Grew a beard. People treat me differently.

I tried this experiment last year as a 22 year old, 5'11" 135 lb male working in an office of about 12 people of whom the next youngest is mid-30s and most are over 40. In addition to being skinny I have always looked much younger than I am. Most people who meet me probably assume I'm a high school sophomore or junior.

I am, however, capable of growing a fairly full, dark beard. When I did it I got a very weird vibe from almost everybody. It seems like people have this image of me as a cheery fresh-faced naive young kid. When I had a beard I felt like people were struggling to cope with this radical shift of identity; most conversations had a forced and distant feel to them. It was very strange and kind of creepy, and I felt extremely self-conscious all the time. Definitely something I will not try again for at least another 5 years.

FGFG wrote:

are you retared

"...retared..."

I swear, you can't make this stuff up.

Whenever I grow a beard I get treated differently too. Some people are extra nice and some are extra critical. One person in particular always tells me I look emaciated when I grow my crappy beard. Other people won't shut up about how much better I look clean shaven. You just can't win. Or, I can't at least.

I shave once a week or so because it irritates my skin to shave every day and I am also too distracted to even remember to shave every day. Or if I do remember I forget again in about three seconds.

My BFF always tells me to grow my beard and is very supportive (to the point of being annoying) of my beard. He has one so I think he really just doesn't want to be the "beard guy" whenever we're doing stuff. Stuff like skate boarding or drinking beer and playing pool. Not stuff like running because he doesn't really run. He kindasorta Gallowalks a little.

Dennis Reynolds wrote:

Did your first wife leave you for someone with a beard? Is that where this hatred came from? Or were you never married and just too stupid to understand how condoms work and your stupidity causes you to be judgemental and idiotic over something so trivial and petty?

You haven't been reading my posts or you have comprehension problems. I don't have hatred for people with beards. As I said before, my brother has a beard. I love him and would do anything for him. Some of my favorite people have beards or facial hair. Some very cool people have beards.

What I object to and what set me off on this thread is the wretched poster Old Grey Beard, who - completely unprovoked and before I ever posted on this thread - wrote the following:

"...You know that real men have beards, and pu$$y betas have baby shaven faces."

And you're calling me out for "hatred"? You must be joking.

He thinks he's cool and clever and no one can match wits with him. He obviously has insecurity issues because he has to put people down without any provocation. No one - no one - said anything to provoke his disrespectful comments. Someone on this thread had to take him on and challenge him. Since no one else did, I volunteered. I'd say I'm doing a d*mn good job.

P.S. She didn't leave me for anyone and is still single after almost three years. Hate if for her.

Yes, people definitely treated me differently when I had a beard.

Men need to face facts: facial hair does NOT make up for thinning scalp hair. Nothing can make up for that unfortunate trait.

Carry on.

In response to people talking about Presidents and other modern business leaders having or not having facial hair, take a look at the people our current society look to as masculine leaders: college basketball and football coaches, who work in high-testosterone environments. Look at the big names:

Coach K: clean-shaven

Tom Izzo: clean shaven

John Calipari: clean shaven

Bill Self: clean shaven

Nick Saban: clean shaven

Urban Meyer: clean Shaven

Les Miles: clean shaven

Those are just a sample of the high profile ones, I'm sure we could all rattle off others. I'm struggling to think of any big-time college coaches (the type who have books written about them and are viewed as the top people in their field) who have beards. If they are trying to command respect among males, shouldn't they have facial hair? I don't have the answer, I'm just asking. Perhaps their wives hate it and make them shave, as was mentioned earlier as well.

Who knows?!?!

Nice list of alpha men. Old Grey Beard thinks these guys are "pu$$y betas".

I should rest my case now, but I'll probably hang around a bit longer in case y'all need help.

According to some "data" In found on the internet,

http://dailyinfographic.com/beards-infographic

:

"Women found full-bearded men to be 2/3 as attractive as clean-shaven"

uh oh

Will Ferrell has a beard in this SNL skit, so you be the judge:http://www.nbc.com/saturday-night-live/video/lovers-hot-tub-with-drew-barrymore/236046/

Fluffy wrote:

Billy Pilgrim wrote:

Should "has a big, bushy beard be formally added to the real man criteria?

Gonna have to ask Flagpole.

Here is a list of alpha males (much more alpha than a college football coach) who have beards.

James Harden

Kevin Love

Brett Keisel

Tim Tebow

Braylon Edwards

Alex Smith

Ryan Fitzpatrick

Ed Reed

Jeff Saturday

Logan Mankin

Nick Mangold

Joe Hawley

Every hockey player in the playoffs

OP Here. Glad the thread has been so active. I have had fun reading it this morning.

For the record, the post about the BJ did not come from me, but I thought it was funny.

Okay, so some of you took this a bit too far. I was not making any comments about how my beard has gotten me more chicks. I said that I think it is scaring them a little bit.

Old Greybeard had a wonderful post, clean-shaven stud. It was a terrific piece of writing that was fun to read. I am not sure why you keep lambasting him, but whatever. You make some good points as well. I think he was just having fun on the thread while you seem to have been really insulted by him. I also think you are Flagpole. You guys have the same damn writing style and the knack to never stop posting, even when you've been asked to leave or proven wrong.

About the beard:

I will say that my experience with other men has changed dramatically. Take that as you will. I am sure it varies depending on the man/beard. I am definitely getting the allusion of more respect. Whether that is legit or not, who knows?

Most women do not like beards. I think we can all agree on that one. But the ones who do like them, absolutely love them. You are attracting a different - albeit much, much smaller - demographic. I don't care about this at all because I am married and love my wife. She doesn't like it, but she knows it isn't here forever. I was planning to shave tonight, but I might keep it around for another couple of days.

With regard to coaches... Phil Jackson is widely regarded as one of the better coaches of all time and he always sported some kind of facial hair, whether it was the soul chip or a full beard.

One other questions:

Does a beard vary by ethnicity? As in, is it more accepted for a Black man to have a beard? Are Asians accepting of beards?

Your "BFF" is "very supportive" of your beard?

You're not helping the cause of bearded men here, redux.

Interesting... I think I'll show it to my wife also.... My wife acted exactly how you described.

I have a beard. I get respect. F-ck the consequences.

homer j wrote:

I have a beard. I get respect. F-ck the consequences.

You think it's your beard that gets you respect? Or is it because of who you are as a man - your character, integrity, personality, skills and intelligence? I'm hoping it's the latter, because needing to grow a beard to get "respect" is a sad thing indeed.

I'm growing mine just to protest the high prices of shaving supplies. At almost twenty bucks for just four blades to fit my Gillette Fusion razor, I've had just about enough. I can't use the cheaper disposables because they tear up my face. Even the price of shaving gel is up there... so grizzly beard, here I come.

When I was 32 I went on a 10-day mountain hunt, so no shaving. I elected to keep the goatee portion for awhile just to try it. After a few weeks there was a discussion at work between me, my boss, and a former boss about whether it looked good and if I should keep it. They favored leaving it on but I said I thought they were just blowing smoke and I did not think they would tell me if it didn't look good. It was decided we would ask the secretary when she arrived as she always spoke what she thought. When presented with the question, she replied, "I like it, you don't look like a 22-year-old frat boy. Now you look like I can take you seriously".

A month later I was promoted. The goatee is staying. Being a gaunt runner makes you look younger than you are...which is great as you get older...but career-wise it's better to look a little older.

Seems like good convergence form the posters on this thread supporting the theory that the majority of women prefer clean-shavers to full-beards. But what about the so-called designer stubble look? Most male models in ads sport 2-5 day stubble, which suggests that this look may be more appealing to women than either a baby face or a shag carpet. From my own experience with weekend stubble, I notice a slight uptick in the way I'm perceived by both men and women. After about 4-5 days, however, I have observed a cross-over point, where men begin to pay more tribute to the nascent beard while my wife, mother and other women start making negative comments.