whats the funniest thing you have hear coaches/spectators say during races?

How is Canton, Ny this time of year?

Park wrote:

the funniness of her voice is impossible to describe but it was like a gay voice for a man but on a women and even gayer.

I don't know about what funny stuff I've heard on a race course, but that's one of the dumbest things I've ever seen in print.

It was the North Central DII regional cross race in in Hays, Kansas in 2005. My team was a couple blocks over from Winona State and we are all standing there waiting for the gun to go off. And right when the gun is fired one of the Winona guys yells, "NASCAR". I have no clue why it was so funny but I was laughing so hard for the first 200m at least.

My personal fave thus far is the MILF at the Chicago marathon. Lights on, sheets off. Absolute classic.

My brother-in-law once yelled to his son "Pace it up" and when I asked him what that meant he said, he knows. Well I aske my nephew and he said "Hell if I know". At the same meet he yelle to his son "Go for the hat trick" and I asked him if he was running 3 races today and he said no, so I asked him what "hat trick" was he trying to accomplish and he said that's just something I yell to pump him up.

I was running a 10,000m race in weather that was poor for spectating and non distance runners. 40s and light rain. They moved everything except the 5000 and 10000 indoor so there was no one out there except the people in my race and a few coaches. 100m into the start of the race my teams coach just said "Hi, guys!"

A former head coach at my college helping officiate the shot put at a home meet said "we're going to measure this in meters, which was never the way God intended."

"have some pride" from the father of a friend whose son was well over a minute behind

I always enjoyed the poetic sideline musings of WSU Coach John Chaplin. So glad I didn't end up there.

My dad at my 6th grade 1 mile race: "get the lead out of your ass!!"

I finished 3rd in 6:47.

I was very happy.

iamnotconvinced wrote:

It's amazing how dumb people are on this board.

You are on this board.

Go to the mirror, boy!

my coach has a very colorful language. I was explaining to a team at the line some of the stuff he says. They would not believe me that he says some of the stuff he does, and with perfect timing my coach walks up saying "please for the love of god dont run like the bunch of vaginas on the sophomore team!" Their facial expression was awesome

One of my favortie quotes from him was when a kid asked him how far a 300 was on the track. his reaction - "Jesus F***ing Christ! its 3/4 of a 400 meter track, its easier to train a F***ing bunch of baboons than you retards!"

and he likes to offer us vagisil when we're complaining

iamnotconvinced wrote:

I have often seen high school athletes with poor arm movements (sometimes barely moving at all), but I have never seen an athlete in a race not using their legs (unless they have stopped moving in which case there is not point in saying anything to them).

You've often seen athletes moving their legs, but not their arms?

Penn Relays mid to late 80's:

Salazar is running the 5k and on the downside of his career and yet to run Comrades. Guys next to me on the infield keep yelling "go Slow-a-zar" Funny and sad at the same time.

My high school coach had a few good ones. Don't remember a lot of them, but a personal favorite was "get your HEAD out of your ASS and RUN", screamed at top volume.

Another good one wasn't screamed during a race, but said privately to me before an 800 at our sectional/district meet my senior year. Both the head coach and I had had some issues with one of the assistant coaches throughout the season, the final straw of which had been him pulling me off the 4x4 for a freshman he liked better (no speed difference). My head coach's last words of wisdom to me before the race were simply "Just think-Fk George". It ended up being my best race of the season, and needless to say, the assistant was fired at the season's end.

different sport but same idea:

Coach of my lightweight crew used to bellow thru his megaphone across the water:

ROW LIKE THE F$*&*%)ING EAST GERMANS!!

Not quite on topic, but close enough: Andrew Carlson and Ryan Hall doing the pre-race commentary for the Flotrack 800

Carlson: "Well, I know it's been a little while since you've danced the two lap tango."

Carlson, again. Looks straight into the camera at 1:30 into the video: "...We've got a great day, little wind, 65 degrees, 30% chance of rain, and a 100% chance of pain".

The whole damn race cracks me up.

http://www.flotrack.org/videos/coverage/view_video/75/4525-flotrack-800-the-race-video

"Someone get Yewer a sandwich."

Powerthirst wrote:

"500 Babies!"

That would be "400 Babies".

Some guy came to one our college meets and yelled at some girl running the 5k "Nice tits, bitch" I was watching the race and cracked up.