Politically I’m a centrist democrat with a good dose of libertarian views sprinkled in. Based on that you’ll know I’m sympathetic to most LGBTQ stuff but one of my jokes I liked when I was younger, thought I no longer recite it, is…
What’s the difference between a Triscuit & a lesbian? One is a snack cracker and the other is a crack snacker
Q: What do you call a cross between a Mexican and an East Asian?
A car thief who can't drive.
World Class Hobby Jogger wrote:
What if the funniest joke you've heard?
Your 5k PR.
Here's a couple a short ones:
1. My wife got arrested the other day for assaulting a negro lady. Really? What happened? I took her to Home Depot for the first time and while I was in the plumbing section, I told her to go find a Black & Decker.
2. What's green and white and doesn't like sex? The girl scout I keep in my attic.
Don’t know if it’s the funniest, but one that I think about quite often and “hits” if delivered well.
A movie star is visiting his psychologist. After a long discussion the doctor says “Look, just because your wife is a little weird doesn’t mean you need to end it all. You have so much to live for”
The movie star responds “Gee Doc, I didn’t say she‘s crazy, I said she’s effing (say the actual word) Goofy” (in your best mickey mouse voice)
Steve Martin wrote:
Global warming
as of now they told us most of the coast was supposed to be underwater
What is green and sings? Elvis Parsley!
Funniest joke ever?
Sean Bros thinking he is ever gonna have a pro group
Physics Humor wrote:
A neutron goes into a bar and asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?" The bartender replies, "For you, no charge."
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Two hydrogen atoms are walking down the street and they run into each other. One says to the other, "Are you all right?"
"No, I lost an electron!" the second atom answered.
"Are you sure?" the first atom asked.
The second atom replies, "Yeah, I'm positive!"
Werner Heisenberg is driving down the highway when he gets pulled over by a highway patrolman. When the policeman asked "Do you know how fast you were going?" Heisenberg replied, "No, but I know exactly where I am!"
Quoted directly from Coffey Creek Women's Correctional facility in Oregon.
What's worse than having ants in your pants?
Uncles.