Other Team's Coach wrote:
Wasn't my coach, but a coach of another team.
It's an indoor meet and for some reason a girl is running in the Boys 3200.
She's battling another boy from our conference for last place, going neck and neck switching the lead for 14 laps.
With two laps to go his coach yells at him "If you're going to run with her that long you better at least get her phone number!"
This is downright hilarious. I'm stealing this.
My coach also taught one of my classes. One of the other kids in my class was making fun of my big nose. He asks the teacher (my coach) if he had a nose like mine if he'd get a nose job. "I'd get it fixed," the teacher said.
That was a great confidence builder for someone who's not very good looking to begin with.
Was running with a coach from another team, doing 400m intervals. He was a former elite.
As we were comin down the final stretch on the final 400m, he started to kick, and then my mom got scared and said I had to live with an aunt and uncle in Southern California. When I got in the cab I noticed it had dice in the mirror. Looking around I was finally there to be the road king of Bel Aire.
SonjaHenie wrote:
" You're too f'' n fat, Sonja."
The worst thing you can say to a teenage girl. Cried myself to sleep that night.
So are you a teenage girl or an old guy with a Puritanical wife who goes to strip clubs?
SonjaHenie wrote:
The Blue Moon in Tyngsborough, MA, has amateur night on Wednesday.
For some reason dancers bring their boyfriends or husbands. Went to one with a douchey coworker who got drunk and thought it was funny to boo and laff at a chubby, rather pathetic older dancer, and as you could guess there were fisticuffs between her biker benefactor and said douche who was sporting a shiner at work the next day.
Also I went to a club in Reno used a credit card to pay for drinks and a week later when i got home, there were hundreds of unauthorized charges.
Try explaining that to a Puritanical old wife.
But I had great time at bachelor weekend, prenup in Montreal which has the most beautiful girls anywhere.
Its not what he said - its what my coach did not (or could not) say...
A High School DMR - I anchored. Got the baton in next to last place, down ~ 100m from the leaders. I knew the completion and the guys ahead of me were not top milers. I wanted to catch them but did not want to gas myself early. Of course I was really looking forward to hearing my splits. As I am coming in to hear my first 400 I heard my coach mumble something inaudible. Damn.
As I come in for the 800m split I see my coach then I see why my split was inaudible. He is holding a huge foot long chili dog. As I am closing in on the start-finish I see him try to take another quick bite. He does and of tries to sputter out something with pieces of bun spewing forth, chili dripping from his mouth. I swear it was one of those slow-motion, is this really happening moments.
WTF - I am running my ass off and he can't even get my f'ing splits. I ended up catching the leaders, we won the DMR and I broke 4:30 for the first time in my life with a 4:28 split. I never knew for sure but am pretty confident it was all negative splits...really negative.
My coach insisted on yelling "time to lose your Irish temper". I have red hair, but I am not Irish. It was a stupid thing to say and I requested several times that he not say it. He replied "but it makes you run faster." Finally, he said it in a dual meet my Junior year. I had about 30 seconds on second place. I said "you can apologize or I am done running for you." He said "ok sorry just don't stop again." I said "thank you" and ran the last 200. Afterward he said I was going to be off the team for the Georgetown Prep Invite as punishment for my antics. I had to sit out the invitational, but by the District meet he was sitting out the rest of his coaching career after he was fired. Thankfully, all of my other coaches afterward were people I would take a bullet for.
My cross country and track coaches were both pretty mild-mannered guys. I never heard them say anything bad to anyone. That wasn't their style.
I did have a baseball coach who once told me "sometimes you're more trouble than you're worth." I sucked, so I think by "sometimes" he meant "all the time."
My favorite sport was basketball but then I had a season with a coach who selected me for the team but then never looked me in the eye and never said anything to me. That was the end of my hoops career.
doot doot wrote:
"Just relax..." 😉
Was this during summer camp at Penn State?
I was a state champ in the 800 back in HS and my coach was not invested in my training whatsoever so I took matters (my training) into my own hands..
1 week after winning the indoor state title for 800, I got a stress fracture in my shin. I went to doc, and was put in boot and so on. I told my coach who goes on to say that "you're always injured. Keep this up and you'll never amount to anything." He also never once congratulated me for breaking records, winning races and so on.
2 years later I'm an All-American. He hasn't talked to me since that day .. Learned a lot about coaching (and how not to coach in regards to him) and want to apply it in the future
vassar basher wrote:
My coach also taught one of my classes. One of the other kids in my class was making fun of my big nose. He asks the teacher (my coach) if he had a nose like mine if he'd get a nose job. "I'd get it fixed," the teacher said.
That was a great confidence builder for someone who's not very good looking to begin with.
This was pretty sad. Worst abuse story here IMO.
OTOH if you were black, you would have had a good chance in the ghetto lottery with that one.
"no one talk on the way home, and if you do then walk home. Talk to the ad, they can fire me I don't care"
Small school, coed xc team. One gal-I'll call her Debbie-was particularly curvy-and not built for the 5k-but she tried hard, and I think got more than could be expected out of her non-runner's body. The male coach was very abusive toward her-belittling her times, calling her out as a bad example, and on and on. Fast forward 5 years, and they run into each other at the local grocery store and the former coach asked her on a date. Debbie-who also was the class Salutatorian-at 23 years old had blossomed into a very bright, very confident, and very beautiful lady. She just went off on the coach in the grocery store---"You have got to be kidding me. After all the abuse you heaped on me in high school-after all the obnoxious comments-on top of the fact that you're 15 years older than me." Publicly humiliated the guy-within a year, he had moved on.
Year around club coach here. Here was the conversation with the a local head coach at the beginning of summer training for a group of senior boys, going in with low-sub 16 min PRs. He liked them at 35-40.
"They'll burn out at 55 to 60 miles a week!"
That's abusive because then the kids go off to college and are expected to run 100 miles weeks in the first year of XC.
"You are having a better preseason than Dooley Woomack!"
I said "no, don't touch me there coach!" And he was like, "quiet boy. It's our little secret."
Our entire boys team (mostly mid to low 16 runners) once went out slower than our top two girls (17:30 and 18 flat) in a small invitational meet. They didn't even go out fast--we just went out absurdly slowly.
Our coach let us have it after that. Just went off on our shitty attitudes, how none of us cared about the sport, and a giant list of reasons why our girls team would always be stronger than our guys team, mostly centering around them caring and us not. Another sizable chunk was about how runners were supposed to be smart but we still managed to be complete idiots.
Our guys ended up placing nobody in the top 10 at the meet but winning overall going like 11-12-13-14-15 with a 10 second spread. Our girls went 1-3-4, but ended up taking second.
In retrospect, the coach was right about us underperforming--he was kind of a jerk, but our guys just never had the XC mindset. We'd have crazy depth in track--maybe 15 guys under 5, 5 under 4:35 in any given year--which should have translated really well to XC, but our 4:25 track guys never ended up being the 15:30 XC studs we needed to buoy us. We had depth, but it always felt like our top guys preferred to run 16:30s in packs with the 3th - 7th than 15:30s alone.
Hounddogharrier wrote:
"You are having a better preseason than Dooley Woomack!"
The Dooley Woomack?