Dating opportunities for straight men are diminishing as ‘healthy relationship standards increase’

What about that video made you so triggered?

Maybe I should be taking advice from you, you're able to play your computer games without making your wife mad. Please tell me your secrets.

I think you're talking about Alex - "Playing With Fire" is his YouTube channel. He's one of the more popular dating/self-improvement coaches - about 107k subscribers...not bad considering how are out there on YouTube.

I like some of his content while some of it I don't agree with. Here's a video he did in reference to an incel on a first date with a women he's been corresponding with online for quite sometime. This was kind of brutal to watch - I feel bad for the guy.

Incel is a good troll disguise on here

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the dream is easy man, esp. in America. get educated. smash 400 repeats into your 30s. don't be a d*ck. that guy in the video is an A-class douche.

Alright I'm just gonna put this out there. I'm a 20 year old male virgin, who's never dated. But I will tell you this, I am in college working my way towards a computer science degree, but I can tell you that there is NO EXCUSE for blaming women because you can't have sex. I personally have been rejected a lot by women, but I will never give up and will keep trying until I find the one. I will never fall into Incel rhetoric ever. I am already happy with my current life and I am open to finding new relationships. If you are an Incel, then that means you got some mental issues that you have to fix. You need to get out of the house, stop jerking off to porn, go to college and get a degree, and finally get a full time job before you start to approach women. Dress nice and shave and be sure to use deodorant and you should have no problem in finding a match. You can thank me later.

Dude is in an affiliate program for some iv therapy place, going by his t-shirt. He's not exactly getting a legit demo watching and subscribing lols.

The basic premise that it is men alone, and not women commensurately, are getting single and lonely doesn’t make sense in a population with roughly equal numbers of both sexes because the only way that’s conceivable is if the overwhelming majority of women who happen to be in some kind of steady relationship are all seeking out a small fraction of “emotionally connected” men out of wedlock or whatever steady relationship they are in leaving their steady partner lonely (but still not quite single) while getting their fill of emotional connection .

You’re listening to the reasons women give for their dating grievances?

have you considered the effects of selection bias on those that were vetted for these ladies’ dates? Have you considered that the halo effect skews how personality flaws or career and other deficiencies are outshined by one’s positive physical attributes, and the inverse?

There is no broad incel rhetoric (given that the term describes one whose sexual tank isn’t filled), and possessing grievances due to being a nobody and observing the draining lack of social power had by oneself due to lack of genetic and physical assets doesn’t make someone a bad person; you just happen to have an overwhelmingly positive mindset regarding your future and perceived entitlements and desserts, which is a GREAT and laudable thing to possess, but it doesn’t mean that the current situation insofar as the received value in dating and self-worth to young men is just.

I'm not saying you are entitled to sex nobody is. The thing is the value of men and women is down around the majority of the worlds population because they don't put much effort into improving themselves and then wonder why they are single. If you put more effort, you shouldn't have an issue into finding someone. The thing is most people probably don't put enough effort.

What flowery prose!

1st world probs, amirite?

This doesn't work, don't even bother

source: me.

I have a great degree, great job, dress well an women couldn't care less about me. Why? Because of my looks.

I'm 100% sure it's not my personality as well, as some years ago, when Ok Cupid was a thing, I got a lot of nudes from women there even without using a picture (I wasn't using anyone's pic, not an attractive guy's pic as well: I literally used a black square as a profile pic). I talked a lot with women there.

Of course, after I showed my face everything went downhill.

I suspect you're one of those redpill guys that sells bullsh-t products and advice for desperate people instead of telling the truth.

How's the tactical soap sales going? What about the alpha razor? Get a clue.

Don't listen to this guy.

This can't be real. You're a self-proclaimed virgin giving out dating advice with no sense of irony. Your advice implies that if you don't have a girlfriend it's because you're mentally ill, dumb/lazy and can't figure out basic hygiene. Get out of your computer lab once in a while and you'll figure out things are a little more complicated.

The perspective I'm trying to offer is that the reason people are more lonely, having harder times finding relationships is based on the artificial inflation of female sexual market value. Women are overvaluing themselves and are only trying to date men out of their league, meanwhile men of the same sexual market value are fighting for the scraps. Not good for men or women. I'm only getting pushback because I'm not piling on with the rhetoric that men are just pathetic incels who aren't worthy of being in a woman's presence that seems so popular here.

This whole channel is based off of women on tiktok complaining about the dating market and the content is pretty astounding.

For the most part, you have to use the apps to meet someone. But you need move the conversation off the app as soon as possible. Be bold. Go get coffee or a drink with them as soon as possible. If the vibe is good, move forward with a fun, exciting second date. If not, move on. Have three coffee dates each week, minimum. If you want to meet someone, you have to be serious about it.

I matched with my now-wife on Hinge. We chatted a bit, but never did anything (covid). Months later, I slid into her DMs on instagram and asked if we could hang out. We got together for a drink that week...and exactly one year later we were married.

I think the problem with modern dating is not enough desperation. You have to allow yourself to be desperate and lonely. Most people never hit rock bottom like that. We have porn and other distractions that allow us to stave off that total emptiness for as long as we want. I think to really be able to have a close relationship you have to be kind of desperate. Life is hard and doing it alone can be really, really hard. Life is not hard enough for a lot of people. When sh*t gets real, a lot of the kinds of things people worry about with dating become less important and the drive for survival takes over. Then it becomes a matter of who is going to help you survive, and vice versa. In our culture we can spend our whole lives goofing around and never be that self-aware.

Counterpoint: the content of this thread is pretty astounding.

If they (women) don't understand themselves how am I to?