Men Are Lost

man h8r wrote:

dis wrote:

Both men and women are lost. Women are trying to be like men, men trying to be more like women. It's a mess, and it seems as a whole neither side is satisfied with the current dating pools.

I wish someone told me that career/financial success was actually a turn off to men. Every man *thinks* he likes a successful woman, but they don't like the traits that inevitably go with it: working late, tired sometimes, can't just take vacations with him whenever he feels like it, difficult to find time to do things like have perfect hair and nails and clothes.

I thought I was lucky to have a good career and a hot runner body. Men like the hot runner body part. They like the career stuff at first, especially successful men, who see you as a relatable human - the sort they might be friends with. And I'm not some boss b*tch, I'm a really nice person.

But as time goes on they realize it's not what they want in a girlfriend or wife. They want someone who can be there for them and their needs. They eventually friend zone me and find some sweet dumb girl who flatters their ego until they get a ring then they stop putting out.

I'd give up all my success to have a nice boyfriend/husband. I don't think it's ever going to happen. Men suck.

20.04 wrote:

Women dont like me as a successful man either. They're just blind. In fact, no one cares about me at all. From the societal lens, I am just another face in the crowd here on this earth. Almost invisible.

I am in my 30s and essentially live a dream lifestyle. I am self made, empathetic, polite, caring and I go out of my way to do a lot for others in the community. I am not god's gift to women but I am content with how I look and feel. I am not unattractive. I love to run and swim. Blue eyes, dark hair, tan skin, fit and a ~200k salary (a lot where I am from). I dont wear my salary on my sleeve but I outearn most everyone in the locale.

The women here give me glances, passively flirt but none of them actually step up even though I show interest. Ive had a few gals over the past three months approach me for one night stands or hookups and I simply cant bring myself to do that. I wont just give myself away Sometimes the gals I form crushes on end up with total losers and it's sad to see. It makes me think "WTF".

I am upset to be alone and upset because I am lonely.

Real Obvi wrote:

20.04 wrote:

Women dont like me as a successful man either. They're just blind. In fact, no one cares about me at all. From the societal lens, I am just another face in the crowd here on this earth. Almost invisible.

I am in my 30s and essentially live a dream lifestyle. I am self made, empathetic, polite, caring and I go out of my way to do a lot for others in the community. I am not god's gift to women but I am content with how I look and feel. I am not unattractive. I love to run and swim. Blue eyes, dark hair, tan skin, fit and a ~200k salary (a lot where I am from). I dont wear my salary on my sleeve but I outearn most everyone in the locale.

The women here give me glances, passively flirt but none of them actually step up even though I show interest. Ive had a few gals over the past three months approach me for one night stands or hookups and I simply cant bring myself to do that. I wont just give myself away Sometimes the gals I form crushes on end up with total losers and it's sad to see. It makes me think "WTF".

I am upset to be alone and upset because I am lonely.

You sound like ChatGPT.

mathematics wrote:

Bad Wigins wrote:

No. They are actually pretty normal.

Most non-nubile women are fat and kid-laden in modern primitive cultures, and they were in prehistory too. Fat was even considered attractive at times in Europe, if the Venus figurines and some periods of art history are any guide.

Once a woman has schlopped out two or three brats, evolution is more interested in her raising those brats than looking pretty and making more.

Being heavier than malnourished was indeed considered attractive. A product of the times, just like having a fancy car or big house today is considered attractive. They both display the ability to have an excess of time, money, or resources.

Looking at it from a biological/evolutionary lens, people are attracted to those things that show the most reproductive potential. Strong men, ample breasts, birthing hips, thick hair, healthy looking people, in short. When everyone else is too underweight to bear children a comparatively heavy person will look better. When everyone else is too fat to bear children a comparatively skinny person will look better.

Surely we can see the nuance between a not-underweight, physically able woman in a time of starvation and a woman who eats to such excess that she cannot walk in a time when food is abundant and basically free.

Sloppy Seconds wrote:

Women used to have to rely on men for financial stability. Now they don’t have to (not that extra income doesn’t hurt), so then you have to ask … what do women want beyond financial stability? Probably emotional support, companionship and empathy … things that most men aren’t naturally good at.

That only one aspect. So much of society has changed, and most of us aren’t adjusting well. The above is just one simplified version of what is happening.

But there is no war on men. I work in the government. They actively want to hire more men bc there are too many women. Colleges are recruiting men because they have too many women. I could go on and on. Just because women have more options doesn’t mean men lose. It’s not a zero-sum game.

Let’s not forget women outlive men so yeah, I need money to support myself when my spouse passes. Sorry I have to work!