You had a decent run, but alas, all good things must come to an end.
You had a decent run, but alas, all good things must come to an end.
Dad Concerned wrote:
I confronted my daughter. It did not go well. She got very defensive. She would not let me see her phone. Now she is threatening to go stay with her mother, who probably wouldn't care if anything were going on since she was having multiple affairs with very young men when we were married.
2/10
You're improving, keep it up! Or is that what she said?
You don't type like a concerned dad. You type like you're apathetic, which is pathetic.
I'm a current HS XC coach in my mid 20's. For two reasons, I never text my runners (I mainly coach the girls team) because: (1) I already have way too many family and friends texting me at all hours day and night - and the last thing I want is to feel like I need to respond to a text from one of my runners, and (2) I think there are more efficient ways to communicate with the team - I do often use emails that I send simultaneously to the team and parents regarding practices, meets, and all the other logistics.
However, I do give my runners (and parents) my cell number, but make it super clear at the beginning of each season to only use in an emergency! I've been coaching now for 3 years and have NEVER yet received a text from a runner! Indeed, last year a girl did have an emergency where she was going to miss our bus departing from the school for a meet - but instead of texting me, she texted her teammates, who showed me the text on the bus, and then we got the bus on the road. More frequently, I have parents call and text me during XC meets (if they can't find me wandering around the course) just to tell me they plan to drive their daughter home rather than send her back on the bus.
I have never had one-on-one conversations about anything over email or text with any of my runners. We just talk before and after practice about school, college, and other crap, and these conversations are almost always with a small group. If I want to say something private to a runner, I just pull them aside for a few seconds at practice or a meet.
So - to the OP - check it out! A 24 yo coach should NOT be texting your 15 yo runner. By the way - the parents of my runners grow pretty close to one another, especially after hanging out together thru some long meets. So, maybe just politely/discreetly ask another parent if their daughter is receiving text messages from the coach as well. -- That's it - sorry this was way too long.
I constantly am sending texts to my college team. They are 99.9% as group texts. My best time to send these are late at night or early mornings. These texts are dealing with team matters. On the occasions that I send individual texts they are in response to an individual issue ,(injury, personal issued- death in family/ conflict within the team or perhaps school issues). The team can text or call me anytime. Now as a parent I do look at my daughter's phone. I feel you should as well. I trust her, but there are others I don't trust. I meet with each member of my team weekly. Usually during warmups or warmdowns. Always done in full sight of the team. Give the coach the benefit, but if he/she steps out of line. Report them immediately- we don't need them in the coaching ranks.
Hate to say it but you should read the convo. Normally i would consider that to be pretty low but if this guy is chatting up 15 year olds then he needs to be removed from his position immediately because thats messed up and it most likely doesn't start and end with just your daughter. Every adult male should respect a certain boundary when it comes to young girls so no matter what his motives are, its still inappropriate. If they are strictly speaking about training then they would have no issue doing it via an email account that you all have access too. Also worth considering, if he is a 24 year old male in an authoritative position over your daughter then as a 15 year old girl, she probably has a thing for him and either way it's not a healthy relationship for her. Best to just put a stop to this thing as soon as you can. If the coach is at all decent then he will immediately respect the situation and back off. If he doesn't, i'm sure the principle at the high school would not be ok with the situation.
Just convert to islam, problem solved.
Ask yourself - 'if it was my 15 year old son being texted by a sexy MILF athletics coach, would I be reacting in the same way, or would I be saying 'lucky boy'?'
Dad Concerned wrote:
I confronted my daughter. It did not go well. She got very defensive. She would not let me see her phone. Now she is threatening to go stay with her mother, who probably wouldn't care if anything were going on since she was having multiple affairs with very young men when we were married.
Huge red flag.
Dad Concerned wrote:
Not sure what to do here. My daughter is 15 and runs XC. She is probably the number 3 girl on the team and best of her class. The coach is young, probably 24. He is constantly texting my daughter, especially at night. While I haven't actually read the texts, I don't understand why they are texting back and forth so much. I don't want to be an over-bearing parent but I am irked by the coach texting my daughter.
Any parents have experience with this?
There is a very real possibility that your daughter is actually not texting her coach. She could be texting friends/guys in her school and using the excuse that she is texting her coach as a cover up.
Be a parent and find out what she is texting, she'll resent you for a while, but it's for her own safety.
You're over reacting. Have some faith in your kid.
If you are paying the cell bill, look at the record of her texts and see if a number matches her coach's cell. That would be a smoking gun worth pursuing if the volume of texts and time of the texts warrant.
Doesn't matter whether he's paying the bill. Look at the cell phone, fellow dad. Your job is to protect your daughter, even if it angers her.
It won't even matter in 3 years bro. Chill
Dad Concerned wrote:
I confronted my daughter. It did not go well. She got very defensive. She would not let me see her phone. Now she is threatening to go stay with her mother, who probably wouldn't care if anything were going on since she was having multiple affairs with very young men when we were married.
She's a great lay and into bondage too-- mom that is! I'm an 18-year-old H.S. senior so the "MILF" is way more exotic.
Wut. This sounds like the plot to a movie.
PoPo wrote:
If you are paying the cell bill, look at the record of her texts and see if a number matches her coach's cell. That would be a smoking gun worth pursuing if the volume of texts and time of the texts warrant.
Then contact the school's athletic director and principal.
I'm also ashamed that no one's offered to step in and help dispose of the body yet.
36 months from now wrote:
It won't even matter in 3 years bro. Chill
It won't matter that much 9 months from now when OP's a grandad...
She's still your daughter, Pops, chill.
why? coaches and athletes can be friends. Coaches are role models and leaders to their athletes. Good coaches reach out to there athletes and get to know them. I wouldn't want a coach who only talks about the sport....that would suck!