence of his post, or maybe it was the second. he made it about race (sucks to have asian parents"--though he took it back), and you made it about race (why did you choose the word "sayonara" when you dont even know if he's japanese? and youre telling him to do something that goes against the culture of his parents. how is this NOT about race?)
Who gives a crap about those "3 billion" people, what do they have to do with what's being discussed in this thread? Have we not been discussing people of Asian descent born and raised in America? You'd better go, you are having trouble thinking clearly at this late hour.
He isn't Japanese, he's American.
READ THE FIRST SENTENCE IN THE THREAD. and the alias under which it was posted. It sucks to have asian parents! that's an insult to 3 billion asian people! and then people are telling the kid to ditch his parents and say "sayonara" to them.
sorry, cookie cutter solutions for western kids dont always apply to asian families. asian parents are doing something right that non-asians dont do.
"people of Asian descent born and raised in America?" clearly you have no clue--inside many of those Asians homes, youre not in America anymore--your 9000 miles away in Asia.
Hey confucious - it was a DAMN JOKE. Have you ever heard a joke before? You know, they have punchlines, they make people laugh?
Get to the crux of the problem and you know that it's not about race. You don't have to be Asian to be close to your family, be expected to respect parent decisions, follow their rules, or be controlled beyond what might be acceptable. Hence, it's not really a race issue - as was pointed early on in the thread.
I believe that if he's really at odds with his parents, then he should have a serious discussion with them. He still has time to persuade them differently. If at the end of it they don't agree, then he'll ultimately has to decide what's best for himself and be ready for any ramifications. Afterall, it is his life.
"ok, im really going to go now......."
You're beginning to be like Flagpole. Just go already.
i know a good joke when i hear one. i AM the funniest person my friends know.
this IS a race issue. the poster says it is a race issue. he says it's an issue with his asian parents. "be controlled beyond what's acceptable." there you go, you said it yourself. often, asian parents are perceived to make demands/rules that are beond what's acceptable, as this kid thinks.
no, you dont have to be asian to respect your parents, but traditional asians do not adhere to the idea that you are all of a suddenly independent after you turn 18 and able to make your own decisions. you are a "child" until you get married. in china, children typically live with their parents until they are married. this kind of mentality that perhaps this kid's parents have does not mesh well with the advice that he's getting to say "sayonara" to his parents. this not only affects the parents, but all the aunts, uncles, friends who know the family. saving face, as im sure youve heard of, is a big deal with asians. you dont go and do your own thing without considering the impact it will have on everyone else. his parents sound traditional to me.
Well I know what you're saying, but this sort of thing happens in all races. My father (American) was overbearing, but I didn't blame it on his race.
And yeah his parents appear traditional, but their son isn't. They are living 20 mins from UW and the kid definitely has Americanized views on things, especially ideas of independent thinking and decision making. In my opinion, the parents are wrong to surround themselves in American culture without giving consideration for the norms around here. In my eyes, it is hypocritical that the parents settled in the US and enjoy the all freedoms and other things the this culture provides, yet would go about using Asian tradition as an excuse to control their child and deprive him the final decision.
againtocarthage wrote:
I may not be a good runner yet, (would have been fast this year ie:17s but got anemic. Ran about 80 mpw average this summer.)
Let's be truthful here, the kid ran 23-25min 5k's this year. A person who's anemic gets slower and tends to crash in races, but he wouldve been lucky to run sunder 20min. And the 80 miles a week were at what 8-9-10min mile pace? You struggle to run a 6min mile! Get yourself in shape before you overload on LSD, youve got a long road ahead to college level running!
I'm note sure if anyone has suggested this - but would your parents be interested in a compromise?
You could agree to attend UW for your freshman year (as your parents wish) but with a condition: if you're able to achieve a certain GPA (keep it high, but reasonable) your parents would agree to at least discuss a transfer to the school of your choice.
That way, not only do you get the chance to see if UW is actually a good place for you (and it might be) but you also assure your folks that you're going to concentrate on your studies.
I know it sounds patronizing, but I think you should be grateful that your parents are both taking an interest in your education (many don't) and seem willing to pay for it (many more aren't able). These two facts should be weighed heavily by you before you dismiss your folks as dictatorial.
Best of luck.
Martin
hey buddy,
Listen to your parents, but really tell them your side. If they still dont want to listen, ultimately it is your decision and try to explain that to them; how you may feel going to UW.
I went to an out of state school on scholarship and my parents were pissed regardless of the money. I hated the school I went to, dropped my scholarship, transferred to a better school that cost 3x more and had the time of my life. My transfer pissed my parents off even more! I am glad I did it though because I met great people, I had a great running career, I had a great education, etc. It was the best decision I ever made, and I believe my parents realize that now.
Good luck.
p.s this is not a race issue.
HOAX.
done wrote:
"ok, im really going to go now......."
You're beginning to be like Flagpole. Just go already.
WRONG! No one was like Flagpole and never will be.
Jim Rome - OUT!
Just wanted to weigh in here since I ran for a D1 program (briefly) and was also the prez of the Asian student organization on campus.
I'm on your side on these points:
-Asian parents can be overbearing (but they are only trying to look out for your best interests - in time you will appreciate and dearly love this)
-In my experience, I've seen way too many Asian students forced into pre-Med studies by their parents. Many do eventually complete the course of studies and become successful doctors, dentists, nurses,etc., but many do not. They waste years of study on a field for which they have no passion and are unproductive several years after college while they soul search. If this is your predicament, you MUST take a stand against this. Your future is your own.
-There is an inflection point in every relationship with Asian parents where you break their will and dominance over you, and they realize that you are responsible enough to make your own decision and learn from your own mistakes. I advocate that point should come earlier sometime in HS rather than in college or post-collegiate in some cases.
-Clearly, you are not there yet, but you need to be soon.
However, I cannot agree about some of your other thoughts:
-Your parents while obstinate are making a very reasonable choice as I will explain
-You have no future as an elite runner. It's hard to accept this at your age, but the sooner you realize it, the better. My high school PR in the mile and 5K was 4:24 and 15:30. I thought I was very good until I brought up the rear (or at least in the back half) in many CC races. Those were only regional races. I quickly realized that there were potentially a thousand runners roughly my age much faster than than me and getting better all the time. I ran for one CC season and quit. My elder teammate in HS who was even faster than me (4:15; 15:00) was critical of my decision (wasted talent, so on and so forth). What did he achieve? Never qualified for D1 national meet, never qualified to run olympic trials, never really achieved anything that would suggest "elite" runner.
-Unless you think you can run close to 4:00 and 14:00 within the next five years, you simply do not have a future. Even if you are able to run those times, you will live a very meager existence as an athlete.
-Not trying to bust your dreams, just trying to inject a notion of reality. The more quickly you realize this, the more quickly you can make running a wonderful, life-long hobby. There is value in simply running, even if for nothing. There is value in running for the team in college, but don't mistake that for your future (unless your future is in athletics vis-a-vis coaching, physical therapy, etc.)
-If you accept my opinion above (I respect the idea that you might not), there is absolutely no reason to go part-time and sacrfice your studies for your running. First, you can do both full-time. Full-time is a minimum of 4 classes which works out typically to be 2 MWF for one hour and 2 TTH for 1 and 1/2 hours (or any combination thereof). Of course, you have to study some more, but you still have plenty of time to train!!! I took 4 classes my senior year, decided to join the CC team again (for grins - still bringing up the rear), ran an organization, AND worked 20 hours a week to make ends meet. There is plenty of time during the day (and night)!
-Second, don't sacrifice your future which is represented by your college studies by devoting your disproportionate time on running, an activity you are only marginally good at.
-If you follow my reasoning so far and accept that your college studies are the most important factor in your future prosperity, then you need to accept that going to a better school will be best for you in the long-run. If that's the case, UW is really your best option.
-Parent's suck (mine did too at your age), but they are looking out for your long-term success.
-It's ultimately your decision - this is my advice only. I only hope it's an informed, realistic one.
People who think he is racist don't really understand Asian culture. The parents truly are overbearing and expect perfection from their kids. I've known plenty of Asian students who were forced to go to elite schools b/c of their parents and were very unhappy there. College isn't only about an education. Maybe the kid isn't interested in the dream of "success" and making millions of dollars. To many of us, money isn't the driving force behind our decisions. Yes, there are some white parents that can be the same way, but that tends to vary from house to house. However, the vast majority of Asian parents are overbearing. I guess you could say it is stereotypical, but it is a cultural quality.
Also, if you think you can be a better runner, go for it. I wouldn't put all your marbles in that basket, but go to a school where you can continue your running...again this goes along with being happy somewhere. You won't do well academically if you aren't happy. I ran 17's in high school and now I have scholarship money on a D1 team. I don't know about your PR's in shorter distances, but I was faster in those. Now, I am looking to run 14:40 as a soph. Not amazing, but a huge improvement and it is competitive. Most of all, I am happy with my college choice. However, for me best academics, best opportunity for running, and best atmosphere were all the same school.
Best of luck and don't let people ruin your dreams.
Hey man I am here in Seattle right now.
Here's what you need to do:
Write a letter to the Dean of Admissions at UW.
Tell them that upon enrollment at UW, you will immediately organize the UW Chapter of NAMBLA.
Then about a week later, you will show your parents the rejection letter from UW, and they'll beat you and give you Chinese water torture, but hey, enjoy your time at Wazzzu or WestWash.
Jason