Ex wants to meet up before he leaves the area, I'm afraid this could end up being pretty awkward

Anyone hating on the OP is just mad because they themselves have been rejected. She didn't lead him on at all, she just was nice enough not to slam the door on his face as she kicked him out. The guy knows he was rejected, and was just making a desperate attempt because he has nothing to lose. She handled it well

HonestThief wrote:

Anyone hating on the OP is just mad because they themselves have been rejected. She didn't lead him on at all, she just was nice enough not to slam the door on his face as she kicked him out. The guy knows he was rejected, and was just making a desperate attempt because he has nothing to lose. She handled it well

No, she has been leading him on the whole time. She keeps saying "not right now" instead of "never". She won't communicate clearly with him and tell him what she wants and doesn't want. Seriously, who gets so stressed out about wanting to do a lunch instead of a dinner. Just tell the person!

Inclined to agree with Guppy here. It's clear that no good was going to come of this, and also pretty clear what the guy had in mind, but at the same time, if an ex says he wants to talk, the decent thing to do is let him speak his mind--at least once.

I had something similar happen about 6 months ago, though, mercifully, it was just a drink, and she didn't spring the "why did we break up" line until we were just about to say goodnight. I hope it gave her some closure, so she knew we didn't just break up over the issue we were fighting over at the time, but who knows for sure. Anyway, I suppose I could've preempted the whole thing with a harsh phone conversation, but that wouldn't have felt right.

It's hard not to feel bad when someone else is sad about something you did, even if you're not at fault.

read that again wrote:

No, she has been leading him on the whole time. She keeps saying "not right now" instead of "never". She won't communicate clearly with him and tell him what she wants and doesn't want. Seriously, who gets so stressed out about wanting to do a lunch instead of a dinner. Just tell the person!

Since she didn't say that her boyfriend was mentally disabled or suffering from Asberger's, I think she was being perfectly clear. If you can't pick up these kinds of social cues, you really need to do some work, because brother, she was clear as day. It's like complaining nobody ever told you you have BO when your friends kept offering you deodorant.

Guy: Let's have dinner;

Op: Let's have lunch instead;

Guy: Let's fu*lke

Op: Not right now.

Guy goes away thinking, okay she wants it tomorrow.

Op goes away thinking, I sure told him!

How is this clear? wrote:

Guy: Let's have dinner;

Op: Let's have lunch instead;

Guy: Let's fu*lke

Op: Not right now.

Guy goes away thinking, okay she wants it tomorrow.

Op goes away thinking, I sure told him!

Homeless Panhandler: Spare some change?

Every passerby: Sorry, no change

Does the guy think "gee whiz, none of those people had change!"?

If you answered yes, you may have a problem picking up social cues.

Anyone else getting and Asian dating service on the ads with this thread?

Kung foo dater wrote:

Anyone else getting and Asian dating service on the ads with this thread?

Haha, yes, I got the ad for the Asian dating service, too! It was a couple hours ago, though, not right now. Can't say I'm into Asians, though. More of a Latina lover.

I can translate for everyone who doesn't speak American Girl.

OP: "He just wasn't the right one for me at this time..."

Translation: "He wasn't dangerous enough for me, and I didn't feel certain enough that he may possibly steal my credit cards and have sex with my sister, both of which are things I feel I deserve in a long-term relationship."

OP: "I felt bad being mean to him, but think I got my point across..."

Translation: "I didn't want to lose one of the 25 orbiters I need in order to feel I am a desirable woman like the celebrities I see on E!, so I told him off in such a way that will ensure he'll still text me and comment positive emoticons on my instagram selfies. This will also allow me to call him a 'stalker' to my friends, and that will make them jealous."

This girl's whole conundrum can be boiled down to the following: "I would rather continue to play the field of dicks than settle down with just one, but I don't want to lose the sense of validation I receive by having a guy illustrate daily that I am a desirable woman even if he has no chance with me."

Right, glad that's over, now pass me the spanner, I want to finish this before tea.

OP came on here looking for attention and sympathy and she got the criticism she deserved. I hope this poor guy finds somebody way better than her. She lead this guy on BIG TIME and now she wants sympathy for it.

go home OP please!

stick with eharmony wrote:

OP came on here looking for attention and sympathy and she got the criticism she deserved. I hope this poor guy finds somebody way better than her. She lead this guy on BIG TIME and now she wants sympathy for it.

go home OP please!

Only a complete and totally socially inept losers would somehow think the OP led this man on. He is the one who lied and said he was moving away just to get her to meet up with him. Big surprise, when they actually meet up, he isn't even moving. Why didn't he call her back and tell her that before meeting her.

If this man truly doesn't understand she doesn't want to date him, he is certainly not ready for any kind of relationship.

stick with eharmony wrote:

OP came on here looking for attention and sympathy and she got the criticism she deserved. I hope this poor guy finds somebody way better than her.

go home OP please!

I think that all of that can be said about you and your multiple threads.

Scalable Graphene Transistor wrote:

Homeless Panhandler: Spare some change?

Every passerby: Sorry, no change

Let's put the OP in that situation.

Panhandler: Spare some change?

OP: Not right now.

Ask me when I come back out of the store.

OP: (when she gets home, posts on Letsrun)

That panhandler wouldn't leave me alone!

How is this clear? wrote:

Scalable Graphene Transistor wrote:

Homeless Panhandler: Spare some change?

Every passerby: Sorry, no change

Let's put the OP in that situation.

Panhandler: Spare some change?

OP: Not right now.

Ask me when I come back out of the store.

OP: (when she gets home, posts on Letsrun)

That panhandler wouldn't leave me alone!

Except she never said anything like "ask me later".

Guys I'm really sorry for posting all of this. I realized now I lead this guy on big time and I shouldn't have done that. I am having second thoughts, Any chance I can get him back?

Very well done sir.

I'm pretty sure he got the point, because he said "so you want to call it quits?" and I said "yes." I think that's the end of it.

Also it looks like someone registered my name so I'm posting with my username plus an underscore. This will probably be my last time posting here.

Thanks for those of you who provided actual help!

Let's talk about the guy in this situation and let his actions be an education to all young males who want to desirable, respected, etc.

First, if a girl dumps you, never contact her again. Even if you break up with her, never contact her again. You broke up for a reason and clearly things weren't working the first time around. People RARELY change, so it won't work the second time either.

Backtracking to a woman who doesn't even respect you or want to be with you is wasted energy and energy that can be spent getting a better looking, nicer, and more compatible female. In this case, the OP isn't even into the guy, so he's wasting his time with her.

Him buying her a gift and wanting to be with her again is a beta, cringeworthy move. If the OP was to ever find him desirable, it would be if he started banging a better looking woman than the OP, went No Contact, and grew a set of balls. Nothing activates a woman's attraction for you like a little competition and envy.

Peace!