Again, reading comprehension is a real problem for you. Where did I say schools aren't awarding scholarships to the most talented kids? Show me where.
Again, reading comprehension is a real problem for you. Where did I say schools aren't awarding scholarships to the most talented kids? Show me where.
Unless we’re only talking about distance running which is cheap to train for, you’ll spend way more money on youth club swimming, gymnastics or soccer than your child would ever get back in the form of scholarships.
Whilst I agree that the focus for younger kids should be on fun, basic skill development and exposure to as much different activities as possible, what I still haven't seen anyone address is when a young kid, like in my situation, is significantly better than her peers, how should a parent proceed? I saw a poster talk about kicking the ball in the back, working on ball control and using both feet (she uses her left and right equally well, has exceptional ball control already). But what about on-field competition? My daughter thoroughly enjoys playing. She gets excited for games, so much so she often puts her cleats on in the middle of the night and sleeps in them the night before a game. She's always setting up games in the house and plays against anybody, real or imaginary. She played last night with Minnie and Daisey against the Green Goblin and Rhino. She'll sit and watch soccer with me on the weekends. She has a natural thirst for the sport.
So how can I possibly keep her playing with her peers? How do I not seek competition for her?
It isn't hard. Every state has high level teams that will require a drive of an hour for you. Some of the posters clearly were not D1 athletes nor did they have D1 children. Those are the people telling you to allow your children to find their own way. I was a D1 athlete and I have 4 D1 athlete children. I know more D1 athletes than the vast majority if the posters. Nearly every one of them has a very involved and driven parent.
I would make running a lifestyle not a sport for them. I run with one of my kids on Saturday. And the other on Sunday. Every weekend. Most of the time we're not talking about running while running but what's going on in their life or something they enjoy talking about (of which there are many things). Set them up for good health and fitness then competition is an added benefit if they want to pursue it later as the aerobic capacity will be well built.
Your goal as a parent when it comes to athletics is to keep them fit for the rest of their lives not compete hard in D1 then quit running and get fat.
young dad wrote:
It isn't hard. Every state has high level teams that will require a drive of an hour for you. Some of the posters clearly were not D1 athletes nor did they have D1 children. Those are the people telling you to allow your children to find their own way. I was a D1 athlete and I have 4 D1 athlete children. I know more D1 athletes than the vast majority if the posters. Nearly every one of them has a very involved and driven parent.
Introducing kids to all activities and letting them find their own way when they're young works for track. 8 year old phenom distance runners are often surpassed by the kid who was a soccer or team sport player/swimmer/ martial artist.
Of course parents need to be involved but again they need to allow their kids to figure out which of the many activities to choose.
Generalists will surpass early specialists in most activities including running.
That's your goal. That isn't the goal of the OP.
Let me blunt: I think being a college athlete is a silly venture unless you are on a near-full scholarship. Using it to get an admissions spot at a top d1 or d3 school is one thing, but that’s not helpful if you’re a UMC donut hole family. I think it is extremely self-destructive to major in something useless if you’d need to do that to also have time for competing. And for every Stanford HumBio 4.0 All-American, there’s thousands of kids at other schools who fail out, go into debt, graduate with a useless degree, quit the team, or are miserable. There plenty of d1 schools that are terrible both academically & athletically.
schooling wrote:
Let me blunt: I think being a college athlete is a silly venture unless you are on a near-full scholarship. Using it to get an admissions spot at a top d1 or d3 school is one thing, but that’s not helpful if you’re a UMC donut hole family. I think it is extremely self-destructive to major in something useless if you’d need to do that to also have time for competing. And for every Stanford HumBio 4.0 All-American, there’s thousands of kids at other schools who fail out, go into debt, graduate with a useless degree, quit the team, or are miserable. There plenty of d1 schools that are terrible both academically & athletically.
See: Rice University in practically every sport.
Rice is the prime example for lack of sport equity.
Are you implying that Rice University is terrible academically?
I’m moreso talking about schools like Saint Francis University in Pa, Samford, etc. Private “D1” schools that are expensive for most of their students with poor academic & athletic outcomes.
I also feel this way about several of the Patriot League schools considering how expensive they are. I don’t expect everyone here to agree with that. Not that they have poor outcomes, just that they suck at sports & for the price they charge UMC kids I’d expect absolutely outstanding career results.
schooling wrote:
Are you implying that Rice University is terrible academically?
I’m moreso talking about schools like Saint Francis University in Pa, Samford, etc. Private “D1” schools that are expensive for most of their students with poor academic & athletic outcomes.
I also feel this way about several of the Patriot League schools considering how expensive they are. I don’t expect everyone here to agree with that. Not that they have poor outcomes, just that they suck at sports & for the price they charge UMC kids I’d expect absolutely outstanding career results.
Sure! That's why I used the term SPORT twice!
Clearly I meant academics
Until I didn't.
You freaking people.
Stoppit Smith II wrote:
schooling wrote:
Are you implying that Rice University is terrible academically?
I’m moreso talking about schools like Saint Francis University in Pa, Samford, etc. Private “D1” schools that are expensive for most of their students with poor academic & athletic outcomes.
I also feel this way about several of the Patriot League schools considering how expensive they are. I don’t expect everyone here to agree with that. Not that they have poor outcomes, just that they suck at sports & for the price they charge UMC kids I’d expect absolutely outstanding career results.
Sure! That's why I used the term SPORT twice!
Clearly I meant academics
Until I didn't.
You freaking people.
Sorry I have terrible reading comprehension lol.
I was a D1 runner and my parents loved me to death, but had no idea what I was doing in sport and barely knew what distances I ran or what times were good. My parents always had my back, always gave me what I needed, but only occasionally came to see a competition. When they came, I enjoyed it, but when they didn't come, it didn't matter to me. As a top athlete, I got plenty of attention from the running community, coaches and peers. Molly Seidel mentions this in an interview. She said something to the effect that it is important to her that her family and loved ones do not identify her as an athlete first. When they sit down for dinner, they don't talk about her training or races. It is really important that your closest loved ones identify you as a person. For example, if I had approached my parents my senior year of high school and said that I had given it a lot of thought and I wanted to quit running (I was state champion that year) and focus more on playing the saxophone, they would have encouraged me to really think about a big decision like that and talk it through, but they ultimately would be happy that I was pursuing my dreams.
My children were both top high school athletes, college recruits, and now participate in club sports in college. One of my daughters was recruited to a D1 program, but decided not to go all in because she wanted time in college to focus on academics and some other strong interests. She didn't see the time spent training and travelling as how she wanted to spend her life. I see this as successful parenting because my children had the option to pursue high level sports, are still athletes at the club level in college and likely will be fit for life, but their identity isn't so wrapped around a given sport that they cannot make decisions to move laterally in their lives.
The best advice I have as a parent is to encourage your kids to do a wide variety of activates that they enjoy, whatever those activities may be. Do not identify your child with a given sport or identity. If they have a competition, let them tell you what was the important part of the day to them. Don't ask about their finishing place, time, place on the team, etc, but ask how was the race today? How did you feel? What are your goals for next time? This will show your kids that you are more interested in them as a person than their results. Don't let their results be a reflection on you and your identity. Kids can feel that, and it feels like pressure. Drive to succeed in running or saxophone comes from a desire and passion within. Very little you can say or do will affect their drive in a given activity, but you can apply pressure.
Let's face it, sooner or later all of us have a bad season, injury, or stop improving in sport. This is when you need a balanced life, people who care about you more as a person than as an athlete, and a heathy identity. My foremost goal was always to raise children who know how to be happy AND succeed. There are many successful people out there that struggle to be happy. Let your children find their own identities and let them be multi-faceted. Stand back a bit and watch them find their way, supporting the whole process.
Peace and have fun with them!
HRE wrote:
Your kids are 6 and 8. Nothing means anything before puberty matters no matter how good they are or aren't now. .
Thread.
I bet we can ALL think of that kid that was the Gym Class Hero in elementary and middle school, but by HS they weren't even a starter on their school's team.
All you can do is expose them to sports, keep it light, keep it fun, and do everything you can to keep from buying into travel leagues and all that BS.
"I was a D1 runner and my parents loved me to death, but had no idea what I was doing in sport and barely knew what distances I ran or what times were good."
Similar experience here, my mother and father supported my running all through HS and college, but I could have told them I was happy to run a 4:59 mile they would have been just fine with that. If I had quit the team they would have talked to me about why I was quitting something I had loved, but they wouldn't really have cared about the running part, it would be the sudden change in behavior.
Bingo Is His Namo wrote:
Whilst I agree that the focus for younger kids should be on fun, basic skill development and exposure to as much different activities as possible, what I still haven't seen anyone address is when a young kid, like in my situation, is significantly better than her peers, how should a parent proceed? I saw a poster talk about kicking the ball in the back, working on ball control and using both feet (she uses her left and right equally well, has exceptional ball control already). But what about on-field competition? My daughter thoroughly enjoys playing. She gets excited for games, so much so she often puts her cleats on in the middle of the night and sleeps in them the night before a game. She's always setting up games in the house and plays against anybody, real or imaginary. She played last night with Minnie and Daisey against the Green Goblin and Rhino. She'll sit and watch soccer with me on the weekends. She has a natural thirst for the sport.
So how can I possibly keep her playing with her peers? How do I not seek competition for her?
She is enjoying the sport without much competition and clearly improving at it. What other goals should there be for very young children? You say she enjoys playing against imaginary opponents. So playing against less skilled opponents is a step above that.
coachy wrote:
You say she enjoys playing against imaginary opponents. So playing against less skilled opponents is a step above that.
:facepalm:
Maybe that parent should be asking at what age is appropriate to start pushing his daughter. With each child being different, what are the indicators that she is ready for competition? What age range? How dominant is too dominant? If you are a parent of child playing against a girl scoring at will, what exactly are you thinking and what is your message to your daughter who is out there to have fun but is getting embarrassed by a significantly better player.
Don't focus on sports, so to speak.
Focus on raising young people who will dedicate themselves to whatever they do and can compartmentalize and not obsess over one thing.
I was a decent athlete, my wife not athletic at all.
Our daughter took up figure skating at 5. By 9 she was landing double jumps.
But, growing up, she did her best at everything she tried and didn't obsess over anything.
At 11 she abruptly announced that she wanted to quit skating to become a runner- she got a scholarship along with academic money.
She's a happy, successful adult now.
I guess the moral of the story is- raise good, decent PEOPLE first. If they have the talent and the work ethic (that you instill through instruction and example) they will reach their full potential.
JonElk wrote:
I was a D1 runner and my parents loved me to death, but had no idea what I was doing in sport and barely knew what distances I ran or what times were good. My parents always had my back, always gave me what I needed, but only occasionally came to see a competition. When they came, I enjoyed it, but when they didn't come, it didn't matter to me. As a top athlete, I got plenty of attention from the running community, coaches and peers. Molly Seidel mentions this in an interview. She said something to the effect that it is important to her that her family and loved ones do not identify her as an athlete first. When they sit down for dinner, they don't talk about her training or races. It is really important that your closest loved ones identify you as a person. For example, if I had approached my parents my senior year of high school and said that I had given it a lot of thought and I wanted to quit running (I was state champion that year) and focus more on playing the saxophone, they would have encouraged me to really think about a big decision like that and talk it through, but they ultimately would be happy that I was pursuing my dreams.
My children were both top high school athletes, college recruits, and now participate in club sports in college. One of my daughters was recruited to a D1 program, but decided not to go all in because she wanted time in college to focus on academics and some other strong interests. She didn't see the time spent training and travelling as how she wanted to spend her life. I see this as successful parenting because my children had the option to pursue high level sports, are still athletes at the club level in college and likely will be fit for life, but their identity isn't so wrapped around a given sport that they cannot make decisions to move laterally in their lives.
The best advice I have as a parent is to encourage your kids to do a wide variety of activates that they enjoy, whatever those activities may be. Do not identify your child with a given sport or identity. If they have a competition, let them tell you what was the important part of the day to them. Don't ask about their finishing place, time, place on the team, etc, but ask how was the race today? How did you feel? What are your goals for next time? This will show your kids that you are more interested in them as a person than their results. Don't let their results be a reflection on you and your identity. Kids can feel that, and it feels like pressure. Drive to succeed in running or saxophone comes from a desire and passion within. Very little you can say or do will affect their drive in a given activity, but you can apply pressure.
Let's face it, sooner or later all of us have a bad season, injury, or stop improving in sport. This is when you need a balanced life, people who care about you more as a person than as an athlete, and a heathy identity. My foremost goal was always to raise children who know how to be happy AND succeed. There are many successful people out there that struggle to be happy. Let your children find their own identities and let them be multi-faceted. Stand back a bit and watch them find their way, supporting the whole process.
Peace and have fun with them!
This is great parenting advice whether about sports or anything else.
let kids play all sports bb, soccer, etc.. see which they enjoy, then give them the support they need to excel in the sport. I had 4 top D1 level kids. 1 went pro, 2 D1 full rides (1 decided on Ivy so no $). Up until about 13 they played all sports (bb, sb, track, cheeleading, soccer) then mainly soccer and track. Find a coach with a track record of developing college level athletes and let him/her do her thing. Kids love what they are good at so they will figure it out with your guidance.