Why do middle aged married men often give up on staying fit?

Yeah, the few close people in my life who golf are pretty athletic and take care of themselves otherwise (i.e. gym, limit alcohol, eat well). These are 30s/40s guys. I joke about being thankful my husband doesn’t like golf but there are worse ways to spend a Saturday and at least it’s skill-based. Being out on a road bike for six hours on Sat morning is the same time commitment, but it’s more similar to running so I can really respect his desire to be competitive, to focus and commit to training, go for goals etc.

and we can probably all agree for ourselves and for spouses & partners, sports > Call of Duty if you had to pick.

Amen to that. Sometimes I would oversleep and have to choose between skipping my morning workout and going to work, I called in sick every single time and got my workout in.

I meant to tell you, your ass looks fabulous today.

I'm in my early 50s, very fit and I don't drink or do drugs. I'm at the same weight I was in my 30s. But I can see how it happens. It's a lot harder in your late 40s and into your 50s. I'm a lot slower than I once was and have plenty of injuries that don't go away but I keep at it.

I do understand how some guys get fat. You don't have the energy level you once did (unless you hit the drugs) and the weight doesn't work the same as you once had. You are no longer competitive with the younger crowd, etc. It takes a lot more work to have the similar fitness to when you were younger.

I was once young and cocky and couldn't understand how older people let themselves go. But unless you are 50 you can't really speak on the topic.

I'm 47, married with 2 kids, have full time job as does my wife, the usual responsibilities. I went through a period of time where I didn't prioritize running/health. And the reasons were all the same ones mentioned here. And about 2 years ago decided that needed to change. So I made it a priority again. But here's the key, nothing really changed about my life to make that decision significantly easier. The point is that while I'll agree for many people there will be tradeoffs if you make that same decision, that is still your decision to make.

Ludovic Pommeret has a wife but kids and is a sponsored athletes who retired from his computer science job so he can train 8+ hours a day!

...He also took up competive racing relatively later than most which probably has allowed him to be more injury free than many of his competitors who were elite athletes from a young age, collegiate and throught their 20s.

Guaranteed he wouldn't be winning Hard Rock at 50 if he was a father or working full time.

To your point, you haven't had enough of the same life experiences as many others to have proper perspective on why (men or women) fail to maintain the same vigor for fitness as they age.

Also, some do...but most don't. Children, marriage, career, financial obligations, injury, chronic injury & pain, motivation all contribute to this.

Also, also, for athletes who were very successful with top credentials in their youth, HS, collegiate careers, the success and accolades they've experienced will never be equalled again and many, many of these athletes let themselves go much quicker than average or pretty good athletes. This is reflected at local 5k/10k/ marathons in which thr 18 minute in HS athlete is crushing it at age 30 whereas the now rotund State champ is hobby jogging at the Turkey trot! ...As if the mediocre HS athlete is striving for a glory that eluded him back in the day could be attained at the Turkey trot!

Shut Up

meant, "but no kids"

#1- because I have a wife. after both of us working all day, it would be more than selfish if I got home, went out for even a 45 minute(which turns into 90 min with warm up,, cooldown, shower and complaining) run. She would have to make dinner, starthouse work etc.

#2- Because its not like I was like 25 years old again and feel good after a workout. Everything hurts, competing doesn;t matter and Iknow in my heart I;m never going to run like I did ever again.'

So I;m happy going for long hikes with my kids, dogs and wife. Bottom line-I don't want running to be a negative in my life.

too many responsibilities , too little time for first and second. once you are married why put the effort ? this is how most men think sadly

Did you purchase the mountain bike to never ride it but show it off as a status symbol ?

"Someone always screaming". Are you and your wife among the someones ?

If you lived in a townhouse, the condo association would not tolerate such a loud disruptive family.

Age 41 and your existence revolves around keeping up with the Joneses.

Squeeze in those workouts. You need the exercise.

Middle-aged man here. Both kids are now required to arrive 45 minutes before the start of their soccer games. It's a great time to squeeze in four miles and a little bit of strength training, while other parents sit and stare at their phones.

For me, it was simple "burning the candle at both ends" issues:

Helping raise the kids (sports practices 3-4 times per week, totalling several hours).

Working 50-60 hours per week.

Prioritizing time with spouse over time for workouts.

Sleeping a little.

There likely was time to insert more fitness activities, but it would have required more hassles (e.g., less sleep, harder scheduling) than I was interested in dealing with.

I'm glad you brought up politics, because that is the sole reason why I stay in shape. I really believe there is going to be a civil war, so it's imperative to stay fit in order to win said war. On top of my voluminous tactical weapons training, I participate in a mulit-modal/ multi faceted physical training program. A lot of running, rucking, jumping jacks, army crawls, box jumps, bicep blasters, ATG split squats, bun blasters, all to failure or to one rep in reserve.

I'm 27 just had my first kid, came from being very active (10+ hours a week) and hit a massive rut, which has had me thinking a ton about this:

1. If you are at 'first kid' age (which I recognize 40-50 isn't usually 'first kid age' but OP is 30s), the sudden sleep deprivation coupled with bad nutrition can get you into an injury cycle. So you go from time to workout to suddenly being exhausted AND if you pick up an injury, it's very easy to convince yourself 'I'll get back to it when we exit poor sleep phase and I get healthy.' but since you don't have time, you might not do PT, and you never get back to the way you were, and you turn into a 'next Monday I'll start back' guy. (This is what happened to me, and I finally had a friend tell me I was being lazy)

2. Losing tons of fitness is demoralizing. The older you get the more you get injured, and new PRs are unachievable, so you just stop trying.

3. I think along with injury as you get older, a lot of people (myself included) have the mindset that if you get injured, you have to feel 100% again before you can even start exercising. This is not the predominate mindset by PTs. Most PTs would have you adjust to tolerable load, then start movement again. But most people don't want to feel any irritation or pain when exercising even though it's part of the PT process.

...."So glad I never had children."

This, back in my 30's when my boy was playing little league football I would take him to practice after work and run around the field, it had two baseball fields plus the football field. It was a good daily hour+workout on the grass. All the assistant coaches and other parents were probably like WTF is wrong with this dude. It was a good t in my life.

New to me mountain bike aka 2021 model used. Traded up from a 2016 bought in 2020 and a 2012 in 2016. I don't get to ride it, so how am i showing it off.

Haven't bought a new car since 2007. Until this year, been buying 8-10 year old Honda's and selling them at 12-15 years old. Keeping up with the Joneses lol, we bought on a 35yo street, we are the youngest people on it... Amazon basic clothes, no name work shoes, no suits. We spend our money on our home, kids and vacations.

The American way is no longer, Job is 7-5, kids school is 9-330... with both parents working doesn't leave a lot of flexibility. I usually make sure wife gets a workout in a couple times a week. I have double the life insurance on me. Sacrifices made as a result of the world we are born into now.

Inflation is real and the boomer golden years are over.

1995 avg's - house 150k - salary 40-50k
2025 avg's - house 800k - salary 100k

Screaming = kids tantrums or meltdowns.

There could be extra complications when someone gets into fitness late in life. sometimes partners find it silly to get into distance running and think they are trying to show them up. Glad I found someone who knew about my hobby before we started dating.