Wife says quit the marathon or we're done

All this over a lousy goal of sub 3:30? I got a piece of advise for you buddy: Get a divorce and pursue your lousy 3:30 goal. You are taking her hostage on your SELFISH pursuits, and again, a LOUSY 3:30 PURSUIT. Yes , 3:30, YOU SUCK!!!

She definitely deserves better. You should be thrown in a dungeon.

Find a different wife. don't let this one affect your dreams mate. fck that horse sh*t

Wake up earlier.

Alan

Apparently after reading your blog and you're working full time. She's expecting you to cut down on all your training time since your marathon racing isn't paying the bills. Keep your day job and skip a lot of your marathon training blocks and spend some quality family time. Make her your priority and welcome to hobby jogging.

Don't want to sound harsh here, but 3:30 is 8min miles and is not age group competitive unless you are 70+.

And if you are not at least age group competitive, your running should not be impacting other parts of your life like your career, marriage, or family.

Try running 40-50 mi/wk working on getting faster at shorter distances. Once you've gotten age group competitive in the 5k/10k, give the marathon another shot by just increasing your long run and run the last 5mi to marathon pace. If that gets you under 3:00, then try making an agreement with the wife for a dedicating training block.

Good luck.

Don't run 7 days a week. Your body needs rest. You'll have a faster race for it.

Do you want to be married? If no, be honest all around. If yes, make an effort. Trust, friendship, are good starting points. Been there.

3:30 not far off sub elite. you're kidding right? try 2:30 or so. he's only got one wife and an hour to go.

Marriages have vows. Break a vow and you’re worthless.

Get up earlier. There’s no reason you can’t get in at least a 30 min run before starting work at 9 AM. Most people with 9-5 jobs and have kids are already running at 5:30

Your not going to be running marathons for ever. Gonna suck to die fat and lonely.

most marriages end in divorce though.

a running habit could be the stable constant in a person‘s life, but with marriage, that‘s not a given.

i think someone said this up above, but „do this or else“ is a temper tantrum, whether it comes from a toddler or an adult.

I've run under 3, but it doesn't matter if your goal is 2:30, 3:30, or 4:30. What matters is pursuing your passions and achieving your genetic potential, whatever that may be. If it's 4 hours, it's 4 hours.

This is why you should marry someone with the same values and similar interests. Dating competitive cyclists is fine, dating hobby joggers is fine, but dating couch potatoes is not.

train during your lunch hour at least three-four days a week, for your easy days.

track workout one night a week after work, bring her along, you can make it an adventure together.

why can't she join you for the parkrun on saturday?

wake up early for your long run sunday.

of course it won't always be seamless. but this is a very, very, very reasonable schedule.

of course the biggest issue seems to be 1) that you haven't made more of an effort to do the above and 2) that she does not seem to share your passion or support you whatsoever.

my life partner/spouse is not really a runner. she comes to every single one of my races and cheers for me all along the course. we turn the weekends of my races into adventures where we also do things she's interested in. for my long run sundays, we often drive to a new trailhead together and meet back at the car 3 hours later. she hikes and works on her photography in the wilderness while I run. during the week, she says my running schedule keeps her motivated and reminds her when it's time for her to get in some exercise, even if it's just a walk.

i don't say all this to brag about her, though i love bragging about her. i have an amazing woman who loves me through and through. i know it's rare. but that doesn't mean anyone should settle for less. i wish that for you. somehow i don't get the sense you love your wife or your wife loves you, at least not in the way each of you deserves, if this is really your life.

I know how the marathon can consume you. But, your marriage is much more important in life. I really don't think a grown man needs to be told this.

And, you can always train earlier. I used to run at 4 AM to make a 6 AM commute. You can make exceptions.

In the end, if you end up divorced, you would need to ask; "was it worth it?"

Divorce your commitment to the marathon or else you're in for a DNF on your marriage.

I agree with her.

Double down on it. Make sure she knows how important this is and she should be sacrificing on your marathon journey. She should be giving you full body massages after each run. If she's unwilling, start going to an asian massage parlor. Instead of going out on Saturdays, she can prepare your meals for the week so you are optimally fueled for your grueling runs at 8min pace. Is she driving you to and from work so you can nap in the car? Remember, you're almost a sub-elite athlete!

One long run, one tempo run. Space the two workouts. Consistent weeks of training. Recover the remaining days. I ran 3:20 using this method (6 month block).